Mosaic
by ShaViva
Summary: What is it that initially draws your attention to another person? What is it that helps you realise your place in the scheme of things? For Evan and Jennifer the answers to those questions come at a high price. Impressions tag.  Lorne/Keller pre-ship.
1. Sadness

**Mosaic**

Author: ShaViva

Rating: T+

Season: season 4, between Reunion and Doppelganger

Summary: What is it that initially draws your attention to another person? What is it that helps you realise your place? For Evan and Jennifer the answers to those questions come at almost too high a price.

Classifications: Drama/Romance

Pairings: Evan Lorne/Jennifer Keller pre-ship/ship

Key warnings: Implied character death; investigation of alleged sexual assault

Other warnings: Unbeta'd – errors minimized as best I can but some minor ones will probably creep in.

Spoilers for: HUGE honking spoilers for the SGA audio drama Impressions, narrated by Kavan Smith. General spoilers for SGA up to the beginning of season 4, and in particular Sunday, First Strike, Adrift, and Lifeline.

Acknowledgements: I used Gateworld transcripts to check details here and there. Researched many details for this as well – I'll mention sources at the end of the chapters they apply to.

Disclaimer: I am unfortunately not associated in any way with the creators, owners, or producers of Stargate or any of its media franchises, which is obvious because one, SGA would still be on and two, Lorne would be there ALL the time! All publicly recognizable characters, settings, equipment, etc are the property of whoever owns them. Any original characters, plot, settings, and anything else I made up are the property of me, the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Copyright (c) 2011 ShaViva

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><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>

If you haven't listened to the SGA audio drama Impressions and you have some inclination to do so in the future, then you might want to reconsider reading this. The story contains HUGE, 'spoil the ending' SPOILERS – seriously, I will ruin it for you if you read this and then listen to Impressions for the first time later. This starts as a tag to Impressions and I do reference the key events that happen during the audio drama. Of course, if you haven't listened to Impressions and don't think you will but always wondered what it was about, this is the story for you!

As many of you know, I've listened to Impressions a time or two … all right, a LOT. Every time I do, new things get me thinking. This time it was a scene where Lorne comments that everyone gives the same response when he asks them what something he painted makes them feel. At the same time I was thinking about Jennifer – she goes from wanting to be replaced as CMO at the beginning of First Strike to piping up with the answers in Doppelganger, just three episodes later. How did that happen? These combined musings spawned this story. Note that if there are lines that sound VERY familiar to you, they're deliberate – a 'shout out' to my fellow Impressions fans ;)

Finally, this is all written, so there shouldn't be major posting delays – probably won't post over the weekends but otherwise will try to keep this one moving quickly.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Sadness<strong>

"_There is no grief like the grief that does not speak"  
>Henry Wadsworth Longfellow<em>

"_Major Lorne!"_

Jennifer Keller stared at the balcony Major Lorne had just disappeared over, her face twisted with horror and disbelief, the echo of Doctor Heightmeyer's anguished cry still pounding in her ears.

For a moment it was as though everything froze – even amidst the chaos of the city bucking and tilting in the water like a restrained prisoner trying to escape. It wasn't the first incident – over the past two days they'd suffered progressively more serious problems with Atlantis, starting with a city wide power surge and ending with the current instability in the structure itself. The city had literally thrown itself from side to side, lurching up and down, like there was a thorn in its side it was trying to dislodge.

It took a few moments for the city to settle, during which it was impossible for any of those present in Kate's office to get to their feet. As soon as it seemed the current 'fit' was over, Jennifer and Kate both stood and rushed to the balcony, grabbing the railing as they looked below.

Swallowing hard, Jennifer quickly turned away from the sight of metal so far beneath them. Kate's office was really high, with nothing between her balcony and the floor of the city at sea level. It was a _long_ way down. Jenn couldn't see the Major's body from so far away but her brain supplied images sufficient to have her tamping down on a wave of nausea.

There was no way anyone could have survived that fall.

"Oh God," she muttered weakly. They'd just lost the city's second in command and it was her fault. She should have known something was wrong when he'd come to the infirmary the previous day.

Even before Carson's death Jennifer could have counted on one hand the number of times the Major visited the infirmary outside of post mission check-ups. And yet he'd come in yesterday. He'd been acting strangely too – Jenn was well aware that to the Major she had been mostly invisible, a condition that hadn't changed much after she'd been forced to take over as CMO. He wasn't invisible to her. She'd be embarrassed if anyone knew just how much time she spent 'noticing' Evan Lorne – in the Mess with his team, in the Gateroom before and after missions, leading training … doing security rounds. She'd noticed many things about him. The obvious, like how good looking he was, the compelling blue grey of his eyes, the dimples that flashed into view on the rare occasions when he laughed outright, the muscles in his forearms. Many details struck her but they were accompanied by general impressions too. His strength. His control. How capable he seemed. How nice he was to everyone. He never had a harsh word, never spoke in anger, but more than that, he had a way of speaking that put even the most nervous person at ease.

And yet in the infirmary with her yesterday he'd been abrupt, impatient even as he's revealed that he'd felt dizzy and had fallen to the ground – he'd been sullen and cranky and frankly a bit of a jerk. _She should have realised that meant something_! Instead she'd written off his behaviour as well as the mild elevation of activity around his hippocampus as nothing more than stress. Carson would have insisted the Major stay for more tests – and for Carson Major Lorne would probably have agreed. Then they'd have found whatever the Major's problem was _before_ he'd been thrown off a balcony to his death.

She couldn't hold back the moan of despair that gripped her. It wasn't like she'd expected to ever be anything but the doctor who replaced his friend to Major Lorne. Still, she felt the loss of something precious. The grief overwhelmed her – she felt suffocated within the confines of her hazmat suit. With quick, almost jerking movements she ripped off the gloves and then the helmet and dropped them to the ground, unzipping the suit and just as quickly removing it to join the pile of discarded protective clothing. A cool breeze greeted her, moved over her face almost caressingly, but it didn't take away that feeling that there was no longer enough air, that the world had just gotten smaller.

"Jennifer?" Kate put a hand to Jenn's shoulder in concern.

"I'm _so_ sorry Kate," Jennifer met her friend's eyes guiltily. "Major Lorne came to the infirmary yesterday. I examined him but there wasn't anything to indicate a serious problem. I thought it was stress – I put a note on his file recommending he come and see you. That – what we came in on – that wasn't stress. I missed something crucial." She glanced down at the medical scanner she held, her emotions dipping even more when she realised what the readings were telling her. "His hormone levels are all over the place," she admitted weakly, looking to Kate again. "How could I have missed that?"

"You didn't," Kate said bracingly, putting an arm around Jennifer and leading her back into her office.

The room was a mess – chairs knocked over, some thrown far enough that they rested upside-down against the wall. Jennifer's emergency medical team were still there – their red hazmat suits looking alien in the confines of the psychiatrist's office. As soon as they saw both doctors return the team seemed to wake up, moving to help right the furniture before Jennifer told them to return to the infirmary in case they were needed elsewhere. The city had shaken them all and it was likely there would be minor injuries from all around Atlantis.

Once they were alone, Kate took her customary seat and motioned for Jennifer to sit across from her.

"What happened before we got here?" Jennifer felt compelled to ask. Nothing was going to assuage her guilt. She just … _needed_ to know.

"Major Lorne seemed fine at first," Kate began. "He was clearly troubled but at the same time he was coherent, logical in his explanations – he didn't give me any cause to suspect there was anything physically wrong with him."

"And then?"

"And then the alarms went off and it was like Major Lorne was connected to them in some way," Kate's face paled as she relived the scene in her mind. "He went rigid, like thousands of volts of electricity were going through him." She looked down at her clenched hands. "He stared at me but I don't think he could see me – what he _could_ see was more horrific than anything he'd ever seen before but he couldn't look away. His eyes were wide open and then he squeezed them closed so tightly tears came out, only they weren't tears, they were blood. Then he began to spasm. Blood seeped from his ears and nose ... from his mouth too." She met Jennifer's anguished gaze with her own. "I thought he was going to die right there, in the chair across from me. I've never seen anything like it Jennifer."

"And that's when you called the infirmary," Jennifer's tone was low as she pushed back her personal feelings and tried to consider what Kate had shared from a medical point of view. No wonder Kate called in a full hazmat team – she'd feared some kind of haemorrhagic disease. "I've never come across a case with this particular set of symptoms. The dizziness and the additional activity in the hippocampus yesterday could indicate some kind of brain condition but that wouldn't cause raised hormone levels or the behavioural changes we saw in the Major, not so quickly. A pathogen or even something as simple as a vitamin K deficiency might explain the bleeding but the sudden onset from a completely normal state is extreme, even for the most serious cases. His apparent recovery from that state doesn't fit either."

"He talked about some paintings he'd done," Kate offered the detail with a frown, doctor patient confidentiality put aside because Lorne was gone and they still might have some kind of biohazard threat to deal with. "One before he went to see you yesterday and the rest overnight, in his sleep. He had no memory of creating any of them – that's what prompted him to come and see me this morning."

"Memory lapses are consistent with neurologic syncope – if the electrical discharges in the Major's brain were disordered, he _would_ lose consciousness and awaken disorientated or confused," Jennifer frowned at the addition of another symptom that just didn't fit. "Somnambulism isn't unusual either but undertaking such complex tasks while asleep is rare. I don't know of any kind of virus or pathogen that would cause someone to do that."

"Do you think it could be contagious?" Kate asked. Both were aware they were on a new planet, untried and untested. It was impossible to know if there was anything new that would threaten their people. The ocean surrounding the city and the distance to the mainland should provide some level of protection from native illnesses but there were no guarantees.

"No one else has presented to the infirmary with anything like this and with the other symptoms it seems unlikely but … I don't know," Jennifer replied. "I'll consult the ancient database, see if there are cases documented with similar symptoms there." She pushed herself to her feet, feeling decades older than she'd been when she got up that morning.

"And I'll go and look at these paintings," Kate offered. "Maybe there's a clue in them."

"Good idea," Jennifer agreed. She hesitated a moment and then continued. "I'll report what happened to Colonel Sheppard." Colonel Carter had gone off world with Doctor McKay earlier that day and John was in charge until she returned.

"I could -," Kate began.

"No," Jennifer interrupted. "I missed something yesterday Kate, and Major Lorne paid the price. It's my responsibility to inform the Colonel." She didn't add that she had every intention of stepping down as CMO while she was there – she wasn't up to the demands of the job, had never wanted to take it on in the first place, not permanently. What happened to Major Lorne proved that her instincts had been correct.

"Jennifer, it wasn't your fault," Kate insisted. "Go back and look at the scans you took yesterday and compare them with the ones you just got. You'll see."

"Maybe," Jennifer allowed, not convinced. Giving Kate a forced smile she quickly left her friend's office, dreading what she had to do next.

**Authors Note:**

Since I'm not a doctor and have no medical training at all I researched Lorne's symptoms, and in particular causes of bleeding like he had (from wikipedia) and non epileptic seizures (from www dot epilepsysociety dot org dot uk).

Robert Plutchik created a wheel of emotions in 1980 which consisted of 8 basic emotions - I used these to form the basis for each chapter of the story, with the addition of a set of secondary emotions added to the simple model when I worked out I needed a lot more than eight chapters (source also wikipedia).

Thanks for reading!


	2. Anger

**Chapter 2: Anger**

"_Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath."  
>Eckhart Tolle<em>

Jennifer headed from Kate's office straight to the control room where Colonel Sheppard was most likely to be. On the way she radioed the infirmary for an update and was relieved to hear that although they'd had a few calls for assistance as well as a handful of personnel reporting to the infirmary with injuries, all cases were minor. It _was_ a relief but it couldn't comfort her, because they'd lost someone ... they'd lost Lorne.

In the control room John was standing beside a console while Radek Zelenka tapped commands out rapidly. Both men looked seriously concerned – not surprising given the problems with the city.

"Colonel?" Jenn interrupted the two men hesitantly.

"Doc," Sheppard glanced up briefly, straightening when he got a good look at her expression. "Problem?" he queried, shifting away from Radek so they could speak privately.

"Um, it's about the medical emergency ... in Doctor Heightmeyer's office," Jennifer stumbled with her word choices, struggling for a beginning.

"I heard that," John frowned in concern. 'Is everything all right?"

"No," Jennifer said starkly. She'd had to give John bad news too recently to be doing it again and there was no easy way to convey those kinds of messages. "No it's not. Major Lorne was – there was an … incident and the Major was on the balcony when the city became unstable. He ah … he was thrown …," she stopped, pleading with her eyes for him to get the message without her having to say the words.

John understood immediately, his expression going blank, his eyes like dark pools incapable of reflecting light. "Major Lorne fell from Doctor Heightmeyer's office balcony during the last seizures," he confirmed in a low tone.

"I'm afraid so," Jennifer's voice was thick with emotion.

"_Damn it!_" Sheppard turned away, his back ramrod straight. The control room fell silent as the staff on duty picked up that something bad had happened. Folding his arms across his chest John stood for a moment before turning back to Jennifer. "What _incident_?"

Jennifer explained the sequence of events that led to her being in Kate's office. "Major Lorne wasn't himself," she said. "He argued that he was fine when it was clear to all of us that he was anything but fine. He was extremely agitated and only got more so the longer the confrontation continued. I approached with a sedative and tried to calm him down but he panicked. Even though I halted my approach he continued to back away until he was standing on the balcony. That's when the city pitched more forcefully. Those of us inside Kate's office were flung backwards to the floor and the Major …," she stopped, striving for a facade of calm, striving to keep her explanation business like, before continuing. "I had the medical scanner with me and I managed to get some readings before the Major fell. His adrenalin, cortisol, and testosterone levels were all well outside the norm and his amygdala was extremely overactive. Among other things, the amygdala controls fear Colonel – it explains why he reacted so negatively to the medical team."

John stood for a moment, his expression like stone, his eyes dark with a mix of fury and dismay.

"I'll do a full report as soon as-," Jennifer began.

"Why?" John interrupted and she knew he was asking why Major Lorne had suffered what he'd suffered.

"I don't know," she admitted starkly. "I've never seen anything like this – I'll have to review the scans I took and search the Ancient database. Hopefully I'll have an answer soon." She stopped, eyeing John carefully before she spoke again. She knew having the anger of Colonel Sheppard directed solely on her would be an unpleasant experience – she'd watched Rodney McKay deflate in the face of an angry Sheppard only a few weeks before – but she felt driven to seek it out anyway. She _deserved_ his anger – he just didn't know it yet. She _had_ to admit to her own part in the loss of Major Lorne.

"I messed up yesterday," she said in a rush. "I couldn't find a cause for Major Lorne's initial symptoms and even though he wasn't himself I dismissed my observations. Maybe I could have prevented what happened to him if I'd been more thorough." She swallowed back the tears that pressed against the back of her throat and behind her eyes. "I know Carson's gone but … if he were here, he wouldn't have ignored anything. He'd have gotten to the bottom of this and the Major would still be alive. Even before the Asuran's attacked the city I requested that Doctor Weir find a replacement for me Colonel. With this latest event on top of what happened with Elizabeth I think that request has now become urgent." She paused, looking at the ground. "I'm not cut out to be CMO here."

"Let's not do anything rash Doc," Sheppard held up a hand when Jenn went to speak. "Now isn't the time Doctor Keller," he said, a touch of the anger she'd expected in his tone. "We have a situation that needs to be resolved before the city destroys itself. Investigate what happened to Lorne to rule out a continuing threat – the last thing we need is an epidemic on top of what's already happening. When Colonel Carter returns we'll talk again."

"Okay," Jennifer agreed reluctantly, knowing she wouldn't get him to change his mind and relieve her of duty immediately like she'd hoped. Making the effort to turn her mind to business she strived for a professional tone. "Aside from Major Lorne, so far we've only had minor injuries – cuts and bruises plus a couple of concussions. The infirmary is on alert – I have three emergency teams on standby just in case another seizure hits the city."

John nodded. "Good. Radek thinks it's some kind of virus so we're trying to isolate it now. Hopefully that won't take long."

Jenn glanced at where Doctor Zelenka still worked. This was one of those times when Rodney going off world was a bad thing – not that Radek wasn't capable, but Rodney knew the systems inside and out and that knowledge could have sped up solving their current problems considerably.

"Let me know if you find anything to explain what happened to Lorne," John concluded.

Jennifer nodded, glad to be able to make her retreat back to the infirmary. When she got to the doorway she stopped, turning back to look at John.

"Colonel, I'm so sorry about Major Lorne," the sheen of tears in her eyes created a slightly blurred filter through which she imagined she could see the Colonel gathering in his own emotions. Lorne had been the man's second in command for over two years – whenever she'd witnessed them together the ease and camaraderie between them was obvious. John hadn't just lost a colleague that day; he'd lost a friend as well.

"Me too Doc," he replied, meeting her eyes. The anger was still there but she realised suddenly that it was fuelled by the situation and the senseless loss of a good man. Colonel Sheppard _wasn't_ angry at her, much as part of her wished he had been. A public dressing down would be preferable to the tight ball of self anger she was carrying inside – and so much easier to deal with.

She had to get out of there before she did something she couldn't live down. Moving quickly she left the control room, her head down as she passed people she'd normally have acknowledged. Once in her office she all but slammed the door and then dropped down into the chair, glad for the privacy the CMO's office afforded. Although she didn't feel comfortable as CMO, didn't feel that she belonged in an Ancient city in another galaxy, the infirmary was her place. She knew what she was doing there – knew how to be a doctor. At least she used to. If she lost that she'd have nothing …

Never before in all her years as a Doctor had she taken the death of a patient so hard. Of course Evan Lorne wasn't just a patient, no one was here. As a doctor on Atlantis she worked alongside people never knowing when they'd shift from acquaintances and friends to patients in need of her professional services. It made life more difficult for Jennifer because it was so hard to switch off her emotions and just do what had to be done – both in treatment and in communicating to those waiting for word.

They'd lost Carson and then Doctor Weir in quick succession and now Major Lorne too. Jenn felt the weight of those losses dragging her down. Not enough time had passed since Elizabeth, Jennifer's mistakes haunting her every day since the Asuran attack and their subsequent decision to move the city to a new planet.

There was grief and remorse and guilt … now Jenn realised there was something else there too, something the day's events had brought to light.

Oh God, how could she feel so much anger towards Elizabeth? Jennifer had almost begged for the city's previous leader to bring in someone else to be CMO but Elizabeth turned her down. Maybe there hadn't been enough time to transfer someone to Atlantis before things went so horribly wrong but they'd never know for sure. How Jennifer wished Elizabeth _had_ requested a new CMO – then maybe somebody with more experience in brain injuries would have been there to save Elizabeth. Someone who wouldn't have suggested they reactivate alien nanites to repair the damage instead. That one act had sealed Elizabeth's fate. Jennifer felt so much guilt that she'd put them all on the path that led to only one outcome – Elizabeth sacrificing herself to the replicators so John and his team could escape with a ZPM and save Atlantis. They still didn't know what happened next; deep down Jenn couldn't find any hope that Elizabeth was still alive.

That was her fault, just as today's events could be laid squarely at her door.

Leaning forward, arms wrapped across her stomach, Jennifer let go for the first time, let the grief and the anger find its voice in her tears. They coursed down her face accompanied by an audible counterpart that came from deep within her, rising up in her throat until she was almost wailing. Dropping her arms to her desk she buried her head in the space between arms and chest, crying for Elizabeth and Carson and Evan … and for herself.


	3. Disgust

**Chapter 3: ****Disgust**

"_Evermore in the world is this marvellous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats."  
>Ralph Waldo Emerson<em>

Eventually Jennifer calmed down enough to feel a little shamed at her behaviour. Some of her more recent actions were directly opposed to her moral sense of what being a doctor was supposed to be about. She'd lost her way and a part of her wanted to leave the mess she'd made behind her, to find her path again back on Earth. He father would welcome her back of course, but he'd also be disappointed in her once the reasons for her return became apparent. "_A Keller doesn't give up_," she could almost hear him saying. While it was okay to feel disappointed in herself, Jennifer had never been able to take having her Dad disappointed in her.

"A Keller doesn't give up," she murmured under her breath.

There were things to be done but Jennifer sat for a time, a numbness settling over her ... it was a knock on the door that prompted her to wipe away the evidence of her crying bout before she called out "Come in."

"Doctor Keller?" Marie looked at her boss uncertainly. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, its okay Marie," Jennifer replied, grateful for something to take her mind off her troubles. "What can I do for you?"

"Is it true?" Marie asked in a rush. "About Major Lorne?"

"Wow, news travels fast, doesn't it?"Jennifer said almost bitterly. Regretting her tone immediately, she offered Marie an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. If the rumours are that we lost Major Lorne during the last seizure then yes, it's true."

Marie put a hand to her mouth, a hand that trembled as her eyes filled with tears. Major Lorne was well liked – his death would hit everyone hard, maybe more so than at any other time because they'd all suffered too much too quickly the past few weeks. Defenses were down ... the reserves of strength needed to keep going through tragedy were low. Marie's reaction wasn't unexpected and yet Jenn felt her own control slipping again in the face of someone else's grief. The 'cry when you see someone else cry' mechanism _never_ worked in her favour.

"How did he …?" Marie trailed off, taking a visible, calming breath and returning her attention to Jennifer.

"He was thrown from the balcony in Doctor Heightmeyer's office," Jennifer tried for a business-like approach but her voice shook a little and she had to take a calming breath of her own.

"I'm sorry," Marie gave Jennifer such a sympathetic and yet knowing look that Jenn had to turn away - when you were trying to contain your emotions, someone else's sympathy was sometimes the last thing you needed. She'd wondered whether anyone would notice that she had a thing for Major Lorne – now she knew at least one person had. Marie put a hand to her shoulder, squeezing gently. "If there's anything I can do …," she offered.

"I need to review the scans I took yesterday," Jennifer replied, pushing her emotions down as best she could. "I could use a second set of eyes."

"Of course," Marie agreed immediately.

The two women moved back into the main infirmary and across to the large view screen used to look at scan results. Jennifer keyed in the request for Major Lorne's last scan.

"I'm not as accustomed to looking at these as you are Doctor," Marie said after a few moments, "but from what I do know, these results look normal."

"They do," Jennifer frowned, the puzzle deepening. "Hormone levels are all normal … neural activity too," she murmured, working her way through each section. "The only thing that stands out even a little is activity in the amygdala and that's only slightly elevated."

"You were expecting to find something you didn't yesterday?" Marie queried.

"Well … yes," Jennifer replied, frustrated. "There had to be some kind of clue we missed. No one goes from almost non existent symptoms to seizures and bleeding from the eyes as quickly as the Major did."

"Maybe not from anything we'd see on Earth," Marie agreed, "but you have to agree that the rules don't seem to always apply here."

Jenn closed her eyes for a moment and then nodded. Marie was right – things _were_ different here. Jennifer knew that more than most people and yet she wasn't looking at this case the way she usually would. "I'm sorry Marie," she shook her head. "I'm … off my game today. Of course we should be looking at this as something potentially unique to this galaxy."

"It's understandable," Marie excused the need for Jenn to apologise. Reading between the lines Jennifer knew Marie felt she was entitled to be 'off her game' because she'd had feelings for Major Lorne. Undisclosed though they were, in Marie's eyes obviously that still counted. "Are you all right?" Marie looked at Jenn, her concern obvious.

"I'm fine," Jennifer said with a reassuring smile she couldn't quite pull off. "Don't worry Marie – everything will be okay, once we get past this current crisis." With a concerted effort she dug for some of the positivity she was used to applying to her work and life. Her staff expected the CMO to have the answers or at the very least a course of action that would lead to finding them. And for the time being she _was_ CMO – she owed it to Carson to do her best, not to give herself more reasons to be disgusted with her performance.

"Forgive me for saying this Doctor," Marie began, "but you look like you could use a break. Doctor Cole and I could hold down the fort without you for a few minutes – give you the chance to go and grab coffee."

Jennifer smiled, genuinely touched. "Thank you Marie. I think I'll take you up on that offer – just a couple of minutes though. Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Zelenka are working on finding a solution to the problems with the city but for now it's still unstable – another seizure could hit at any time."

Touching a grateful hand to Marie's arm, Jenn walked quickly to the nearest transporter, exiting just outside the Mess. What was it her Dad used to say? Act the part until you didn't have to act anymore. Of course, he'd been talking about her early entry to college, but the same principle could apply here, at least until she was replaced by the new CMO.

With a sigh she grabbed coffee to go, moving just as quickly back towards the transporter. She wanted someone else to be in charge of the infirmary but at the same time she didn't want to be sent back to Earth. Atlantis was … amazing. What she could learn here – what she'd _already_ learned – was more valuable than what she'd achieve in years back home. It came with dangers so extreme she still struggled to get her head around them, but that seemed the nature of most things. She got to live in a city created thousands of years ago by a race so advanced they'd left behind the need for corporeal form – but to do that, to live there, she had to put up with being relegated to food source for vampiric aliens and a target for Replicators. She knew from personal experience that gifts came with cost. Being as smart as she was wasn't something she'd ever give back, even though it meant she'd skipped grades and never really fit, being so many years younger than everyone around her.

Pressing the button for the infirmary level, Jennifer leaned back, riding the flash of light that passed too quickly to really register. The doors slide open and she was stepping out just as another seizure hit the city. Stumbling as the floor went from flat to a steep incline Jennifer put a hand to the nearest wall, using it to steady herself as she hurried to the infirmary.

The alarms were sounding, the pitch cutting through every other noise. The floor bucked again just as she cleared the doorway, the intercom clicking loudly before the standard message about staying calm and keeping to quarters unless on duty played twice.

"Prepare for injured personnel," Jennifer ordered briskly, putting her coffee to one side to be forgotten. She gave additional orders for the emergency teams to grab their gear and get ready to be sent out. Just as the first was ready to go a call came through for assistance in the science labs. One of the staff there hadn't gotten out of the way of a falling cabinet fast enough, ending up pinned beneath it.

The next few minutes passed quickly as Jennifer led her staff in responding to more calls for help. The city continued to pitch and shake – Jenn wasn't the only one to end up on the floor more than once, nor to acquire new bruises from hitting near-by furniture, bruises that would be ignored until new calls to the infirmary stopped. They were backed up with people waiting to be seen before Colonel Sheppard radioed her.

"How are we doing down there Doc?" he asked briskly.

"We're busy Colonel," Jennifer replied, "but nothing we can't handle. All but the most serious cases are being queued to be seen as soon as possible – both here and throughout the city. The emergency teams are stretched pretty thin but we'll get to everyone. Luckily we haven't had anything life threatening to deal with so far."

"Sounds like you have it under control," Sheppard commented.

Jennifer smiled slightly - during the crisis she _had_ felt in control ... she just wished she could feel that way all the time.

"Listen," John continued. "We're about to try something – it should kill the tremors but there might be an initial increase in instability."

"So we should get ready for an influx of additional patients?" Jennifer queried, frowning. They were close to capacity – she'd have to expand outside the infirmary if numbers increased too dramatically.

"I hope not Doc," John replied. "We're warning everyone to hold on to something – I'm just giving you a heads up first."

"Well, thank you for that Colonel," Jennifer nodded to Marie's motioning for her to look at a patient personally. "I'll let you know if we need more help down here."

"No problem Doc," Sheppard signed off.

Less than a minute later the city wide intercom sounded the warning. Jennifer walked through the infirmary swiftly, making sure everyone was secured as best they could be.

The tremors did increase and then there was a screeching sound, like screaming, that came from all around them, lasting until her ears began to ache. Abruptly it went silent … not just the screaming and shaking, and the sounds of people distressed or scared; _everything_ stopped. The lights, the infirmary systems, everything was dead.

"Doctor Keller to the control room," Jennifer used the comm system to try and make contact. There wasn't even static to indicate that someone was listening – that system seemed to be dead too.

"Okay everyone, please stay where you are," she called out. They had enough light from the windows for everyone to at least know where they stood. "Emergency power should kick in within a few minutes. Don't worry – we'll have you all safely back to your quarters in no time."

Low murmurs of conversation picked up again. Jennifer smiled with relief when her words proved true, the emergency power generators used exclusively for the infirmary and other key areas coming on line only moments later.

Activity kept at a steady pace after that – Jenn lost track of how long it had been since main power went down, fully engaged in getting everyone assessed and treated with expediency.

"Ma'am?"

Glancing up, Jennifer recognised the marine addressing her in a low tone, mostly because he was often assigned to guard duty for the infirmary.

"Private Baker," she greeted him with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Colonel Sheppard needs you up in the control room Ma'am," Baker said quietly. "I've just come from there," he added when she looked confused at getting a message when all the systems were down. "I'll take you up there now Ma'am."

"Of course," Jennifer nodded. "Just let me tell my staff."

Speaking to Amanda Cole, she left the other doctor in charge until her return. Following Private Baker through the city was a very strange experience – they had to take the long way because all the systems were down and Jennifer was suddenly glad the infirmary was located in the same section as the control room.

Everything felt lifeless, deserted, and it was unnaturally quiet. Usually she could hear the city itself – the hum of machinery and the varied noises of people going about their business. Now all she could hear was the distant sound of the waves lapping at the piers outside the windows they passed.

"Did Colonel Sheppard tell you why he needed me?" Jenn asked curiously.

"No Ma'am," Baker replied. "He just said they had a potential medical situation on it's way up there and he'd prefer to have you on hand."

"Oh," Jennifer frowned, wondering what Colonel Sheppard was expecting to happen.

Baker led her up the stairs towards Colonel Carter's office, directly across from the control room. When they got to the door the tense situation was immediately apparent. Colonel Sheppard was standing at the front of the on-duty staff, all grouped together away from their stations. He held his hands out in a 'no threat' posture.

What grabbed Jennifer's attention, what had her heart racing and a strange humming sounding in her ears was who he was confronting.

There, holding Captain Kennedy in a neck lock with a gun to the young man's head, covered in what looked like paint and blood, was Major Evan Lorne.

**Authors Note:**

Of course I wouldn't kill Lorne! *grins* ... next chapter will see some events from his POV. Thanks for reading ...


	4. Surprise

**Chapter 4: Surprise**

"_Oh that it were possible, after long grief and pain, to find the arms of my true love, around me once again."  
>Alfred, Lord Tennyson<em>

"_Oh my God_," Jennifer whispered, a hand raised to her mouth, her eyes locked on the scene before her.

"Colonel, trust me, this is the only way to save Atlantis. It's _not_ a computer virus, it's a child," Lorne was almost pleading, his usually calm voice full of emotion. "Colonel, it's a _child_, and it's _dying_."

Sheppard was assessing Lorne carefully, nothing in his demeanour suggesting what his next action was going to be.

"I'm almost ready to …," Doctor Zelenka broke in uncertainly. He'd been tapping away at his laptop and seemed to be the only person Lorne had allowed to remain at his station. Kate was there too, standing with Colonel Sheppard, her expression full of concern.

Lorne reacted instantly, throwing his hostage to one side as he leapt forward, slamming his hand down on Radek's laptop keyboard.

Jennifer staggered back, her head suddenly throbbing with a migraine that came out of nowhere. There was a buzzing in her ears, like static from a radio playing in the background, and her vision was blurry enough that she had to put a hand out to keep her footing. She was vaguely aware that everyone was reacting in a similar fashion, many holding their heads as though in severe pain.

And then abruptly it all stopped, just as the power surged back throughout the city, everything coming back on line at once. Her eyes went straight to where Major Lorne had been standing but he was no longer there. What had he meant - it was a child? _What_ was a child?

Many of those present still looked disorientated and all at once Jenn's 'doctor' side surged to the fore and she moved forward quickly, approaching the nearest person to assess them. At first she feared the problems with the city had escalated to affecting it's inhabitants, but after a few minutes, when everything felt more stable than it had in over a day, Jenn began to hope their problems were over.

Colonel Sheppard recovered before most of the others – in the periphery of her vision Jennifer saw him head for the balcony with a team of marine's behind him. Moments later Major Lorne appeared just as she'd begun to wonder if she'd imagined the scene she'd walked in on. Sheppard walked beside him with the marines at his back.

Relief surged through Jennifer again. It was real … Lorne was _alive_, although she couldn't imagine how it was possible.

As he got closer Jennifer could see that Lorne had been through a difficult experience. Smears of paint covered much of his clothing, dotting his forearms and hands and even his hair. His face showed the signs of an almost violent battle with paint and canvas but that wasn't the worst of it. The dark red of dried blood circled both his eyes, smeared down his cheeks and chin as though he'd had time only to wipe it away with a quick hand. There was blood down the sides of his neck from his ears too, with more here and there in his hair. His eyes were bloodshot and beneath the colours of paint and blood he was pale and feverish, his whole body trembling as he tried to hold himself together for a bit longer. He looked … horrific.

"Doc," Sheppard stopped, putting a hand to her elbow to pull her aside. "My men will escort Major Lorne to the infirmary. I'll need a full assessment of his condition so we can work out what the hell to do with him now."

Jennifer nodded, realising that the Major was probably in a lot of trouble. He'd held his CO and a room full of staff at gun point, taken a hostage and threatened to kill him, disobeyed orders and sent unauthorised transmissions, potentially crippling their chances of remaining hidden on their new planet. Then there was the surprising detail that he was alive but hadn't reported that fact to anyone. The only positive was that it seemed whatever he'd done _had_ fixed Atlantis ... how much would that count in his favour?

"I can't believe he survived that fall," she murmured, watching as Lorne led his 'guard' away down the corridor towards the infirmary.

"I'm sure he has quite the story to tell us," John replied. "Go," he urged when Jennifer hesitated. "Look after your patient."

Smiling quickly, Jenn hurried after Lorne, striding through the infirmary doors just in time to see Evan slump to the ground, too fast for the marines who'd escorted him there to catch him.

"_Major_," Jennifer rushed forward, motioning for two orderlies to get Evan to the nearest bed. Feeling for a pulse and finding it there, strong if a little too rapid for her liking, Jenn decided she really needed to talk to the Major about all these ups and downs. First he was dead, then not, and now he'd collapsed in her infirmary – probably from exhaustion and whatever it was that had caused the behaviours and symptoms he'd exhibited the past couple of days. She wasn't making any diagnosis without running every test she could think of first.

"Let's get him under the scanner," Jenn glanced to Marie who's moved to stand beside her. The orderlies assisted again until Lorne was arranged on the examination bed under the ancient equipment. He was so still, unnaturally so. The Major wasn't one for unnecessary movement – he could do the military statue routine with the best of them – but there was always some spark of something there; amusement, calculation, or just an indefinable hint at his underlying personality. That's what was missing now.

Starting the machine Jennifer watched the view screen closely. "Some of these hormone readings are off the scales," she commented, eyes narrowed, "his brain activity too. With the strain this put on him it's no wonder he suffered spontaneous bleeding." She looked across to Marie. "Let's get the blood work done and then try and clean him up as best we can."

They had Lorne in a proper infirmary bed, most of the blood and paint removed, when Colonel Sheppard came to check up on him.

"How is he Doc?" John asked, standing at the foot of the bed where his second-in-command lay, still unconscious.

"Lucky not to have suffered permanent damage," Jennifer replied. "It's going to take a few days for his hormone levels to return to normal and he'll probably have quite the headache when he wakes up, but eventually he'll be as good as new." She looked at Evan and then back to John. "I can tell you the what Colonel, but there is nothing here that's going to tell us the why. For that you'll need to speak to the Major."

"Does he need to be here?" Sheppard queried.

Jenn frowned. "Until he wakes up, yes. I'd like to keep him under observation overnight as well - just to make sure he doesn't suffer any unexpected side effects from what he's been through."

"Okay, good," John nodded. "Colonel Carter and McKay just got back – once he's fit enough she wants Lorne confined to his quarters until we can get to the bottom of this."

"You're _arresting_ him?" Jennifer asked incredulously. "You can't do that!"

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger Doc," he protested, holding up his hands. "Colonel Carter is bringing in a psychiatrist from the SGC. He'll talk to everyone he needs to, including Lorne. Once he's confirmed independently that the Major was under the influence of that alien … thing; once we're _sure_ Lorne is fully in control of himself again, he'll be released."

"Of course, sorry," Jenn said somewhat sheepishly. "With everything that goes on around here I was just surprised Major Lorne's case was being treated so harshly."

"We're on a new planet here – we can't afford to take the risk that something we do alerts the Replicators to our position," John explained. "Lorne sent a message back to Lantia – we need to make sure he's not compromised." He smirked as he looked at Jenn. "I'm sure the Major would appreciate you jumping to his defense though, Doc."

Feeling the heat creeping up her neck, Jennifer turned away, busying herself straightening the bedcovers while she pretended she wasn't embarrassed.

"Let me know when Lorne wakes up," Sheppard said more seriously. "I'll need to leave the guards here but they won't get in your way. They'll escort the Major to his quarters once you release him."

"Okay," Jennifer nodded, watching John walk away. Turning back to Lorne she put a hand over where his rested on the bed. "Don't wake up too soon Major," she murmured.

* * *

><p>Lorne must have heard her, even subconsciously, because it was early the next morning before he surfaced from the black pit he'd been floating in.<p>

"Arg," he groaned, clenching a hand to his aching head and quickly shutting his eyes again.

"Major?"

Looking up he saw Doctor Keller approaching, her expression guarded.

"How are you feeling Major?" she asked, moving to check his pulse. Taking out a small pen light she shone it into his eyes, checking his pupil response.

"Truthfully, still a little strange," he admitted. "What happened?"

"You made it here under your own steam and then you collapsed," Doctor Keller told him, her tone notably brisk and impersonal. "Your hormone levels were affected by whatever caused this Major – it will take a few days for them to return to normal. Aside from that, and the headache you're currently experiencing, you appear to be uninjured. In fact, I can't find anything that explains any of the symptoms you exhibited – nor any residual effects, aside from the hormones."

"I collapsed?" Lorne frowned. "I don't remember that."

"I'm not surprised - you were exhausted Major," Keller glanced at him and then away. "I saw you fall from that balcony … I don't understand how …"

"How I survived?" Lorne finished. "I'm not sure I understand it either Doc. I was falling and then I was sliding, down the tower until I landed on a different balcony. It was lucky the city pitched when it did or I don't think I'd be here to talk about it."

"Luck," Keller repeated, frowning.

Yeah, okay, maybe for a Doctor, that wasn't a particularly useful answer, but he didn't have another, not yet. "How long do I need to stay here?" he asked, changing the subject before she could question him further. Not that he was in a hurry to find out just how much trouble he was in, but hanging round in bed when he didn't need to be there wasn't his style either. Plus he needed some time to sort out in his own mind the events of the past couple of days, _before_ he had to recant them for anyone else.

"There's no reason you can't be released right now Major, as long as you promise to take it easy, and to let us know if you suffer any new symptoms or an escalation in your existing condition."

"Thanks Doc," Evan smiled. "I can do that."

"I'll need to inform Colonel Sheppard that you're awake Major," Keller said, her stiff manner dropping enough for him to see that the nervousness he usually associated with her was still there, under the surface. "There are some fresh clothes you can wear in the cabinet beside you, if you'd like to get dressed." She made a few notations in his chart and then gave him a quick, unreadable glance, before walking away.

He shouldn't have been surprised when the marines standing guard approached him only moments after he'd finished dressing.

"Sir," one of them said respectfully. "We have orders from Colonel Sheppard to escort you to your quarters and then remain there until further notice."

"Right, sure, of course you do," Lorne said ruefully. Great, he was under arrest. This just kept getting better and better! He'd held his own CO at gun point – what else could he have expected? He was lucky they weren't taking him to the brig.

Since he wasn't going to be reduced to having them drag him away, Evan took control. Nodding to Doctor Keller, he led the way from the infirmary to his quarters. They passed a few people as they walked and from the looks he was getting he knew there'd been _a lot_ of talk about him while he'd been in the infirmary.

"I trust you don't need to come in?" he queried his escort once they were at his door.

"No Sir," the same marine said. "We'll stand guard out here."

Taking a moment to compose himself, Lorne swiped his door open and went inside. Even with the situation it was hard, knowing leaving his room was no longer something he could dictate for himself. He'd been out of control for days and still felt the edges of it, still felt that change of perception forced on him by the alien entity that'd started this whole mess. He wouldn't say he'd been taken over as such, but the entity - a baby city creature who'd lain dormant within the structure of the city for thousands of years - had altered him, if only temporarily. The baby, awakening to find it's parent gone, had searched for a way to communicate it's predicament, and for some reason it had chosen him. Through the series of paintings he'd created during successive black outs, and his heightened perceptions he'd been able to piece together his impressions and work out what it needed. It was aware but couldn't be truly born without assistance from one of it's own kind. It's parent - searching for it's child where she'd stored it safely during the height of a civil war on their home planet - had returned to old Lantia to find it gone. Lorne's message - pictures of the paintings - had been enough to let it know it's baby was aware and in need. The reunion had been instant - mother taking it's child from within the city and returning them both it's own realm. Atlantis had returned to normal and he guessed he had too - or he would eventually.

His quarters were a disaster zone – canvasses stacked in piles anywhere they'd fit, paints discarded on the floor. The paint on the walls and ceiling served as quite the reminder of just how not himself he'd been. His bed was unmade, his clothes strewn across a chair, the rest of his stuff out of place too. It looked like somebody else's room. With a sigh, he moved forward to begin cleaning up. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

* * *

><p>"Doctor David Glennie," the man introduced himself, his English accent placing his origins back on Earth.<p>

"Doctor," Jennifer shook the man's proffered hand before waving him to her visitor's chair.

"Thank you," Glennie looked around curiously. "I must say, you have an impressive set up here Doctor Keller."

"We try," Jennifer smiled. "You'll want me to tell you about Major Lorne?"

"Ah, down to business, of course," Glennie smiled. "I've already spoken to Doctor Heightmeyer. She indicated that you examined Major Lorne only a short time after his first 'incident'. Perhaps you could tell me about that."

Jennifer nodded; with professional, business-like efficiency she began, sparing neither Evan nor herself in the tale. She still didn't think she should be CMO … still wondered if she even belonged on Atlantis at all, but those personal concerns had to be put aside. She had a duty to discharge and she'd do it to the best of her abilities.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>

Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter - apologies I haven't done replies yet. Hope you enjoy the chapter :)


	5. Trust

**Chapter 5: Trust**

"_To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."  
>George MacDonald<em>

"How're you doing?" Sheppard asked, glancing around Lorne's quarters curiously before returning his attention to his 2IC. It was the first time he's seen Lorne awake since he'd been confined to quarters. Once he'd been released from the infirmary Colonel Carter had been strict on the Major talking only to Doctor Glennie first, before anyone else got to see him. His interview with the psychiatrist, along with all the other interviews the visiting Doctor had conducted, was finally done and Sheppard was hopeful things could return to normal.

Lorne shrugged. "Still feel a little disconnected Sir," he admitted. "Not quite myself. Doctor Glennie thinks that'll fade when everything else returns to normal."

John nodded. "Well … way to not be dead Major," he quipped.

Lorne laughed. "Thank you Sir." The two men had served together long enough for Evan to translate that to mean that his CO had been troubled over his apparent demise and glad to find the rumours of his death exaggerated. Evan knew Sheppard trusted him … during his sessions with the psychiatrist Glennie read out what John thought of his being confined to quarters. "_Lorne was just taken over by an alien thingie. Happens all the time. Let him go already._"

In the control room, when Lorne had the gun on Kennedy, maybe he'd wondered if that was true – if his CO _did_ trust him, but that had been fuelled by out of control hormones, something Sheppard knew because Doctor Keller had already informed the Colonel on the events in Kate Heightmeyer's office. Lorne had begged for trust but under the circumstances, with the city incapacitated and sinking, rationally he knew it had been too big an ask.

"Nice mural," John nodded his head up towards the ceiling, where the abstract mess of colour and scratch patterns still existed.

"Don't you mean crazy, Sir?" Lorne replied ruefully.

John frowned, eyes still fixed on the mural. "What's it supposed to be?"

"See that scratch pattern in the centre of it?" Lorne queried, getting the Colonel to stare at if for a few moments. "What do you feel, Sir?" he asked.

"Kind of ... awkward," Sheppard replied, frowning. Colonel Carter and Doctor Heightmeyer had both see the mural, Doctor Glennie too - all of them giving the same answer as John. "Is that what it's supposed to be?"

"I don't think it's any one thing Sir," Evan tried to explain. "Just a few squares in a much bigger mosaic."

"Then I'm even more impressed you managed to make sense of anything while you were ...," he trailed off, looking for the right term.

"Unwell?" Lorne supplied.

"Right," Sheppard nodded. "I read Glennie's report. You saved that … what are we calling these things?"

"Multi dimensional city creatures?" Lorne suggested.

"Really?" John grimaced. "Well, whatever they were, you saved one of them, and Atlantis in the process. Nice work Lorne."

"I'd like to take credit Sir but I think that was more due to _it_ than me," Evan admitted modestly.

"Yeah, but you were the interpreter – everything you did was necessary," Sheppard continued. "That was Doctor Glennie's assessment and Colonel Carter agrees. As of ten minutes ago you're back to being a free man."

"That's good news Sir," Lorne said mildly. Internally he let the tension of not knowing what came next drop away … he _wanted_ to get back to work and in all honesty was beyond tired of being in his quarters.

"You need to talk to Doctor Keller," John shifted the conversation abruptly.

Lorne grimaced. After his extended interview with the psychiatrist he felt more than a little guilty over how he'd behaved towards the CMO. Sure, she seemed nervous the handful of times he'd been in a position to observe her, but she'd taken over from someone killed in the line of duty, with no warning and no desire to step up to that role. _Anyone_ would be nervous under those conditions – he shouldn't have questioned her medical abilities because of it. No wonder she'd been so impersonal with him when he'd woken up in the infirmary!

"I see you know what I'm talking about," Sheppard commented.

"Ah, yeah, kind of," Lorne admitted. "I wasn't as up front with her as I should have been."

"Well, we'll put that down to being taken over by aliens and let it go this time," John returned. "As long as you apologise to Keller." His expression turned serious as he continued. "She wants to be replaced as CMO – thinks the role is too much for her." He shot Lorne a partial glare. "Your case seems to be the nail in the coffin as far as that attitude goes."

"And you want me to fix it," Lorne concluded.

"She's a great doctor Major," John said firmly, "and a natural leader. We need her here. Given time she'll see that for herself."

"I'll talk to her Sir," Lorne promised.

"Good," John grinned. "She'll be here to check you over in a few minutes. Now that you've been cleared of all charges Colonel Carter lifted the ban on anyone visiting you." He smirked. "Don't pout Major. Keller signing off on your medical status is the last tick in the box you need to return to duty."

Lorne nodded, his expression still reluctant.

"Better get your story straight," John added as the door chime sounded. "Don't let me down."

"No Sir."

Lorne watched as John waved the door open for Doctor Keller himself. "Doc," he greeted her pleasantly. "Your patient awaits."

Jennifer looked at Evan before offering the Colonel a small smile. "This won't take long," she said. "I'll send the report through to you as soon as I'm done here."

"No hurry Doc," John returned, giving Lorne a pointed glance with eyebrow raised. Evan nodded – he knew what he had to do.

Jennifer watched Sheppard leave before she turned back to Evan. "This really won't take long," she repeated. "I'm just going to take the same scans as previously for comparison as well as some blood for testing."

"That's fine Doc," Evan said, trying to put as much reassurance and respect into his voice as he could muster. That raised a startled look from the Doc that almost had him cringing. Just how much of an ass had he been with Keller in the past? "Where do you want me?"

"You can stay where you are Major," Jennifer moved across to the sofa where he was sitting, placing her bag on the nearby table before beginning her examination.

She went about her business quickly and competently but Lorne could tell she was uncomfortable, not that he blamed her. When it looked like she was going to complete her tasks without uttering another word he knew he had to man up.

"Ah, before you go Doctor Keller, there's ah, something I need to say," he began.

"If you're going to apologise for your conduct while under the influence of an alien presence, it isn't necessary," Jennifer said quickly.

"I _was_ going to apologise and it _is_ necessary," Evan said firmly. "Look, can you just sit with me for a few minutes, please?"

Jennifer hesitated and then gave him a small nod, packing her medical bag and moving to sit on the sofa across from him.

"I wasn't up front with you when I asked you to examine me," Lorne explained. "And I wasn't so far gone that I didn't know at the time that it was wrong of me. I'm sorry for that and for not trusting you as I should have."

"Did Colonel Sheppard put you up to this?" Jennifer's voice was full of suspicion.

Deciding honesty was the only option if he was going to win back any kind of regard from Jennifer, Lorne nodded. "He did ask me to speak to you Doc, but he didn't need to. I was going to do that anyway."

She nodded. "Okay then … apology accepted." She stood, intent on that being the end of their chat, but Lorne wasn't convinced he'd achieved anything.

"Wait," he rose too, his action halting her retreat. "That's not all. Colonel Sheppard mentioned you'd put in a request for a replacement. I'd feel bad if that was because of my behaviour."

"It wasn't," Keller met his eyes then and he winced because even though he didn't know her very well he could see how upset she was. "I didn't do my job thoroughly enough and as a consequence you ended up flung off a balcony. It's only random luck that you're standing there to talk about it." She took a deep steadying breath. "I'd already spoken to Doctor Weir about finding a permanent solution for replacing Carson – I never wanted to take on the role as more than a temporary fix." She turned away again.

"Now wait a second!" Evan grabbed her wrist, gently but with enough intent that she turned back to him. "You did your job as thoroughly as you could have. It was easy for me to blame you for not insisting on more testing Doc, but I think we both know there was no way I was letting you keep me there. I came to you because I had to, not because I was looking for an answer to what happened to me. That puts me firmly in the wrong."

"It does," Jennifer surprised him by agreeing, and he laughed.

"So tell me off, put a note in my file, slap me, do whatever you need," he insisted, squeezing her wrist encouragingly before letting her go. "Just don't quit. Colonel Sheppard thinks very highly of you Doc and I can tell you that should mean a lot. He's a good judge of character and he doesn't say anything he doesn't mean. We've had a rough couple of weeks. Just … give yourself time to see if the role fits before you throw it away."

Jennifer was silent for a few moments and he hoped like hell it was because she was seriously considering his words. When she looked up with a small smile he felt a measure of relief. "Slap you?" she queried, amused.

"Ah, sure, yeah, if that's what it takes," Lorne agreed. "Give it your best shot Doc."

"I think I'd prefer to take my revenge on my own turf," she returned, her expression turning calculating. "Maybe a note in your file for the staff to use the really big needles during your next check-up."

"How big are we talking here Doc?" Lorne asked, hoping he was reading her right in that she was teasing him to get some of her own back.

"How big would they need to be to scare you Major?" she shot back, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, that's a lose-lose," he retorted. "Either I say nothing scares me and end up with the biggest needles you can lay your hands on, or I take the hit to my ego by admitting I hate needles. No fair Doc," he complained teasingly.

She laughed, just as he'd intended, and he realised this was probably the first time he'd seen her relaxed enough to be herself around him. "So … we're all good here?" he asked more seriously.

"I'll stick around for a while," Jennifer replied, "see how things improve. That's the best I can promise right now."

"Good enough," Evan smiled. "Thanks for listening Doc."

"You're welcome," Jennifer smiled back and the moment became one of those out of time moments where you're looking at someone and they're looking at you and at first neither of you is aware that what you're really doing is staring. Just as it got to the awkward stage Jennifer looked away, her eyes landing on the canvasses he'd tried to tidy up. "Are these the paintings?" she asked.

"Yeah," he waved a hand at them casually. "It's okay if you want to look at them, although I don't think I can take credit for creating them since I wasn't in my right mind at the time and I have no memory of the event. These definitely aren't my normal style."

"I don't really know anything about art to be able to tell one style from the next," Jennifer admitted, slowing shifting through the paintings one at a time. "These are striking Major … you're very talented."

"Well, thank you Ma'am," Evan smiled. "I've only just gotten back into painting – my little foray into alien possession used up about a years' worth of supplies. Getting more shipped in isn't likely any time soon so it'll be a while before I can create anything that _is_ my style."

"What are you going to do with these?" Jennifer asked curiously, finishing her inspection and turning back to him. Before he could answer her eyes were drawn to the mural above his bed and she moved forward instinctively. "You painted that too?" she queried distractedly.

"Ah, yeah, I guess," Lorne replied, watching her become as transfixed with it as Colonel Sheppard had. Curious, he asked her to do the same thing he'd asked his CO. "See that weird scratch pattern at the centre of it?" he asked in a quiet tone. She nodded, her eyes locked on the images above her. "Look at it closely, really, really closely," he instructed. "Now relax. Clear your mind and focus on it to the exclusion of everything else. Just let it _wash_ over you."

He watched as she did what he asked, saw how her expression shifted from intrigued to frowning. "Now … what do you feel?" he asked, expecting her to say 'awkward' too.

"I feel sad," she admitted instead, her eyes still on the mural even though her neck must have been getting sore from all the looking up.

Now he was intrigued. "Why?" he asked, moving closer, still watching her face.

"It feels so … lonely," she glanced at him before looking up again. "Lonely because you're so far from home you can't just jump on a plane or in a cab and go back there. Lonely like there's no one else in existence but you." She laughed suddenly, giving him a rueful look. "That sounds fanciful, doesn't it?"

"Ah, no, not really," he knew he was staring at her now and he saw the blush that rose to the surface at his continued regard.

"What did you feel when you looked at it?" she asked.

"Loneliness," he looked up at the mural himself, his tone low and serious. "Deep, aching, _awful_ loneliness."

"Oh," Jennifer smiled weakly. "So that's what I was supposed to feel? Lonely?"

"That's what the entity wanted _me_ to feel," Evan offered. "Part of the pattern of impressions that led to me working out what was really going on with the city."

"But you seemed surprised at my answer."

"A few people have looked at that thing the past couple of days Doc," he hesitated before he finished what he felt needed to be said. "You're the only one who saw what I did. Everyone else just felt awkward."

"Oh," Jennifer blushed again.

"Doctor Glennie thinks the alien chose me because of how I see the city - as more than just a collection of buildings or a place to live," Lorne offered. "Maybe you do belong here after all Doc," he suggested kindly.

"Maybe," she smiled now, the kind of smile that reached all the way down inside, that couldn't help but raise an answering smile from him. "I should go, let you rest," she said softly. She grabbed her medical bag and headed for the door. "I'll run the comparison on your scans when I get back to my office Major – give you the verdict as soon as I know it. The good news is, if we need to run a final set of tests you'll be able to come to the infirmary."

"Thanks Doc," Lorne watched her leave before moving to his bed and stretching out on his back so he could look up at the mural. He'd have to clean it off as some stage, although how he was going to get the acrylic paint he'd used - fast drying and hard as nails afterwards- off without damaging the ceiling was a mystery he hadn't solved. Maybe he'd order some undercoat, paint over it instead.

It was interesting though, how Doctor Keller had seen what no one else had. He found himself wondering why that was. He'd had his brain altered to help him perceive the messages he was being sent – and he was accustomed to looking at art for the emotions it evoked. The Doc didn't have that background and yet she'd felt the loneliness of an alien entity so cut off from what it knew that it had almost destroyed the city in an effort to get help. At first he couldn't get his head around why that would be the case. But then he started to think about his first impressions of Jennifer Keller – the ones he'd formed in the past few days since a baby alien city thing had chosen him to be its saviour. People died and others necessarily stepped up to take their place – the base couldn't function if that wasn't the case. Most people understood that but it didn't mean the initial takeover period wasn't awkward. He'd been in command positions long enough to know you had to cut everyone a little slack while providing additional support to the newcomer. But did the civilians do the same? Had they isolated Keller because they grieved so much for Carson?

Had he?

It was humbling for him to think that probably he had. He'd left nowhere for Doctor Keller to go in his eyes.

Was the answer as simple as that she was lonely herself – she saw the truth in the mural because she empathised? He felt troubled by that conclusion; felt that it was wrong for _anyone_ in the city to feel that way.

Deciding abruptly that he wanted to get to know Doctor Jennifer Keller better, Evan turned over and buried his head in his pillow. He was tired and his head still ached a bit from what he'd gone through, but he wanted to get out and stretch his legs now that he could. Forcing himself to sit up again, Lorne grabbed his shoes, quickly putting them on before swiping his door open. The absence of guards out in the corridor was a blessed relief ... moving into a brisk stroll, half smile just touching his lips, Evan had to admit to himself that it was a _huge_ relief to be free.


	6. Anticipation

**Chapter 6: Anticipation**

"_A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation;  
>therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future."<br>Oliver Goldsmith_

After comparing Major Lorne's test results with those she'd taken previously, Jennifer was relieved to be able to report to both he and Colonel Sheppard that his hormone levels were essentially back to normal. He'd suffered no permanent damage from his ordeal, a fact that still astounded Jennifer.

Putting the finishing touches on her report, she sent it to Colonel Carter. Since she'd been very frank in that report and she also expected that Colonel Sheppard would have spoken to the city's leader too, Jenn wasn't surprised to get a request from Sam a few days later for a meeting.

"Colonel Cater," Jennifer greeted the older woman and moved to sit down when invited to do so. They were sitting in the sofa like chairs around the same small table Elizabeth had used, and that made it feel more like a conversation and less like a review of her performance.

"So, it sounds like you had an interesting couple of days," Sam jumped straight in as soon as Jenn was settled.

"I'm not sure Colonel Sheppard, or Major Lorne would describe it quite like that," Jenn said ruefully.

"Well, I read your report Doctor and I've spoken with Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne," Sam continued. Jennifer felt suddenly embarrassed. What had Major Lorne said about her? Or maybe it would be better not to know.

"They're both in agreement, and I concur, that the conduct of all medical staff involved during the incident was as good as can be expected when anything like this happens," the Colonel smiled. "Now, I know you've requested we bring someone in to replace you as Chief Medical Officer, but I'll be honest Doctor Keller. I'd much rather we find a way to assist you in continuing in that role. What can I do to help?"

It wasn't what Jenn expected and she immediately felt on the spot. "I don't know," she replied honestly. "I really don't think there's any one thing that would make a difference. I guess I just don't feel qualified to take over from Carson – he knew so much. I don't think anyone could replace him."

"That may be true but we're not asking you to replace him," Sam said gently. "We're asking you to be CMO Doctor Keller. I know from my own personal experience how easy it is to forget how little you knew when you first started a new position – until you get reminded like I have in coming here. It's difficult being the new kid."

Jennifer nodded, understanding that of course Colonel Carter would need to adjust to Atlantis too. She was coming from a position of full knowledge to one where she was the new girl on the block … very much like Jennifer herself, although the CMO role was much smaller than being the leader of the whole expedition.

"You must think me so pathetic to be making a fuss like this," Jenn realised with dismay. "You're doing the same - taking over from someone much loved who isn't here anymore – only on a much larger scale."

"Not at all Doctor Keller," Sam denied insistently. "I think you're in a unique position to understand the difficulties we face … just as I am in understanding your current situation." She let that sink in for a moment and then continued. "Since there's nothing specific that would make things easier right now, can I suggest we both give ourselves time to grow into these roles we find ourselves in?"

"Um, okay," Jenn agreed uncertainly, not sure what she was actually agreeing to.

"Shall we say six months?" Sam suggested, "With no talk of being replaced before then."

"Six months?" Jennifer repeated weakly.

"You think you'll need longer to find your feet?" Carter asked like it would be perfectly reasonable if that were the case.

"Ah, no, I was actually hoping for less," Jenn admitted.

"I don't think anything less than six months would be fair, to anyone," Sam gave Jennifer a "up and at 'em" kind of smile. "Those who know you have every confidence you'll do well as CMO Doctor Keller – in time everyone, including you, will agree."

"I hope so," Jennifer murmured, not convinced.

"Well, I'm glad we had this chance to chat," Sam stood, signalling Jennifer to do the same. "I hope you know you can come and talk to me whenever you like – about anything."

"I -," Jennifer took a deep breath, "thank you Colonel." If Colonel Carter could anticipate a time when Jennifer would feel she'd made the right call taking over from Carson, then she'd try her best to do the same.

Carter smiled again. "You're welcome Doctor."

* * *

><p>Of course, just because she'd agreed to give herself six months to grow into being in charge of the medical department didn't mean she could snap instantly into a different mindset. She had a lot to learn and it showed … a fact she was always too aware of. Over the following few days she had to constantly remind herself to think positively, a task made all the more difficult after she heard two staff members talking. It was late night in the Mess Hall and she'd decided to sit in an out of the way corner for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Not wanting to draw attention to her presence by moving to see who they were, she was forced to listen in silence.<p>

"She doesn't know half of what he knew," one of the two seemed to be complaining.

"I know – I don't know how she got the job, although I hear it's because no one else wants it," the other replied.

"Understandable – working here can be lethal. Our recent track record is appalling." That sounded almost pleased – as though the recent failures proved some kind of point Jennifer wasn't privy too. Who _were_ these people? If it wouldn't be completely humiliating to be caught listening, Jenn would have risked leaning out from her hidden position to find out.

"Wonder who'll be next when she gives up and leaves too?" the second queried, as the two moved out of earshot.

She'd always heard that eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves and now Jennifer had first hand knowledge of that, because of course they _had_ to be talking about her, even though no names were mentioned. Whoever they were, they didn't think she was up to the job either – who could blame them when she thought the same thing herself? She almost didn't mind that – what really cut deep were the comments about her knowledge – they left Jennifer feeling deflated and alone.

Was that was everyone thought? That she knew much less than Carson? Because it wasn't true, not about medicine in general. She just didn't have the experience he'd had of specific things about the Pegasus galaxy.

"_A Keller doesn't quit_," she reminded herself determinedly, anger at the harsh judgement starting to kick in. She'd learn everything she needed – and she'd show everyone that Elizabeth hadn't made the wrong decision in promoting her.

She didn't want to overshadow a great man … she just wanted to find her own place … if people would only let her!

* * *

><p>The eavesdropping incident left her feeling bad tempered and impatient, even after a good night's sleep. She was rearranging one of the equipment cabinets – unnecessarily but she'd been desperate for something to do – when Major Lorne walked in.<p>

It had been a few days since she'd seen him – when he'd come to the infirmary for a final scan to confirm all his hormone levels were back to normal. Since then she'd caught sight of him a couple of times and to her it seemed like they'd gone back to the same status quo, where she was too aware of him while he didn't appear to know she was alive. In her current mood that assessment had her closing the cabinet a little too forcefully, the harsh bang of metal on metal loud in the quiet infirmary, and turning to him with a scowl.

"Major," she said, her posture and manner very much unwelcoming.

"Is everything okay Doc?" Lorne asked, picking up on her mood and clearly puzzled by her reception.

"Don't call me that!" Jennifer shot back heatedly. She knew she was being unreasonable but he'd become a convenient target, or maybe the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Ah, okay … Doctor Keller," Evan's brow shot up at her protest. "I'm sorry," he added, probably deciding that visiting the infirmary hadn't been his best idea. "I'll just," he motioned towards the doorway.

The regret was instant – what was she doing? There was no call to treat anyone like that – what if he was there for medical assistance, and she'd scared him away?

"No," Jenn grabbed his forearm, letting go immediately and giving him an awkward smile. "No Major, I'm the one who's sorry." She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, giving him an assessing look. Maybe he was someone who would understand … and maybe he wasn't, but at the very least she owed him an explanation for her behaviour. "It's just … everyone called Carson 'Doc', and with so much _affection_. _I_ was one of those people but … I'm _not_ him – and I never can be, no matter how much everyone wishes I was."

"Firstly, no one is wishing for you to _be_ Carson," Lorne said earnestly, "but the simple fact is that _someone_ has to do the job, no matter who did it before. It's too important. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we'd rather have you, someone who's worked here, who's been right beside us going through the same things we've been through recently, than anyone they might send from Earth."

"I -," Jennifer began.

"I'm not done," Evan broke in, giving her a look that melted her insides and rendered her speechless. Obviously she needed to add 'purposeful and out for justice' Lorne to her list of his moods that reminded her of how attracted she was to him. _Not the time Jenn_, she told herself.

"Secondly, you're right," he continued. "I _have_ been calling you Doc, but not because I'm pretending you're just a Carson Beckett replacement. It's laziness Doctor Keller, plain and simple. I can't do much about anyone else but I'll make an effort to call you by your full title in future."

"Jennifer," Jenn invited quickly before she could change her mind. "I'd really like it if you called me Jennifer." She looked up at him hopefully.

"Ah, sure, I can do that," Lorne seemed a little taken aback at first but he regrouped quickly, "Jennifer." His voice was another thing on her 'attractions' list and hearing her name fall from his lips for the first time sent a flock of pesky butterflies to dancing around her stomach.

"Thank you Major," she tried for a confident smile but knew she was probably coming over as nervous instead … which she was. He _always_ made her nervous, and now it was worse because she'd actually spoken to him a few times. It wasn't a continuous feeling though - she'd been able to conduct his scans and ever have that detailed conversation with him about his paintings without turning into conversational mush. That probably made it worse - her bouts of nervousness more obvious because she wasn't always like that. She really had to find a way to get over her reactions otherwise he'd be back to questioning her competence.

"Doctor Keller?" Jennifer turned to see Marie guiding a young Marine to one of the examination beds. "Excuse me," she told Lorne before moving to stand beside Marie.

The Marine had a gash just under his eyebrow – a common injury in a place where sparring sessions were serious practice for what was confronted out in the field.

"It doesn't look too bad," Jennifer said reassuringly as she assessed the injury with a gentle hand. It was a deeper gash than many she saw, enough that it required more than the butterfly strips she often used. "You'll need stitches but we should be able to leave you with only a very faint scar."

"Yes Ma'am," the Private looked almost disappointed.

"Just between you and me Private Bennett," Jenn leaned closer to clean the wound, "girls don't really dig scars – at least not all of them."

Bennett reddened a little but he gave Jennifer the kind of look she was used to seeing from the younger officers – a mix of 'Florence Nightingale' infatuation and respect for her opinion because she was a doctor.

"I'm just going to give you a local anaesthetic," she explained, applying the injection quickly and cleanly. "We'll give that a minute to work its magic," she turned to where Marie had already gathered onto a tray what she needed to suture the wound.

Bennett was stoic as she applied four sutures along the gash, followed by a small adhesive bandage to protect the wound while it healed. "There you go – almost as good as new," she announced when she was done.

"Thanks Doctor," Bennett sat up, swinging his legs to the side of the bed.

"No sparring for the next few days Private," Jennifer said firmly, "and try to duck faster next time, okay?"

"Yes Ma'am," Bennett smiled, clearly embarrassed that he'd ended up in the infirmary in the first place.

"Okay, off you go," Jennifer smiled, watching him rush away before she quickly cleaned up her equipment.

"I'll update his file," Marie offered, getting a grateful nod in return.

"Does that happen a lot?"

Startled, Jennifer turned to see that Major Lorne hadn't left as she'd assumed. Had he watched her the whole time she'd been treating Private Bennett? Glad she hadn't realised, she regrouped, answering his question. "It does – your men take their training very seriously." She smiled. "I'm sorry Major Lorne – I had no idea you were still here."

"You know," he gave her a small half smile that ramped up her nervousness to the next level – the one where she got breathless and started blushing for no apparent reason. "If I'm going to be calling you by your first name then it's only fair you do the same."

"Um …," was the best she could manage. Mortified she shook her head – at herself more than in response to his question.

"It's easy," he urged in a slightly teasing tone. "Come on, try it with me. E-van."

"Evan," she repeated, looking up and meeting his eyes. That sparkle of humour was there and all of a sudden she started laughing. "This is crazy, isn't it?"

"Just a little," Evan agreed – he didn't laugh outright but she could see he was amused at her reaction. "Do you have a problem with first names in general Jennifer?"

"No, of course not," she smiled. "I guess I've been here long enough I've gotten used to all the ranks and titles. Now addressing anyone by anything else just sounds wrong."

"You don't have to call me Evan but it'd be nice to hear my first name from time to time – otherwise I might forget what it is," he replied. "That could be embarrassing when I'm introducing myself off world."

"Well, in that case I suppose I'll have to … Evan," Jennifer smiled, her previous bad mood forgotten because Evan Lorne was not only talking to her but teasing her too – like they were already the friends she hoped they could be one day.

"Great," he smiled then, and this time she couldn't look away. His eyes seemed a little bluer and he had dimples … how was she supposed to not react to that? There was a moment where everything seemed to pause and then he nodded, breaking the spell. "I'll leave you to get back to work then … and this time, go easy on the furniture, okay?"

She laughed. "I think I can do that."

He gave her a reassuring kind of look and then turned to leave.

"Evan," she said quickly, waiting until he looked back at her. "Thank you … for what you said before. It means a lot."

"You're welcome," he smiled, "any time." Raising a hand in a casual farewell he turned and walked from the infirmary.

He'd said 'any time' – like he meant for her to talk to him in the future if she needed to. Jennifer couldn't wipe the delighted smile from her face, not even when Marie gave her a knowing look.

* * *

><p>Talking to Jennifer Keller had been interesting, even though initially Evan had wondered if he'd made a mistake going to the infirmary just to see how she was doing. He'd left it a few days for everything to settle before acting on his resolve to get to know her better - maybe he should have followed up with her sooner.<p>

He wasn't surprised she was still struggling with some of the issues taking over from Carson created – and he'd be happy to continue to offer her his own views on that if they helped her resolve them. No, nothing about what was said surprised him … in fact he wasn't sure why he'd hung around after Private Bennett arrived. The young marine needed a few stitches and Evan had watched Jennifer deal with the situation – putting Bennett at ease even as she stitched him up with enough skill Evan was sure the younger man hadn't felt a thing.

He'd watched Jennifer be a doctor, no signs of the nervousness he ascribed to her, and all at once he'd had one of those 'ah' moments – a revelation so to speak. He'd put together all the little snapshots he had from recent interactions and they made a picture he hadn't expected.

It wasn't that being a Doctor here made her nervous. It was him! _He_ made her nervous … on a _personal_ level. Why was the question he didn't have an answer for, although the most obvious assumption was that she was attracted to him. And while he couldn't be one hundred percent sure, it surprised him to realise that he wouldn't be opposed to being right.

He didn't really have time for relationships, hadn't planned on starting anything given the complications of being posted and living all in the one place together, civilians and military. But Jennifer Keller intrigued him … he'd already been looking forward to getting to know her better and could now add the lure of working out whether he was right about the source of her nervousness.

Maybe he'd ask her to join his team the next time they had lunch in the Mess … at the very least he'd get to see how she dealt with the teasing she'd get from Reed and Coughlin. Making a few new friends would be good for her.


	7. Optimism

**Chapter 7: Optimism**

"_Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."  
>Maria Robinson<em>

Lorne got his opportunity to talk more with Doctor Keller the following day during lunch. Sitting with his team, facing the serving area he spotted Jennifer immediately. She grabbed a tray, placing a few items on it before she turned to look around. Her posture had him thinking she was after something in particular – an out of the way spot if her chosen direction was any indicator.

"_Not today_," he thought. She'd have to pass pretty close to his table so he waited until she'd hear him before trying to get her attention. "Jennifer," he didn't call out, just used the tone that always got attention during training sessions – his 'Major Lorne' voice his sister called it.

She looked up, startled, catching his eye. He nodded his head to his table, raising a brow. She hesitated and he had to control the urge to smile because her expression then was so easy to read. She didn't want to join him but also really didn't want to be rude. Her shoulders slumped just a little and then she gave him a nod, taking a bracing kind of breath before she changed direction and headed his way.

"Afternoon," he greeted her, shifting a little so she could sit in the only empty seat next to him.

"Good afternoon Evan," she returned, smiling a little awkwardly towards the others at the table as she sat.

"You probably already know Coughlin, Reed and Chiang, right?" Evan checked, not wanting to go through lengthy introductions unless they were necessary. Nate was giving him a puzzled look which he completely ignored. The use of first names would have raised his second's radar, Lorne knew that before he'd called out – but after their conversation yesterday there was no way he could bring himself to call Jennifer 'Doctor Keller', not when she'd explicitly asked him not to.

"I do, although I don't think I've ever spoken to any of you outside of the infirmary," she replied.

"Must be hard to remember everyone's names," Reed, always the friendly one, commented cheerfully.

"Sometimes," Jennifer agreed, sitting stiffly and clearing feeling uncomfortable lunching with team Lorne.

"I find that hard to believe. In fact, I bet you aced the 'Patient names 101' class in medical school," Evan joked.

She laughed, just as he'd intended, relaxing just a little in the process. "Don't _you_ have to know the names of everyone in the city?" she shot back at him.

"It's expected," Lorne agreed. "Forgetting someone's name – here or off world – never seems to go down very well."

"He has a system, don't you Sir," Chiang offered helpfully.

"You do?" Jennifer looked surprised.

"I do, but we don't usually tell people about that, do we Airman?" Lorne shot his teammate a pointed look. "It's probably almost as bad to admit you need a trick to remember someone's name as it is to not remember it at all."

Chiang had the grace to look a little guilty and a little embarrassed – trying to impress the pretty doctor by ratting out his CO was a definite no no. "Sorry Sir," he mumbled, ignoring the smirks he was getting from Reed.

"What is it?" Jennifer asked curiously. "Your system I mean. What do you do?"

"Nothing that special really," Evan dismissed casually. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"Okay, then how would you remember my name?" Jennifer persisted.

He couldn't help it – the opportunity to rattle her was just there for the taking. "I don't need a system to remember your name … Jennifer," he said intently.

Her eyes darted to his and she blushed visibly before looking away.

Oh yeah, he definitely made her nervous in a 'you man, me woman' kind of way; that didn't necessary mean anything but it certainly got his attention. Smiling he decided to cut her some slack by explaining. "I make up a phrase to prompt me," he waited until she looked at him, aware that his team were all way too interested in his interaction with the doctor. "Like for Nate here it'd be something like _Dempsey's a cog in the machine_."

"But his name isn't Dempsey," Jennifer said, eyes narrowed as she tried to nut out his clues.

"That's why this only works for me," Evan shrugged. "You have to know that Nathan Dempsey is a hockey player. Nathan – Nate. And the cog is for Coughlin. I don't know why it works but it does."

"Probably because making up a name prompt on the spot forces you to pay attention during an introduction, with the repetition to remember the prompt shifting the name out of short term memory," Jennifer postulated, sounding very doctor like. "I bet some of your prompts for our contacts off world are pretty interesting."

"Like the guy we're meeting with later today," Nate suggested.

"Minister Lumenis Quaero," Evan said without needing to think about it. They were going off world mid afternoon Atlantis time for an early morning arrival on M8M-474, a planet Lorne's team had been to regularly the past year. This would be their first visit since they'd moved Atlantis to its new planet.

"How can you remember that?" Jennifer was so caught up in the conversation and getting an inside view into his team that she seemed much more comfortable than she usually was in Evan's presence.

"Ah, see, now this one isn't going to make much sense either," he began. "_The Ancient Minister is looking for the light._"

His team and Jennifer all looked at him like he was speaking another language and he had to laugh. "Okay, okay. Lumenis is pretty close to the ancient word for light. Ditto on Quaero which loosely translates to search or searching."

"You speak Ancient?" Jennifer queried, surprised.

"Not to have a fluent conversation, no," Evan shrugged modestly. "But I've done my fair share of lab duty with the scientists. Spend a few hours on a regular basis turning stuff off and on and you can't help but pick up a few words. Comes in handy sometimes."

"I can see that," Jennifer looked impressed, which was kind of neat from his perspective.

Coughlin was sitting there with a smirk on his face; Lorne raised a brow at him pointedly but the other man chuckled, glancing to Doctor Keller and then back to Evan meaningfully. He wasn't sure what Nate might have said next; Jennifer caught sight of her watch and let out a tired sigh.

"I'm sorry guys, duty calls," she announced even though she hadn't been there very long. Standing up she reached down to take her tray at the same time that Evan moved to stop her, their hands brushing before she pulled away.

There was another one of those moments, when time seemed to slow so you could notice all the little nuances that usually got overlooked. For Evan, it was how delicate her hand seemed, the way she let out a small gasp, like the contact shocked her in some way, and the zing of attraction he felt in response. They were all things he'd either overlooked during their previous conversations or just not being paying enough attention to notice – or maybe he'd been so hyped up with overactive, alien induced hormones his reactions to Jennifer had been drowned out. It wasn't like he ran around the city actively thinking about whether any of the women there were attracted to him either, and he certainly didn't think about anyone as a potential for anything. Quite the opposite – whenever gossip of the 'who was into who' variety came up he'd switch off immediately. As military second in command with a high degree of responsibility for staffing he couldn't afford to have anything sway his own judgements and the grey area between juicy but untrue and proven accurate was too great for gossip to be of use to him.

"We'll get that for you," he told her, although both of them had forgotten the brush of hands began with his gentlemanly act to clear her tray away.

"Thanks for the invitation to sit with you," Jennifer addressed her comments to his team as a whole.

"You're a step up from the usual company so I should be thanking you," Evan's eyes glinted with amusement when Reed and Nate both let out disgruntled "hey's"!

"I enjoyed talking to _all_ of you," she said pointedly, giving him a disapproving look.

"Great, then you can join us again tomorrow," Lorne looked innocent when she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Yes, please do Ma'am," Nate seconded the invitation.

Jennifer looked surprised and touched. "Thank you Lieutenant," she said. "I'd like that."

"So I get the suspicious look and he gets a thank you?" Evan complained. "How is that fair?"

Jennifer smiled but didn't return his teasing. "Good luck on your mission," she told them, giving Lorne one of those unreadable looks of hers before she took her leave.

"So … 'Jennifer', Sir?" Coughlin asked as soon as she was out of earshot.

"She _asked_ me to call her that," Lorne returned briskly, "and before you go reading anything into it, don't. It's a tough ask to take over anyone's role, but especially someone as well liked as Carson. I just happened to be the nearest person when she decided she wanted a break from being Doctor Keller."

"Right, of course Sir, that must be it," Nate agreed sagely. "Of course, that doesn't explain why she's calling you by your first name too."

"You never hear of politeness Lieutenant?" Evan shot back. "You should try it sometime."

"Me thinks he doth protest too much," Nate muttered to Reed and Chiang. Both men smirked but knew better than to add their own comments to the mix. Lorne was a laid back team leader, encouraging them to be equals in many respects. He didn't sit on his rank as the be all and end all, preferring to gain their trust through his actions. As a result they were friends as well as team mates and Evan didn't regret cutting them as much slack as he did – his orders were followed without question and he could put up with the friendly ribbing, and give back as good as he got, for the kind of team dynamic they shared.

"Since you all have nothing better to do we'll brief on the mission now," Lorne announced.

There were a few groans – an early briefing meant their lunch break had been cut short – but they all got up, grabbed trays and anything else on the table and headed for the exit.

Lorne followed, taking his own tray. He'd been out of action for over a week because of his brush with being taken over by aliens and his subsequent incarceration – the guys had trodden carefully around him afterwards as well. He didn't remember as much as he would like about what happened after the entity went home but the 'delicate' treatment suggested he'd been in a pretty bad way. The lunch break just gone was the first one where things felt like they were back to normal … and it was worth a little personal sacrifice in the teasing department to get there.

**Authors Note:**

Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter - I will get to review replies soon; thought you'd all prefer another chapter first! Hope you enjoy ...


	8. Jealousy

**Chapter 8: Jealousy**

"_Jealous people poison their own banquet and then eat it"  
>Unattributed<em>

"Welcome Major Lorne," Minister Lumenis Quaero greeted Evan with his usual careful grace, his attire both formal and somewhat opulent, in keeping with his station.

The other man was as close to 'politician' as Lorne had come across in Pegasus – the way he held himself, his studied smile when responding to off worlders, as well as the way he always had an answer that wasn't really an answer for every question. As the leader of Yanoma, what the people called their home, he represented the interests of his own city as well as the interests of the neighbouring towns. Unlike many of the worlds they visited, these people lived in a large community of stone houses and bigger gathering halls, including the one they were meeting in. The town put Evan in mind of another town, where he and his team had 'died' in a fire. Like that other town, the people here were on the upper edge of advancement – close to the point beyond which they'd make themselves a target for the Wraith.

"It's good to be back," Evan replied, holding out his hand and waiting for the Minister to shake it. It was a custom they'd introduced during their first mission to M8M-474 and Quaero seemed quite taken with it. He squeezed Evan's hand with more force than was strictly necessary before letting go, turning his attention to the rest of the team. Coughlin, Reed and Chiang all went through the same ritual before their host seemed happy to move on.

"I must say we are most relieved to see you arrive as planned," Minister Quaero said, motioning for Evan to take a seat at the large wooden table as he sat down himself.

"Why is that?" Evan asked blandly.

"We heard rumours from more than one visitor that the city of the Ancestors was no more," Quaero explained. "I am pleased to see those rumours prove inaccurate."

"As are we," Lorne quipped, earning a half smile from Quaero. The guy wasn't known for his sense of humour so Evan took that as a positive.

"All is well with the Ancestor's home then?" Quaero persisted.

Evan frowned, the particular wording of his question raising a flag at the back of his mind. "It is," he replied, offering no further details. Maybe it meant nothing but Lorne knew some Pegasus residents saw the people from Earth as little more than squatters in a city the Ancestors would one day come back and claim. He hadn't previously got that sense from Lumenis, but the one sure thing about the Pegasus galaxy was that there were no sure things.

"The Yanoman people are relieved," the Minister said formally. "Let us talk now of trade."

Lorne nodded, motioning for Reed to give him the data pad containing their current agreement along with a history of the changes they'd agreed to previously. Yanoma was a verdant planet with an abundance of crops – more than the people could utilise, hence their trading ties with many other Pegasus races. They were known throughout the gate travelling worlds for the quality of their foodstuffs, and had been one of the first places Teyla recommended Atlantis cultivate as a trading partner. It was lucky for them that the connection back to Earth had been established – the main currency Atlantis dealt in, aside from the use of their specialists to consult on technological improvements, was medical assistance including the provision of easily administered supplies. The Yanomans had more knowledge about medicine than the average Pegasus residents – what they really needed was help from Atlantis to grow that base of knowledge; to help their doctors treat less common ailments and to make better use of medicinal plants and compounds found naturally.

Over the following hours Lorne nutted out the changes Quaero required while giving only what he had clearance to give … all the while wondering when he'd turned from pilot and soldier to negotiator – not that he would _ever_ willingly call himself that.

"Then we are in agreement?" Quaero asked once the last point had been addressed. It had been a long day with just the one break for lunch in the middle, and everyone was tired, Lorne even more so since in was already late evening back in Atlantis.

"We are," he confirmed, making a few notations on the data pad before saving the document and handing the pad back to Reed. "I'll have our leader ratify the agreement when we get back to Atlantis and then it'll be in effect and we can work out a schedule for our medical staff to begin visits."

"This is wonderful news Major," Quaero actually smiled. "Now, given our previous history I took the liberty of arranging a small celebration banquet. You will join us at the great hall?"

"Ah, sure, of course," Lorne agreed, knowing from experience that 'small' meant the great hall would be crowded with as many people as the Minister could fit in. He'd planned on an extended mission – renegotiating their agreement was a once a year event and sticking around to be sociable was part of keeping the relationship cordial. "Lieutenant Coughlin and Airman Chiang will head back to the Stargate to report in, and then return to join us."

"That is acceptable," the Minister nodded, as though whether Lorne sent two of his team back for a status update was something he could either grant or deny.

The man had a personal guard residing within the grounds of his residence as well as additional forces necessary to 'police' a town the size of Yanoma - he was used to giving orders so Evan let it slide as usual. He stood, motioning for Reed to follow him. Outside the building, where Coughlin and Chiang had been standing guard – keeping an eye on things because no matter how often they went somewhere, there was never a time when you could consider yourself completely safe – Lorne stopped.

"How did it go Sir?" Nate queried.

"That man would argue about Mickey Mouse being included at Disneyland," Evan quipped. "You're lucky it only took," he glanced at his watch, "six hours to renew the agreement."

"Is that a new record?" Reed grinned at Nate.

"I don't know Dan – you're the one keeping score," Coughlin replied.

"Record or not, we're done for now," Lorne got them back on topic. "Coughlin, take Chiang and head back to the gate. Tell Colonel Carter the Yanomans are onside for another year and that we're sticking around for the usual celebration dinner."

"Are we staying overnight Sir?" Nate asked.

"Probably," Lorne pursed his lips as he considered the likelihood of being able to cut out early. "As soon as you're done, head back here. We'll be in the great hall," he pointed back towards the largest stone building, almost centre of town. It was attached to a smaller structure that served as Minister Quaero's administration centre as well as his residence.

"Yes Sir," Coughlin nodded to Chiang to follow him, the two men quickly disappearing up the road leading away from the town.

"Okay, let's get this over with," Lorne nodded his head for Reed to start walking.

* * *

><p>Minister Quaero had them sitting front and centre at the head table, the room filled with about a hundred of the town's most prominent people. A few were familiar from previous visits, Lorne and the others getting waves and greetings as everyone seemed to find a reason to walk past their table.<p>

"You have to admit Sir, being treated like VIPs is pretty cool," Jimmy Chiang commented when they'd been at the banquet for going on two hours. The Minister and his council were doing their rounds of the crowd, leaving Lorne and his team sitting alone.

"Maybe," Evan allowed, "but I've always had the feeling these people would very quickly change their tune if any one of us stepped out of line."

"Like taking Quaero's sister up on her very obvious invitation?" Nate suggested in a low tone for Lorne's ears only.

Evan shrugged – even he couldn't have failed to notice both that evening as well as previously that the Minister's sister, Atrala, had an interest in him. He'd ignored it – because there was no way he'd ever conduct himself with even a hint of the inappropriate, off world or anywhere. Plus it was more than a little disturbing that her name, minus the last syllable, was very close to one of the Ancient words for 'dark'. There was something in her eyes when she looked at him that had Lorne sensing that darkness – she wasn't one he'd want to tangle with. He wondered not for the first time if her parents had intentionally named their children as opposites - although they looked very much alike Lorne's take was that in every other respect they couldn't be more different. Lumenis worked long and hard for his people; Atrala didn't seem to do much of anything, not that Evan could tell.

"Maybe we should tell her you're no longer on the market, Sir," Coughlin offered up that suggestion semi seriously, unaware that Lumenis was coming up behind them, his sister close beside him. "Mentioning Doctor Keller would make a nice change from your usual approach."

"Jennifer and I are -," Evan began, stopping abruptly when he sensed Lumenis standing behind him. "Minister," he looked back and greeted the other man respectfully.

"Major, you remember my sister, Atrala," the Minister said almost jovially.

Lorne held in a groan – had she roped her brother into pleading her case now? How the hell was he going to get out of this one gracefully and without offending anyone?

"Ms Quaero," Evan replied, nodding to the woman. Tonight she was wearing a form fitting dress that showed off her attributes with almost garish obviousness. The woman was attractive, there was no doubt about that, with her dark hair cascading down her back, her classically beautiful features, and her pure green eyes. Her beauty had a cold, sharp edge to it though – a bitterness even. Maybe he would have wondered what happened in the past to make her bitter, but for the fact that she seemed to revel in it.

"Major Lorne," Atrala smiled. "How many times have I asked you to call me by my first name?"

"Given our relative roles it wouldn't be polite of me to do that Ma'am," Evan returned with bland sincerity.

"And here I was thinking it wasn't polite of you to refuse," Atrala gave him a pouty look of disappointment that Lorne pretended he was oblivious to.

"They'll be serving the last course soon," Lumenis spoke after a few moments of silence, rescuing the stalled conversation. "Afterwards our dancers will be putting on a display of traditional movement I would very much like you to see." He smiled. "An understanding of our different cultures furthers the development of diplomatic relationships, don't you agree Major?"

Lorne held in a long suffering sigh. Dancing? If he'd said a display of local art works Evan might have been interested, but _dancing_? Not so much. He could almost hear Colonel Sheppard laughing himself stupid, right before he ordered Lorne to stick it out, for the good of their ongoing goodwill with Yanoma of course.

"I'm sure we'll all find it very interesting, Minister," he told the other man, ignoring the pained looks his team were giving him. If he had to sit through it, so did they!

"Excellent," Lumenis said, pleased. "It is late and you will not wish to traverse the distance back to the Ancestor's ring in darkness. I have arranged for all of you to be housed in the visitors wing in my own residence. I trust this will be acceptable?"

You didn't refuse an invitation to stay in the home of a leader. "That's very generous," Evan replied graciously.

"The guards have been alerted to allow you entrance at your convenience," Lumenis concluded. "Now, let us enjoy the remainder of the banquet." He retook his seat after seeing his sister seated next to him.

Settling back in his chair, Evan cast his eyes around the room, aware that Atrala was now directly across from him, not unlike a big cat just waiting to pounce. God, he really wanted to go home.

* * *

><p>She could hardly believe what she had overheard. The Major was not uninterested in women nor permanently partnered as she'd begun to suspect. He'd refused her advances time and time again, yet offered himself up to one of his own people? The knowledge burned … no one rejected Atrala Quaero, not permanently. They all changed their minds eventually, especially when she gave them no other choice. She wondered – how would this Jennifer Keller's opinion of the Major change if she were to learn that Lorne was capable of the same behaviour all men eventually degenerated to? Would she want him then?<p>

Smiling slyly, Atrala watched the Major and his team for a few moments longer before quietly slipping away. She had plans to implement.

**Authors Note:**

Thank you again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - glad you enjoyed the team Lorne lunch. In the interests of keeping the story moving I'll delay replies again to post this chapter ... as usual, hope you enjoy! Thanks ...


	9. Dread

**Authors Note:**

Thank you to all my reviewers for the last chapter - very much appreciated as always. I'm just going to press on and continue to post a chapter every day - I will catch up with replies eventually, probably all in one go over the weekend - so thank you kind reviewers for your patience.

I feel the need to issue a language warning for this chapter - a couple of instances of the f word in particular - used because I felt the circumstances warranted it. This is the point were the story takes a sharp turn into more adult concepts - please refer to my Key Warnings in the first chapter. I have been careful to keep this to a T+ rating but please, let me know as the story progresses if you feel a higher rating is more appropriate. Thanks.

**Chapter 9: Dread**

"_It is not the experience of today that drives us mad; it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring."  
>Unattributed<em>

Groaning, Evan returned to wakefulness, feeling like he was dragging himself from a pit of heavy, black tar determined to maintain its grip on him.

Rolling over, he opened his eyes, looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling while icepicks hammered at the centre of his head. His throat felt raw and the inside of his mouth was so dry and furry he felt like his tongue was stuck to the back of his teeth. His mental capacity was sluggish too – he just couldn't get his brain into gear, even though he was aware that he really, _really_ needed to.

"_Time to get up Major_," he tried to motivate himself to action. Getting his bearings proved almost impossible, his stomach turned and the world wavered a little as he made himself sit up and look around.

"What the?" he croaked, a host of impressions hitting him all at once.

He was in a bed – not his – in a room – also not his. The bed sheets were twisted in a manner than almost screamed 'adults only', dragging on the floor, the pillows discarded halfway across the room.

It got worse.

He was naked – bare-chested, the sheets barely protecting his modesty – with no sign of his uniform anywhere he could see from his current position. No sign of his radio either. That wasn't the worst of it either. That would be the fact that he had no memory of how he'd got wherever he was, nor what he'd done once he had.

Before he could process his predicament the door burst open and Minister Quaero strode in, two guards at his sides, a third escorting a cloaked figure, face hidden from view.

"Major!" Lumenis snarled, his eyes shooting daggers as he got an eye full of Evan, naked, in a bed that wasn't his.

"I can ah …," Lorne hesitated to use the clichéd words, and besides, he _couldn't_ explain.

"When Atrala came to me distraught I refused to believe her, not without the proof of my own eyes," the minister turned away, disgust and betrayal stiffening his posture.

"Atrala?" Evan hated the way his thoughts wavered. He couldn't get a handle on what was happening, even though clearly he was in a whole world of trouble.

Lumenis clicked his fingers imperiously. The third guard stepped forward, bringing with him the cloaked figure. Lumenis ripped the cloak aside like a magician making something disappear, only here it was to reveal his sister, her clothing torn, her face streaked with tears.

Lorne felt his stomach literally drop when he saw Atrala. "What the hell?" He grabbed the top sheet, wrapping it around his waist as he sprung from the bed like it was on fire.

"Do not attempt to plead innocence," Lumenis shouted, his voice harsh in the otherwise quiet of early morning, "not when you lie there in _my_ _sister's bed_! Atrala had already revealed everything that happened last night."

Last night? Lorne frowned, rubbing at his forehead, the headache still stabbing at the back of his eyes. "I don't … I can't remember," he admitted.

"That is no excuse!" Lumenis snapped, stepping forward and glaring at Evan from a pace away. "A man is responsible for his actions, whether under the influence of Terrene wine or not!" He turned to his two guards. "_Arrest him!"_

"Now _wait_ just a minute," Evan held up a hand placatingly, the other still clutching the sheet to his lower body. He'd drunk _Terrene_ wine? _When_? Because sure as hell it hadn't been before the Minister and his sister had joined them at the table. Squeezing his eyes tight shut he shook his head and then tried to refocus on Lumenis. "I'm sure we can work this out," he half pleaded.

"You _violated_ my sister," the minister's voice went low and stark. Atrala gave a hiccupping cry, sniffing delicately as she wiped away fresh tears. "There is nothing to work out," her brother continued. "The penalty for such actions is universal on Yanoma – regardless of the offender's origins."

Stunned, the only words Lorne could think were '_Fuck no_!' He might not be able to remember anything after sitting through the dancing display the night before but he was sure of one thing. No matter what he'd consumed, no matter how drunk he might have been, there was no way in hell he'd ever force himself on a woman. _No way_.

"I didn't violate Atrala," he said with quiet dignity. He made himself glance at her then. The look in her eyes didn't gel with the state of her attire, the bruises on her face and arms – triumphant and calculating, the one word that rose above all others to describe her mood was avaricious. Only she wasn't out for wealth, she was out for Evan Lorne. Clearly she'd found a way to get him just where she wanted him – vulnerable and without other options.

"You would have me believe you, a virtual _stranger_ to us, over my own sister?" Lumenis demanded.

"No, not without proof," Evan replied evenly. "Let me get dressed and talk to my team. We have people back home who can collect evidence, give you all the proof you need to exonerate me."

Lumenis scowled, turning his back on Lorne and his sister. He stood unmoving for a few moments before turning back to address them. "As a brother I want nothing more than to administer the punishment myself before imprisoning you for the rest of your life."

Okay, that didn't sound promising … Lorne was pretty sure he knew what the punishment was, the urge to shield his manhood with protective hands almost overwhelming. It was all he could do to look at Minister Quaero impassively, waiting silently for the rest of it.

"But as a leader and diplomat I must set an example," Lumenis continued. "I will allow you to speak with your men before they return to Atlantis. I will also allow your experts to return to investigate this matter, freely. You will wait in our holding cells here until such time as they require to speak with you. You have five minutes to get dressed."

Evan took a steadying breath and then nodded, knowing saying a verbal 'thank you' wouldn't go down well. Lumenis wasn't being accommodating for him anyway, he was doing it for show, nothing more. If tearing Lorne limb from limb wouldn't cause a diplomatic incident, Evan would probably already have found himself at the business end of whatever weapon the other man chose.

Somehow someone had gotten the drop on him the previous night … Lorne was careful and he never let down his guard, and yet here he was, accused and with no memories to help him get himself out of trouble. He had to give himself the best chance – even though his next request was probably going to piss Lumenis off even more than he already was.

"I'm sorry Minister, but I need to ask that this room not be disturbed in any way," he stated firmly. Not looking at Atrala he continued. "Your sister will also need to remain as she is – no bathing or changing clothes until someone from Atlantis has examined her as well."

Lumenis glared, his eyes icy and his voice carrying a deadly edge. "I fail to see how treating my sister in this manner is warranted when you are the one at fault Major Lorne."

"If I'm at fault then you should want Atrala to retain all the evidence that's going to convict me," Evan countered. "If I'm guilty she has the proof – _irrefutable_ proof. I can't explain to you how it works, just that what I'm counting on to clear me is the same thing that will incriminate me, in the eyes of my people too. Whoever they send will give you and your doctors full disclosure on every test they use - you might not trust me anymore but I know you won't extend that to the rest of my people."

After regarding Lorne silently, Lumenis gave a nod of assent. "Atrala will be sequestered with my wife present at all times to ensure she does as you have requested." He motioned for the guards to leave, putting an arm around his sister and leading her gently from the room, his loyalties very clearly announced.

"Shit, shit, shit," Lorne muttered, glancing around the room rapidly. He was in deep shit here and yet his mind was full of the eventual humiliation he'd suffer if he had to leave the room in five minutes still dressed in a bed sheet. Spying a splash of black against the white of a discarded quilt, he reached down to grab it, relieved to discover that it was his pants. Even if that was the only thing he located at least his dignity would be somewhat preserved.

Continuing his search he found his black t-shirt buried under the quilt as well – more searching didn't reveal anything else however. When the guards knocked on the door Lorne was forced to walk from the room in his uniform pants and t-shirt – no underwear, bare footed.

"Your team has been brought to the visitor's breakfast room to wait for you," one of them said.

Lorne nodded, following where they led until they came to a small room with a table and chairs and not much else, including windows. It was dark and gloomy, and matched Evan's mood perfectly. Coughlin stood near the door, Reed and Chiang sitting at the far end of the table. They all straightened when he walked in.

"Minister Quaero said ten minutes only," the same guard intoned, giving Evan a narrow eyed glance like he expected the Major to escape out the window as soon as his back was turned, before he shut the door – hard – behind him.

"Sir?" Coughlin spoke first, his eyes tracking over his team leader and quickly taking in his appearance.

"At ease," Evan took a moment, his lips pursed as he considered how to start. He needed help – despite what he knew would be a mortifying conversation. "Okay, so this is going to sound insane and I hope to hell one of you can fill in some of the blanks."

"What blanks?" Nate was looking more than a little concerned now and Evan didn't blame him.

"Between the end of that dance thing last night and this morning, where I woke up in Atrala's bed after apparently violating her," Lorne said starkly.

"No way!" Reed stood, protest in every inch of his being. "Pardon my French Sir, but that is fucked up crap. No way did you force any woman, especially not her!"

"Thank you for the vote of confidence Dan," Evan acknowledged, something inside relaxing at his team mate's immediate belief in his innocence, no questions. Maybe he'd been worried they'd think he was guilty – them or the people back on Atlantis they'd have to talk to on his behalf. "Minister Quaero unfortunately doesn't agree with your assessment of my character. Atrala must have been pretty convincing. He's agreed to let you all return to Atlantis and bring back someone who can collect evidence to work out what really happened."

"What do you want us to do Sir?" Nate asked quietly.

"I don't know what else you can do, aside from what Quaero is allowing," Evan admitted. "Did any of you see me with Atrala last night, after the dancing?"

It was a valid question – after the formal part of the banquet they'd split up to 'work the crowd'. Translated that meant talk to the locals, get a feel for how they saw the Atlantians, see if they could get any intel on Wraith movements or anything else going on outside of M8M-474. Reed and Coughlin had stuck together while Lorne took Jimmy with him. The youngest member of his team was the shy, quiet type though – Lorne took pity on him only a couple of minutes in and ordered him to stand guard near the door.

Reed and Coughlin both shook their heads. "You radioed us at 2100 hours Sir," Nate explained. "Said we were off duty and to head to our rooms. We came back here and Minister Quaero's guards escorted us straight to quarters."

"I don't remember that," Evan frowned, wincing when the effort to think hard enough to bring back his memories only served to ramp up his headache. Rubbing at his forehead he swallowed back a wave of nausea, willing himself to hold it together. "What about you Jimmy?"

Chiang hesitated to add his response, until Lorne gave him a brow raising expectant look. "I can't say for sure Sir. I saw you walking outside with someone – it was only from the back but … it could have been Atrala."

"Why didn't you alert me when you got back here Airman?" Coughlin said sternly.

"Ease up Lieutenant," Lorne said before Chiang could reply. "Jimmy had no reason to question anything he saw."

"Maybe I should have Sir," Jimmy said dismally. "I second Reed – there's no way you'd act like that with anyone. What I saw doesn't fit with what I know, so I should have been suspicious."

"Only hindsight is twenty, twenty," Evan clapped a hand to the young man's shoulder reassuringly.

"If you walked away with Atrala under your own steam then there's really only one reason why you can't remember anything," Coughlin straightened, clearly ready to spring into action.

"I was drugged." It fit what little Evan knew as well as how he was still feeling, much as it galled to have to admit it. He hadn't consumed anything alcoholic, as far as he'd been aware, and especially not something as potent as Terrene wine. "You need to get back to Atlantis and bring back a medic as soon as possible, before whatever it was clears my system."

"Yes Sir," Coughlin strode to the door, knocking sharply before he opened it himself. "We're ready to leave," he told the guard bluntly. Turning back to Lorne he nodded. "We won't let you down Sir."

"I know you won't Lieutenant," Evan replied. "Just … try to explain this to Colonel Sheppard in a way that won't get me a permanent spot on the gossip board, okay?"

"I'll do my best sir," Nate promised, grateful for his CO's attempt at levity.

Lorne watched the three men file from the room and disappear from sight. As the guards came in and grabbed his arms and dragged him down the corridor away from the front door – apparently some manhandling had also been in the Minister's orders – a feeling of déjà vu came over him. Once again he'd lost time – done things he couldn't remember while under the influence of something foreign to him; only to be left feeling disconnected from himself and arrested for his 'crimes'.

The slamming of the cell door grated – both his head and his stomach protested and it was all he could do not to retch. The sooner someone from Atlantis could take a blood sample and prove he'd been drugged the better.

There were facilities as well as a bed in the small space but Lorne avoided the later as a place to sit on the grounds that he didn't know who or what had used them before him. Sliding down the wall, Evan sat on the floor instead, his hands hanging limply over his raised knees. Until his team returned with reinforcements he was on his own … and in the privacy of that moment he had to admit he was dreading whatever came next.


	10. Embarrassment

**Authors Note:**

Thank you to those who reviewed yesterday's chapter - this new chapter will probably be the last one for this week, next chapter to be posted Monday. In the meantime I'll catch up on review replies. Anyways, hope you enjoy the latest addition to the story. Thanks!

**Chapter 10: Embarrassment**

"_Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing."  
>Yoda<em>

"Doctor Keller, this is Colonel Carter. Can you report to the main conference room please?"

Jennifer frowned, dropping the pen she'd been updating records with and quickly standing. The Colonel's voice held a degree of urgency, but usually medical emergencies weren't discussed before they were acted on.

"On my way," she radioed back, closing her office door behind her and hurrying from the infirmary.

When she walked into the conference room and saw every member of Major Lorne's team was present – except for the Major himself – she couldn't help the feeling of dread that washed over her. "Colonel," she greeted Sam, raising a brow at Coughlin and getting a quick shake of the head in reply.

"Doctor Keller," Sam motioned for Jenn to sit down. Colonel Sheppard was also there and Jennifer glanced at him briefly before turning her attention to Carter.

"We have a … situation … on M8M-474," Sam began. "I think it best if Lieutenant Coughlin explains it firsthand. Lieutenant."

"Yes Ma'am," Nate didn't hesitate as he launched into an explanation that was so far from what Jennifer had been expecting she was almost speechless. "Major Lorne requested we get a medic there – before the drugs that woman slipped him clear his system," Nate finished.

"You're sure he was drugged?" Jennifer queried.

"Not one hundred percent, no," Nate admitted, "but Major Lorne definitely wasn't himself. He wasn't as sharp as usual and, excuse the description, he looked like he was about to hurl."

"Forgive me Lieutenant, but what you describe could just as easily be the effects of too much alcohol," Jennifer pointed out.

"No amount of getting drunk would make a guy's pupils that big," Nate countered. "Major Lorne's were completely black – even though it wasn't exactly well lit where they had us wait for him."

"Mmm," Jennifer's eyes narrowed consideringly. "That _does_ sound suspicious."

"Recommend someone who can accompany Colonel Sheppard's team back to the planet Doctor," Colonel Carter requested.

"If I may, I'd like to take this mission myself Colonel," Jennifer proposed, telling herself her reasons had nothing to do with wanting to see for herself that Evan would be cared for appropriately. "In all likelihood we may be able to find further evidence to support Major Lorne's innocence. I have some experience in forensics, more than any of the field medics on my staff."

"Very well Doctor," Sam agreed without protest. "Be ready to leave in ten minutes."

"Respectfully Ma'am, we'd like to go back there too," Coughlin requested, Reed and Chiang both nodding their agreement.

"I don't think that would be wise - I'm sorry Lieutenant," Jennifer spoke before Sam could. "Until we know if and with what Major Lorne was drugged we can't be sure the three of you aren't also affected. We need to get samples from you as well … you'll help Major Lorne much more by staying here than you could going back there right now."

Nate clenched his teeth, his expression grim, but he gave her a nod. Reed opened his mouth, looking ready to protest until Coughlin gave him a look and a quick shake of the head. Jennifer was right and they all knew it.

"Check your gear in and then report to the infirmary," Colonel Carter told the three disappointed men. "If we can determine that none of you are affected and there's cause to do so, you'll get to go back to assist Major Lorne's rescue."

"Thank you Ma'am," Nate said gratefully.

The meeting adjourned, Jennifer sprung up and hurried back to the infirmary to collect specialised forensics kits as well as anything else she thought might assist her, working on the assumption that she wouldn't get to bring evidence back to the city. An Ancient medical scanner, small portable microscope and centrifuge, as well as additional blood and saliva testing supplies all went in with the basic off world medical kit.

Grabbing both bags she called Doctor Cole in from standby duty to take over the rest of her shift, only briefly explaining that she was needed off world. She also gave the other doctor a heads up that Major Lorne's team would be arriving soon and that Amanda was to run every blood test possible, looking for anything foreign.

"Doctor," Marie called her aside when she was almost done packing. "Lieutenant Coughlin sent these," she said discretely, handing Jennifer a small bundle of clothing.

"Thank you," Jenn replied, taking the clothes and adding them to her pack, impressed with Nate's forethought and consideration for his team leader.

Just as the ten minutes were up Jennifer half ran across the Gateroom floor, coming to a halt beside Colonel Sheppard just as the kawhoosh burst from the Stargate.

"All set?" John asked her, his P-90 held casually at the ready.

"I hope so," Jennifer returned.

"You'll do fine," he said, waiting for Ronon to lead the way before he walked towards the wormhole, Rodney at his side. Aware that Teyla was bringing up the rear, Jennifer stepped forward and through the wormhole.

* * *

><p>Lorne wasn't sure how long it had been … by the time the cell door opened he was feeling better than he had when he'd woken up – usually that would be a good thing, except when you were hoping like hell you'd been drugged with something that would make it impossible for you to do what you were being accused of doing.<p>

"Major," Colonel Sheppard strode in first. When Evan saw who followed him in, he clenched his jaw, dismayed and mortified and wondering how it was possible for him to feel even more dread than he'd already been feeling.

"Sir," he stood up quickly, too quickly if the sudden dizziness was anything to go by.

"You're not looking too steady there Lorne," John noted, stepping forward ready to catch the other man if he needed it.

Evan gave his CO a 'ya think?' look as he braced himself before straightening to his full height. "Let's hope that's because I've been drugged Sir," he said sarcastically, "or else my week is about to get considerably more screwed up."

"That's what I'm here for," Jennifer spoke, holding up her medical bag. "Forensics kit," she explained.

"Right, sure," Lorne cringed internally. Only then did his brain make the connection between needing evidence and how that evidence was going to get collected. Maybe the Minister's punishment wouldn't have been as bad as he'd imagined after all.

"Buck up Major," John looked amused. "I'm sure you'll want to do whatever it takes to get out of here."

"Yes Sir," Lorne agreed, although he was no longer as sure that was true. In all likelihood, if the predicament he'd gotten himself into didn't cure Jennifer of her 'interest' in him, having to collect from him whatever the hell passed as forensic evidence in cases like this was sure to do so.

"Minister Quaero didn't give us a lot of time initially," Jennifer announced. She looked at Colonel Sheppard and then to Evan. "For now I'm going to take a blood sample, solely to look for the presence of anything foreign in your system. I'll then conduct a full SAFE kit with Atrala – that's going to take me a couple of hours. Since you can't remember what happened, I'm going to have to do the same with you."

"A SAFE kit?" Evan queried, sure she'd glossed over that one deliberately.

"A sexual assault forensic evidence kit," Jennifer expanded. "It contains a series of steps to collect every piece of evidence that can be used to determine victim and attacker. I can explain what's involved if that helps?"

"But I wasn't assaulted," Evan protested, aware of his CO silently observing him close by.

"How do you know?" Jennifer challenged quietly.

Lorne looked away, disturbed because she was right. He couldn't remember – how the hell could he be sure of anything? Face expressionless but for the renewed clenching of his jaw, he nodded.

"Okay, so let's take that blood first," Jennifer put her bag on the floor and knelt in front of him. He'd had enough blood tests over the years to appreciate how painless she made it. A couple of minutes later she had two vials stoppered and labelled and was standing again, dusting off the knees of her pants as she turned to John.

"I'll run some tests on this later – the important thing was to take the samples without further delay."

"So, back to Minister Quaero to meet his charming sister then?" John queried.

Jennifer nodded. "I'll be back as soon as I can," she told Evan. "Until then try not to do anything that will disturb any evidence you might have on you."

Right, like he had any idea what that meant. "No problem," he told her with false confidence. "I think you'll understand what I mean when I say don't hurry back."

Jennifer smiled. "This part will be over before you know it," she promised.

"I'd prefer it to be over _without_ me knowing it," he quipped back.

"I can always have Ronon stun you," Sheppard offered helpfully.

"Right now that's looking pretty attractive Sir," Lorne returned, only half in jest. Jennifer hesitated – he could see she was thinking about how to reassure him. "Go," he urged. "Get to Atrala before she can get rid of anything that incriminates her."

"Hang in there Major," Sheppard urged, putting a hand to Jennifer's back to escort her out.

When the door closed this time, Lorne couldn't help the faint shudder that ran through him. "_Don't think about it_," he told himself firmly. How had a simple refusal to entertain a woman's interest gone so horribly wrong? His future rested in the hands of Jennifer Keller now … he had to trust that she'd find the means to clear him.

* * *

><p>"That could have gone better," Jennifer muttered, walking beside John as they returned to Minister Quaero's office. The Minister's residence wasn't a house as such – from what she could tell it was an administrative building that included areas devoted to his work, space for his personal use, visitor and guard quarters, and the holding cells Major Lorne was currently occupying. They'd been told Evan would be shifted to the town's jail once the team had finished with their investigation – Jenn's mission had narrowed down to making sure that didn't happen.<p>

"Telling a man you're gonna have to …," Sheppard paused, gave a vague hand wave to replace the word he didn't want to use, and then continued "his man parts is never going to go well Doc," he told her. "Personally I thought he took it pretty well. And if worse comes to worse I really can have Ronon stun him."

"I usually prefer my patients to be conscious when I examine them, if at all possible," Jennifer said pointedly, "and besides, in this case I think it's important for Major Lorne to be fully aware of everything taking place, just in case …," she stopped abruptly.

"Just in case he really was assaulted," John finished, and suddenly it was all way too serious.

"And if he was?" Jennifer asked in a low tone.

"Then we make sure that woman never gets the chance to get her claws into anyone else," John promised. "And we do whatever it takes to help Lorne get past this, okay?"

"Okay," Jennifer swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, giving John a weak smile.

When they got to the Minister's office they found Lumenis in the middle of confronting a woman. Where the minister was tall, almost slender, his dark hair and green eyes standing out starkly against pale skin, the woman before him was all warmth and colour. Her lack of height didn't seem a disadvantage if the way she stood glaring up at Lumenis was any indicator. "I told you not to let Atrala out of your sight!" he shouted. "It was a simple request Dama. How was she able to evade you?"

"Was I supposed to escort her while she relieved herself husband?" Dama demanded irritably.

"Yes!" Lumenis turned away, only then spotting the Atlantis people standing in the doorway. "You have the samples from Major Lorne?" he queried, his shift to a more placid demeanour not hiding his prior agitation.

"The initial ones, yes," Jennifer replied. "I'd like to proceed with examining your sister now."

"Ah, yes, of course," the Minister grimaced.

"Do we have a problem Minister Quaero?" Sheppard asked intently.

"Perhaps," Lumenis sighed. "My wife allowed Atrala to use the facilities without escort. It seems my sister took the opportunity to wash and change clothes while she was in there."

"So, there goes that evidence," John said grimly, exchanging a worried glance with Jennifer.

Watching the Minister Jenn could see his sister's actions troubled him – he'd been full of anger when he'd allowed them entrance to his residence but had simmered down since then. That alone wouldn't help Evan. Unless she could find something that Atrala _couldn't_ wash away, nothing would.


	11. Avarice

**Authors Note:**

Arg, I'm on holidays from work at the moment and seem to have lost the ability to be organised! Thank you lovely reviewers for your comments last chapter - I'm glad people are still liking where this story is going. At some point I will get myself into review replying gear ... in the mean time, here is the next chapter, posted with a reminder about my Key Warnings for the story. There is discussion about assault and the investigation of it contained here (I have glossed over specific details to keep this to a T+ rating) - if that's going to bother you you may want to skim over this first half of this chapter. I researched all of this but of course I'm not an investigator myself or a doctor so please forgive any inaccuracies. Thanks.

**Chapter 11: Avarice**

"_Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all;  
>ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust."<br>Marquis de Sade_

Jennifer's first impressions of Atrala Quaero were of a too attractive woman used to getting her own way through any means. She looked very much like her brother in feminine form … Jennifer thought she knew enough of Evan Lorne to know he wasn't a man to Kirk around off world, and yet she had to wonder why he wouldn't want the kind of beauty and poise Atrala seemed to possess.

In fact the other woman was incredibly calm and composed. She did not strike Jenn as a woman who'd suffered a violent assault the previous night, despite the presence of severe bruising along her jaw and around her wrists and forearms. Trying to maintain an unbiased view, Jennifer approached the other woman as she would any victim of assault.

"Ma'am, I'm Doctor Jennifer Keller," she introduced herself gently, missing the way Atrala's gaze sharpened. "Your brother spoke with you about why I'm here?"

"Yes," Atrala replied, her tone less than welcoming. "You wish to find proof of your Major's innocence, but you will not. He wanted what I would not give, and in the way of all men, took for himself anyway."

"I'm not here to prove anything - just to find out what happened last night," Jennifer said quietly. "If it turns out that Major Lorne did what you accuse him of then so be it – we don't cover up the truth."

"Very well, conduct your exam," Atrala's voice held a hint of challenge Jennifer didn't understand.

"I'll need the clothes you were wearing last night," Jennifer began, waiting while Atrala got up from the bed, returning a few moments later with a neatly folded pile. Jenn bagged and tagged it carefully, before placing it to one side.

Carefully following all the steps to complete a thorough SAFE kit, Jennifer talked Atrala through each before she proceeded. The other woman was like a robot – no matter how personal the examination was, and a SAFE kit was about as personal at it got, the woman didn't flinch, hesitate, or show any signs of distress or discomfort. The interesting thing Jennifer noted from the first test onwards was that there _was_ evidence for her to collect – despite the Minister's wife confessing she'd let Atrala use the bathroom alone. Jenn could see where the other woman had attended to herself but she'd done it inconsistently … maybe that was because she'd still been distressed after her ordeal and not thinking straight, but Jennifer just didn't think so. It wasn't just the fact that Evan was the one standing accused that had Jennifer suspicious - the woman wasn't behaving anything like she should be. Something was off and Jenn was determined to find out what.

Once finished, with all the evidence stored away, she sat down, watching Atrala curiously. "Can I ask you to tell me what happened last night?"

"Your Major would not take no for an answer," Atrala reiterated. "What more is there to say?"

That was the second time Atrala had called Evan 'her' Major … said with a hint of contempt too. It meant something, Jenn was sure. She just didn't know what. "Usually in cases like this we have the victim take us through all the events that led up to the attack," she explained, "if you're up to it."

Atrala sighed dramatically. "I approached Major Lorne after our dancers had finished their display of traditional steps," she began.

Jennifer's brow rose, a fact Atrala noticed immediately. "Yes, I admit I instigated the series of events," she explained. "Does that excuse your Major of what followed?"

"No, of course not," Jenn returned. "What happened after you approached the Major?"

"I asked him to dance with me and he accepted," Atrala smiled. "You will agree he is quite attractive … and I don't believe I have ever seen anyone with eyes quite the colour of his." When Jennifer didn't acknowledge the comment, Atrala shrugged and then continued. "We danced just one dance before I announced that I would retire. It was late and I had an early start to awaken for. He asked if he could walk me back to my room. I was hesitant at first – I had observed him consume more than one measure of our celebration drink – it is quite potent. But he was humorous and charming in his pleas and so I agreed. He remained so until we arrived at my door when his manner changed. Before I knew it he had me inside the room with the door closed and locked. I demanded that he leave but he refused. I tried to hit him but he was too fast – and he made me pay for my defiance with this," she ran a finger over the bruise under her cheek bone. "Then he grabbed my wrists," she held both up, the dark, finger shaped bruises vivid against her pale skin, "and dragged me to the bed. He held me down, ripped at my clothing, and then he took me. Without any attempt to prepare me it hurt – I cried out but he was oblivious. When he was done taking his pleasure he withdrew, collapsing on the bed beside me. I was so stunned by what happened it took me a while to realise that he'd fallen asleep. I searched for the key he'd tossed after he locked the doors – and eventually, just after the sun rose, I found it. I ran from the room in search of my brother. The rest you know."

Jennifer remained quite throughout Atrala's succinct and emotionless recount – when the other woman fell silent she nodded. "I'm sorry for what happened to you," she said quietly. "If Major Lorne did what you said he will be punished."

"Did my brother not tell you the penalty for violating a woman here?"

"No, he didn't," Jennifer frowned. "What is it?"

"The victim has a choice – to have her attacker become less than a man, or submit to be her slave for life, the choice to be made as soon as he is declared guilty," Atrala smiled, her eyes glittering with triumph. "I believe I will enjoy having Major Lorne serve me."

"So … castration or slavery?" Jenn was horrified. Maybe it seemed a fitting punishment to someone who _had_ experienced an attack as horrible as the one Atrala described, but in that circumstance it seemed unlikely anyone would choose to make their attacker their slave, to be reminded of the event every day. If she couldn't prove Evan's innocence, would Colonel Carter allow him to be subjected to either punishment? How far could Atlantis conceivably go to rescue him? Panic rose in her stomach, making her feel sick as the seriousness of the situation hit home.

"You think us barbaric?" Atrala accused, misinterpreting her reaction.

"It's not my place to comment on the customs of others," Jennifer said quietly, standing and gathering her medical bag and the evidence she'd collected. "I'll need to examine your room next."

"My brother will arrange it," Atrala said dismissively, waving a hand towards the door.

As a dismissal it was beyond rude – Jennifer had to bite her tongue to refrain from commenting. Anger rose to replace the panic, fueling her steps as she strode from the room. Once outside the door, she stopped, gathering her emotions as she focused on what needed to be done next.

"Doc?" John straightened from where he'd been standing guard.

"Not here," Jennifer strode down the corridor, back to the room Minister Quaero had assigned for her investigation. Rodney had set up all the electronic equipment in her absence and she gave him a grateful look.

"So?" John queried once they were inside with the door closed. Teyla rose as soon as Jennifer appeared, her expression watchful. Ronon was already standing at the only window, in a position that would allow him to keep track of what was going on outside as well as watch the room's only entrance.

"No way was that woman raped last night," Jennifer declared angrily.

"So we're done then? You found evidence to prove that?" Sheppard queried hopefully.

"Oh, she's much cleverer than that," Jenn spat out. "She _was_ attacked and violated roughly enough to leave the right kind of marks behind – but I'll bet my medical degree it was all with her full cooperation and at her own instigation."

"Wait, you're telling me she wanted to make Lorne look guilty so badly that she let some other guy rough her up?" John asked incredulously.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Jennifer shot back.

"Can you prove that?" he asked.

"She's not quite as smart as she thinks she is," Jenn said fiercely. "She washed away some evidence but not all of it, and she couldn't wash away the sperm left by whoever she roped into her little scheme."

"Ew, _way_ too much information!" Rodney protested loudly.

"I have a sample I can use for DNA matching," Jennifer continued, ignoring Rodney's squeamishness. "It should help prove that Major Lorne wasn't her attacker."

"So you won't need to do the kit on him?" John queried.

"Not immediately," Jennifer allowed. "Those tests need to be done within 72 hours of the event though. I can delay it for the moment, but if I haven't proved Major Lorne wasn't present during Atrala's attack by then, I'll have to proceed."

"Well then, get to it Doc," Sheppard urged.

"While I get started I'm going to need you to go to Atrala's room and collect all the bedding plus anything else that could hold clues we can use to clear Major Lorne. Atrala said her brother would clear it with the guards so you might need to speak to him first," Jennifer announced. Handing John a few large evidence bags, she added "you can put everything in these. Make sure you touch each item as little as possible."

"Collect _used_ bedding," John repeated, distaste evident.

"That's right," Jennifer looked at him expectantly. "You can do that, right?"

"I can," John agreed. "I'm just not sure I want to."

"I will accompany you," Teyla offered.

"Okay, so Teyla and I will go collect evidence," John grimaced when he said that, "Ronon will continue to stand guard – we don't really know these people's agenda but I'm trusting them less and less."

"And I'll stay and help Jennifer," Rodney finished before John could assign him something equally distasteful as collecting used bed sheets.

"You can stay – just don't distract Keller," Sheppard ordered. Motioning to Teyla he grabbed the evidence bags and left the room. Ronon stayed inside the room for a few moments and then muttered that he needed to survey the surrounding corridors.

Looking at all the samples she'd taken, Jenn sighed before moving to her equipment. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>"That can't be right." Frowning, Jenn leaned back from the table a couple of hours later, her eyes locked on her computer screen.<p>

"What can't be right?" Rodney queried. He'd been so quiet that she'd almost forgotten he was there, using the time to work on something on his own computer. Sometimes it didn't make sense that someone of Rodney's skills accompanied team Sheppard on every mission … until you remembered the unexpectedness of the many times they'd needed his skills out in the field.

"This result," Jennifer explained. "I've tested everything I got from Atrala. The DNA from the sperm sample definitely doesn't match Major Lorne."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"It is, of course, but I also have hair and skin cells that do match the Major."

"Didn't he wake up in that woman's bed?" Rodney looked uncomfortable discussing something even remotely connected to sexual activity but he persisted anyway. "That would explain your evidence."

"It would, except the samples were taken directly from Atrala … from places someone without intimate knowledge wouldn't have access to," Jenn explained. "We might suspect Atrala planted the evidence on herself - she bathed while unattended but did a pretty poor job of it if her motive was to remove all the evidence, so it fits. Unfortunately it's not about what we know - it's about what we can prove. I don't think what I have so far is going to be enough to convince Minister Quaero that Major Lorne is innocent."

"Oh," Rodney swallowed. "That's bad … unless," he broke off, his 'idea' face emerging.

"Unless what?" Jennifer demanded.

"Unless you can use the DNA sample that doesn't match Lorne to identify the person who, you know, deposited it with Atrala," Rodney suggested.

"That … might just work," Jennifer smiled, "especially if we can use it to prompt a confession."

"Of course, there might be quite a few men who had access and opportunity and it might be hard to identify them all," Rodney said less positively.

"And I'll still have to do a SAFE kit with Major Lorne," Jennifer realised. Not that she had any qualms about conducting those kinds of tests with Evan … she could be a professional and she'd seen enough 'man parts' as John referred to them, to genuinely think nothing of it. Still, Evan wasn't just another patient – she was attracted to him and in all honestly wasn't sure how that was going to affect her ability to be impartial once he started stripping off his clothes. She'd never been attracted to a patient before and that's what Evan now was – her patient. Maybe she could get him to collect the more intimate evidence himself – that was accepted practice for sperm donations, why not for this? Except, maybe it would call too much attention to her if she made a big deal out of not doing the kit herself - wouldn't he find that suspicious?

"This is insane," she muttered under her breath.

"It's not looking good," Rodney heard her, and thankfully misinterpreted what she was referring to. "I'll radio Sheppard and get him to talk to Minister Quaero – get us a list of potential suspects. This is a secure building so they should have something like that. You go do … whatever you have to do with Lorne. Ronon can go with you."

"Okay," Jennifer for once was happy to have someone else take charge. Gathering up the second SAFE kit she'd brought along, as well as the change of clothes Coughlin had given her for Evan, she gave Rodney a less than confident smile before opening the door. "I need to go and see Major Lorne," she told Ronon.

Nodding, he fell into step beside her. Thankfully the minister hadn't seen the need to assign his own guards to them, so they were free to move about the building without having to watch every word.

"You gonna do one of those kit things on Lorne?" Ronon asked as they walked.

"Unfortunately yes," Jennifer replied.

"Will it help get him out of this?"

"I hope so," she glanced at Ronon. "You didn't think for even just a moment that he was guilty of this?"

"Nope," Ronon said simply. "He has honour." That said it all – no man of honour would do what Lorne was being accused of.

Jennifer smiled. "Yes he does," she agreed.

The holding cells on the other hand _were_ guarded. Ronon all but demanded they be allowed to talk to Lorne – without an audience. Maybe Minister Quaero had already cleared her to visit whenever she needed, or maybe Ronon had been intimidating enough to scare them – either way they let her pass without question.

"I'll wait out here – call me if you need help," Ronon told her.

Nodding, Jennifer steeled herself, pasted an encouraging expression on her face, and walked through to the holding cells.


	12. Honesty

**Author's Note:**

Thanks to those who reviewed for last night's chapter - issuing more of the same warnings re investigation of alleged sexual assault for this chapter, even with my having glossed over the specific details. I really don't know what a real doctor would do in this kind of situation and so have taken author's license with regard to how Jennifer would approach it. Hope that's believable! Thanks for reading!

**Chapter 12: Honesty**

"_It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."  
>Henry Louis Mencken<em>

Evan stood up as soon as Jennifer back walked through his cell door, alone this time. "That was quick," he joked, because it had been a few hours. He wasn't complaining – he'd happily wait for hours more if it meant he didn't have to see that look on her face, one he'd title 'I have bad news and then I have worse news'.

"I'm sorry," Jennifer apologised. "I was hoping I could get what I needed without having to do this."

"But you didn't?" He kept his expression blank to hide his disappointment.

"Atrala messed with the evidence before we could get to her," Jennifer admitted.

"_Damn_," Evan turned away, his hands on his hips as he contemplated just how screwed he was. "Did you get anything?"

"More than she'd planned on, even with what looks like some careful manipulation on her part." The satisfaction in her voice had him turning back to regard her curiously. "Some evidence goes too deep to wash away."

"Oh … right, of course," Evan was pretty sure he hadn't kept all of the distaste off his face, if her amused half smile was any indicator. "So if you have that kind of evidence – not from me right?" he stopped to check.

"No, not from you," Jennifer confirmed.

The relief was immense … he hadn't inadvertently been used to perpetuate the lie Atrala was spinning – one less thing he had to deal with in the long run. "If you have that evidence," he went on, "then why do you need more?"

"Because I found evidence that contradicts it," Jennifer admitted. "I managed to get some hair and skin samples from places that incriminate the donor." She met Evan's eyes. "They _do_ match the DNA samples we had on file for you."

"So I got her naked and then some other guy did the deed?" Evan grimaced, the mental images that one raised not something he wanted to examine anytime soon.

"I don't think so but without further evidence it's going to be hard to argue otherwise," Jenn replied. "There have been cases where sperm from a prior partner was still present after a rape took place – particularly with the use of condoms and spermicidal creams. That makes what I have so far inconclusive. I don't want to take this to Minister Quaero until I can prove to him without a doubt that you didn't hurt his sister."

"I'm not in the habit of carrying a supply of rubbers with me whenever I go off world," Evan protested, "and I can't _believe_ I'm having this conversation with you." He turned away, crossing his arms over his chest, on the defensive. This situation really blew … in general and his chances with Jennifer in the future. If she was still looking at him as a potential romantic partner after this he'd ask her out in the middle of the Mess Hall during the busiest shift, in front of his entire team!

"We'll get to the bottom of this Evan," Jennifer promised.

"What about the blood sample?" he asked hopefully. "Did you at least work out what they gave me?"

"I haven't had a chance to test it yet," she admitted. "I wanted to process all of Atrala's samples first, because if none of the samples matched you, it would have been the end of it. Now things are a little more complicated, I'll process your blood samples when I return to the lab Minister Quaero assigned us."

"Okay," Evan uncrossed his arms, moving to the slit in the wall that passed as a window. He could see from the way the light travelled that late afternoon was approaching. Jennifer had achieved a lot in a relatively short span of time - he had to take something positive from that. She didn't need the pressure of his bad mood weighing her down.

"I know you don't want to do this," Jennifer reminded him of what she was there for, "and I'll try to make it as painless as possible, but the best way for me to work out the truth is to do the same kit with you that I did with Atrala - any manipulation of the facts she's done will show up as inconsistencies against your test results."

"You're right, I _don't_ want to do this Jennifer," he agreed, turning to face her, "but not for the reasons you're thinking. I was comfortable with Carson – he was a friend. But you … I just …," he trailed off, not sure how to put into words something he was still trying to work out for himself.

"I understand," she said in a low voice. "You don't trust me like you did him. I can get one of the medics to come in from Atlantis – would that work?"

"No, you don't get it," Evan grabbed her hand and held on, waiting for her to look at him. "There's no way to say this without sounding incredibly presumptuous so I'll just apologise up front. The reason I'm not keen on you doing those particular tests on me is because if you're gonna see me naked I'd rather it be for all the _right_ reasons." It was blunt and cruder than he was used to being but Evan couldn't see any other way to word it and he didn't have time to verbally step carefully.

It took a moment for her to work out what he meant and then she blushed vividly. "Oh," she looked at him from under her lashes and then just as quickly looked away.

"Yeah, _oh_," he gave a less than cheery chuckle before letting her go and moving to sit on the bed. "It surprised the heck out of me too – I haven't had a chance to think any of this through but this whole situation is kind of forcing my hand. Only now, the way I see it, once we're done here there's no way anything I could imagine in the future – between us I mean – is a possibility." He shook his head. "The situation is what it is, so I'm ready if you are."

"You are an extremely frustrating man," Jennifer stated with authority. "Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"Ah, no, not really," Evan's brow rose at her unexpected reaction. "How exactly am I frustrating?"

"I'm not sure we have time to cover all the reasons," she replied irritably, moving to sit next to him. "The ones at the forefront right now are that you think I can't separate you as a patient from you as anything else - maybe I was worried about that before I got here but not because it's going to affect how I see you. Secondly, worse than that, you actually think I would judge you because a selfish woman too used to getting her own way is manipulating things so she can make you her slave for life."

"Whoa, back up," he ordered. "You were worried about me being your patient for this? No way are you not explaining that one!"

He was watching her closely - there was no way he could miss the flush of redness creeping up Jennifer's neck, nor the way she carefully didn't look at him directly. "Maybe I've had a few thoughts along the same lines as yours," she admitted evasively.

"Really?" the delighted grin spread over his face and lit up his eyes. "Since when?"

"Now isn't the time to discuss this," she said primly. "Once I have what we need to get you out of here, _then_ I'll tell you."

"Okay, so explain the slave for life thing," Evan let her evade for the time being. He'd get his chance … later.

"It's why Atrala did all this," Jennifer told him. "She decided she wants you – since you refused she's manufactured the rape story because if you're found guilty she gets to decide whether they castrate you or make you act as her slave for the foreseeable future."

"Tough choice," he quipped, earning a laugh. Shaking his head, he turned serious. "I can't believe this … maybe you should go tell her I'm really not worth all this effort. Feel free to highlight as many of my flaws as you think will do the trick."

"It's not about you," Jennifer said, adding when he looked confused, "Okay, it _is_ about you, but only peripherally. She's used to getting her way and you dared to refuse her, not once but every time she approached you. It's about dealing with the rejection the only way she knows how, not about having you. I bet once you're her slave she'll lose interest, no offence."

"Oh, none taken, believe me," Lorne replied. "I wish she'd already gotten to that point."

"Me too," Jennifer said softly.

They sat for a moment in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. He couldn't hazard a guess as to what hers were about although he hoped they featured him and a much happier situation. "You wanna get this over with?" he asked.

"Yes, and I think we can work this to preserve your modesty and ease your concerns about ah ... the future," Jennifer proposed. "As long as I don't leave the room, there's no reason why you can't do most of this stuff yourself, with my instruction."

"Are we gonna have code words for all the embarrassing parts?" he joked.

"If you can't handle the medically correct terms, then yes, you can have code words," she teased back. Taking out the first of the labelled boxes she handed it to him. "Finger nail samples," she announced.

That sounded easy enough – and was quickly completed. She could have done that one for him with no embarrassment but he understood she was easing him into it with a few early wins – plus watching to make sure he wasn't all thumbs. Handing her the completed sample he smiled. "Next."

"This one is going to hurt a little," she announced, handing him the second box. He looked at her suspiciously. "Hair samples," she said with a smile.

"Right, well that shouldn't be hard. I've been pulling my hair out in frustration since they threw me in here," he took the box, following the instructions to pull a few head hairs out from too many locations, giving an exaggerated groan of pain every time. "You're right, that one hurt," he said, giving her the evidence pouch back.

"They were the easy ones," Jennifer told him. "Now I need your clothes."

"And I assume I can't still be wearing them," Lorne stood, glancing down at himself ruefully. "Tell me you have something else for me to wear stashed in that bag of yours."

"Lieutenant Coughlin gave me a set of clothes for you, but you'll need to do a few things before I can let you put them on," Jennifer admitted. "I'm going to sit right here, with my back to you, and talk you through it, okay?"

"Okay," Evan watched her shift until she was sitting on the end of the bed, giving him plenty of room and plenty of privacy. "I have to tell you that I'm missing a few items of clothing here," he said, pulling off his t-shirt and folding it into the evidence bag.

"What items?" Jennifer queried. "Colonel Sheppard and Teyla are collecting evidence in Atrala's room – I can alert them to keep an eye out."

"Yes, because I really want my CO looking for my lost underwear," Evan shot back. Unzipping his pants, he pushed them down over his unadorned manhood, letting them drop to the floor before he stepped out of them and folded them too, zipping the evidence bag up once he had them placed inside. "Okay, done" he announced.

"That was quick," Jennifer said.

"When you only have two items to take off it doesn't take a long time to get undressed," he sat back down on the bed, too aware that he was buck naked and in the same room with Jennifer Keller … and it was cold. "Okay, this is strange," he muttered.

"Very," she agreed. "Get ready for it to get stranger." Then she told him what she wanted him to do, her tone compassionate while being cool and professional as well. He did what she asked quickly and cleanly, glossing over the embarrassment and the disturbing aspects, glossing over how much worse it would be if he had any memory of what happened the previous night and had some stranger examining him. At that point he appreciated even more how far she'd gone to make the whole thing as painless for him as possible. One thing she was right about – plucking hairs from his head wasn't nearly as painful as plucking them from other places. She'd laughed when he'd noted that, both aware that he was using humour did help him get through everything she asked of him.

Finally she announced that he could put his replacement boxer shorts on.

"There are a couple of final things," she told him once he had. "I'd like to do a visual inspection – just the areas you can't see yourself. Is that okay?"

"Sure," he sat down, too aware that this would count as the first time she'd seen him bare-chested, and trying very hard not to be self conscious about that.

"You have a tattoo?" she asked as soon as she turned around, clearly surprised. It was probably in his medical file but Jennifer didn't strike him as the type to read up on anyone's personal background unless there was a need.

"Hard to hide it," he looked down at the design on his right bicep with a rueful smile. "Evidence of a moment of recklessness in my youth," he admitted. "I changed it a couple of years back – the old design is still there underneath, but this one actually has some significance."

"What does it mean?" Jennifer leaned close, her eyes tracing the intricate design.

"Ask me again another day," he said softly. "Now stop ogling me and get back to work."

"Like I said – extremely frustrating," Jennifer muttered. Getting up she gave him the fine tooth comb treatment – if he had any evidence on him she would have found it with how closely she was looking. She combed through his hair too, and every time her breath wafted over his skin he had to fight the answering shiver. It shouldn't have been sexy in any way, and it wasn't, but he couldn't deny there was the edge of desire or attraction or whatever you wanted to call it still glimmering underneath his embarrassment.

"Okay, you can get dressed now," she finally told him.

"About time," he complained, moving swiftly to pull on the fresh shirt and pants. "So we're done?"

"Not quite," Jennifer held up a long, familiar looking swab. "I know we have your DNA on file already but I still need to do this. Open wide," she requested, running the swab across his gum line and over the inside of his cheeks and then repeating the same thing with another one. "Again," she requested, placing a folded filter paper circle in his mouth this time, leaving it there for a few moments before she used a small set of tweezers to remove it, storing it quickly. "I need to take another blood sample and then we're done," she announced with a relieved smile.

"Back to the familiar," he joked.

Finally it was all done and the scary number of evidence pouches they'd generated sealed and packed away. "I need to get started processing these," Jennifer said, "but I hate leaving you here alone."

"I'm fine Jennifer, just go and find something that'll get me out of here," Evan smiled. "Although, if you happen to stumble across my boots I wouldn't say no to you taking a break to bring them down here."

"I'll see what I can do," Jennifer promised. Picking up her bags she gave him a look that said she was still torn between staying and going, even as she moved towards the cell doors.

"Hey, Jennifer," he called just as she knocked for them to come and open the door again. She looked back at him. "Thanks for making that bearable," he said simply.

"You're welcome Evan," she smiled and then she was gone.

"Alone again," he muttered, "and slightly better dressed." Glancing down at his bare feet he tried to remember the last time he'd gone so long without shoes. Probably his last vacation at his Mom's – days spent painting on the beach. Casting his mind back to those days, he let himself drift, nothing to do but wait for Jennifer to save him.


	13. Dismay

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for your reviews for the previous chapter ... powering along posting this one so thank you all for keeping up with me too! No warnings this time *grins* ... I googled lots for this chapter, not being a medical professional of any sort, so please forgive any inaccuracies.

**Chapter 13: Dismay**

"_Do not take yourself too seriously. You have to learn not to be dismayed at making mistakes.  
>No human being can avoid failures."<br>Lawrence G. Lovasik_

Colonel Sheppard and Teyla weren't back from searching Atrala's room when Jennifer and Ronon got back to the work area they'd been given. Rodney was also missing; Jennifer could only conclude that he'd been roped in to assist in the search for clues.

"Can I do anything?" Ronon asked, stopping just inside the door.

"Not really," Jennifer said, giving him a grateful smile. "Thank you for escorting me back here Ronon. If you need to touch base with Colonel Sheppard and the others, don't let me stop you. I'll be fine here by myself."

Ronon gave her a 'not happening' look and then pulled out his radio. "I'll find out where Sheppard is from here."

"Of course you will," Jennifer murmured, kind of touched that he was prepared to stay and be bored with nothing to do but guard her.

"Do your tests," Ronon asserted, moving to stand watch at the window as he keyed his radio on.

Tuning out the one sided status report – with Ronon's one word responses to whatever the Colonel was telling him, Jenn was no more enlightened on what the rest of the team was doing – she pulled out the first sample of blood she'd taken from Evan that morning. She used a portion of the first vial to separate the blood plasma from the blood cells, using the portable centrifuge. Screening for drugs was usually done by immunoassay but that required prior identification of antibody/antigen pairings, which for unknown substances originating in another galaxy just wasn't possible. Thankfully Carson had developed an Ancient 'dipstick' of sorts, using substances he'd referenced either directly or through the Ancient database. She could compare her sample against that. Ideally it would be better to make use of the medical equipment back on Atlantis but in the absence of that, at the very least she could screen Evan's blood to determine the presence of something foreign. It wouldn't tell her what – for that she'd need additional confirmation tests using the Ancient equivalent of mass spectrometry. Hopefully Minister Quaero would allow her to send back samples to Atlantis if that proved necessary.

Setting the centrifuge running, Jennifer used the remainder of the first vial to measure Evan's blood alcohol levels. The result came back immediately – 0.047. At that level the only impairment she'd likely see would be lowered concentration – certainly nothing near the total lack of memory Evan had suffered. Even with the delay in taking the sample the reading would have been higher if alcohol alone was behind him not being able to remember anything. It took time for alcohol to clear the blood stream – twelve hours later around a third of the alcohol Evan consumed should still be in his system. Doing the math, that would make his highest reading during the prior evening around 0.14 – not high enough for memory blackouts to occur.

The result leant some weight to the Major's belief that he'd been drugged, but alcohol might not be the drink's only active ingredient – the potency could be achieved through the inclusion of other substances. She'd need a sample to determine the full ingredients, to be able to assess its impact on the human body as well as match against whatever she found in Evan's blood sample.

When the centrifuge machine beeped, signalling the separation was complete, Jenn called up Carson's screening program. Once ready, she used the medical scanner, the results transferring directly to her computer. When the program completed its cycle there was only one substance unidentified.

"Hmm," Jenn sat back in her chair, a half smile touching her face for a moment.

"Good news?" Ronon queried.

"Maybe," Jennifer replied. "Atrala mentioned something she said Major Lorne drank – given the level of alcohol in his blood that was definitely one of the ingredients, but not the cause of his blacking out. I need some of the drink to be able to determine how it might have affected him."

"You need to talk to the Minister," Ronon deduced.

"Yes please," she agreed.

"Let's go," Ronon waited for her to join him before striding down the corridor to Quaero's office. The leader had 'gatekeeper' staff whose job it was to make sure he wouldn't be bothered. When Ronon spoke, his request sounding more like a demand, and they were allowed entry to the Minister's office Jennifer concluded that Lumenis had given prior permission for them to approach.

"Minister," she said respectfully once they were inside and standing in front of the leader's desk.

"Doctor," he replied, his expression so stern it was clear he was still angered by what he perceived to be the events of the prior night. "You require something more than the full cooperation I have already given?"

"I know this is difficult," she said softly, "but yes, I do. Atrala mentioned a drink she thought Major Lorne had consumed during the banquet. I require a sample."

"Terrene wine," Lumenis said bluntly. "It can be debilitating if abused. My assistant will arrange for a sample to be delivered to your work area Doctor, but I must warn you. Intoxication due to Terrene wine is not an accepted defence against actions taken while under its influence."

"Nor is it for the equivalent on our world," Jennifer returned. "With your permission Minister, I would like to take some of the Terrene wine along with one of the blood samples I took from Major Lorne back to Atlantis. We have equipment there that will allow me to break down the elements Terrene wine is composed of to determine if it's what I found in the Major's blood."

Lumenis frowned, considering the request from his perspective. Jennifer fully expected him to question how he could be sure they wouldn't doctor the results if he allowed the samples to be taken from his planet. Maybe he thought as much but eventually he gave a curt nod. "Very well Doctor. You may return to Atlantis and test these items there."

"Thank you," Jennifer moved to leave, assuming that was the end of the conversation.

"And how goes your investigation Doctor?" Lumenis asked. "I assume you have yet to find something to prove Major Lorne's innocent, else you would have already knocked on my door demanding his release."

"No, I haven't found anything conclusive," Jennifer admitted. She considered the other man for a moment and then decided how much to reveal. He had shown them a great deal of trust, which under the circumstances was commendable – he deserved her trust in return, even though it would paint his sister in an unfavourable light. "What I've found so far is inconsistent, Minister. I have evidence that places Major Lorne with Atrala in a manner that could suggest his guilt, but the most telling evidence that would confirm it without doubt, does not match the Major. I'm not sure at this stage what will help me work out why."

"I see," Lumenis clenched his jaws for a moment and then nodded. "Please, do not let me delay you from your tasks Doctor."

"Of course," Jennifer stood. "Thank you for your time and cooperation Minister," she said, taking her leave with Ronon walking beside her. Outside, the Minister's assistant agreed to get them some Terrene wine – Jennifer elected to wait and a few minutes later had a dark glass bottle half full of liquid to take with her.

They took a detour to collect the sample she wanted Amanda Cole to test for her and then Jenn and Ronon walked out into the street and from there down the road leading to the Stargate.

"He doubts Atrala's story," Jennifer commented.

Ronon nodded. "Looks like," he agreed.

"That might help us," Jennifer continued.

"Or he might decide to protect his sister by sacrificing Lorne," Ronon pointed out.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Jennifer said glumly.

* * *

><p>"Colonel Carter, this is Doctor Keller," Jennifer spoke into the radio, the signal being sent back to Atlantis through the open wormhole.<p>

"How goes it Doctor?" Sam queried.

Jennifer quickly filled her in on their progress, or lack of it, before telling the Colonel what she wanted to do.

"Of course Doctor," Sam immediately agreed. "Chuck is alerting Doctor Cole that you're on your way."

"Thank you Colonel," Jennifer handed the radio back to Ronon. "You'll fill Colonel Sheppard in?" she hesitated, feeling like she was abandoning Evan by returning to Atlantis, even briefly.

"We'll all be fine until you get back," Ronon said.

Smiling, Jennifer clutched the Terrene wine tighter and stepped through the wormhole.

Amanda Cole was waiting for her when she arrived in the city. "Doctor Keller," she said, the two women walking quickly towards the infirmary. "I've completed toxicity screening on the rest of Major Lorne's team. They all came back negative for the presence of anything on Carson's screening protocol. I also ran a comparison with their last blood donations and nothing emerged as newly present."

"That's good," Jennifer said. "I have a sample of something Major Lorne consumed last night as well as blood plasma I've also screened – there's something there that's unidentified."

"Are we hoping it matches what's in that bottle or not?" Amanda queried.

They'd reached the infirmary and Jennifer headed straight for one of the labs. "Not," she said succinctly, "because then we can confirm he was drugged somehow. If this turns out to be something he drank willingly then it's not going to help his case."

"Right, so let's find out which it is," Amanda said purposefully.

With the equipment on Atlantis it didn't take long to get results – both women sat glumly, eyes on the readouts. "It's a component of the drink," Jennifer shook her head.

"The concentration in Major Lorne's blood is very high though," Amanda pointed out. "If this acts similarly to the alcohol also present he'd have had to drink a number of bottles of this stuff to still have so much of it in his blood 12 hours later."

"We _can't_ assume absorption rates are the same," Jennifer pointed out.

"I could run some simulations," Amanda suggested. "It'll take some time but we have enough of the liquid for a series of tests."

"Yes, that's a good idea," Jennifer agreed. "While you're doing that I'll talk to Lieutenant Coughlin about how much of the wine Major Lorne consumed. Then I'll need to head back to Yanoma."

"I'll keep you posted on my results," Amanda promised.

Standing, Jennifer used the intercom to contact Coughlin, requesting that he report to her office. He must have jogged to get there as fast as he did.

"Ma'am," he looked at her hopefully.

"I'm still working on clearing Major Lorne," she said up front, "that's why I need to talk to you. The Major wasn't drugged Lieutenant, but he did have a high concentration of one of the components making up Terrene wine, as well as a blood alcohol reading of 0.04. That suggests he consumed a large quantity of the drink during the banquet."

"That can't be right," Nate frowned, eyes cast inwards as he thought back to the previous evening. "I was seated next to Major Lorne during the sit down portion of the night – he didn't drink any of the Terrene wine, none of us did."

"None at all?" Jennifer queried, surprised.

"No Ma'am," Nate said confidently. "We tried it back during the first mission. It knocks you around, even just a small amount. Gives you a bitch of a headache the next day too. No way did any of us want to repeat that experience."

"As far as the blood work shows, Major Lorne _did_ consume Terrene wine, Lieutenant, and a lot of it," Jennifer shook her head. "Was there a time during the evening when the Major was separated from the rest of you?"

"Briefly, at the end, after that dancing thing was done," Coughlin admitted. "Maybe Major Lorne humoured Atrala and accepted one drink to be polite then … but honestly, I don't think so. He was always very careful with her – wouldn't even address her by her first name even though she kept asking him to."

"None of what I've found so far makes any sense." Jenn stopped, thinking for a moment. "What can you tell me about the Minister's sister?"

"She was interested in Major Lorne from the first day we were introduced to her," Nate offered. "I don't think he noticed at first. They've thrown a banquet every time we've gone there. The first one, Atrala asked the Major to dance with her. He politely refused and she seemed to take it well, but then the next time we were there it was the same thing all over again."

"And he never gave her any reason to think he welcomed her attention?" Jennifer tried not to show that Evan being repeatedly propositioned by a beautiful woman bothered her even in the slightest. It didn't, not exactly – there was just a lot of distance between herself and a woman like Atrala.

"You're just starting to get to know the Major Ma'am," Nate said implacably. "When you do, you'll understand why that would never be the case. His conduct is always above reproach."

"I wasn't suggesting anything untoward Lieutenant," Jennifer replied. "But you have to agree, Atrala Quaero is very attractive."

"The Major would never say anything but I don't think he likes her very much," Nate revealed, his eyes assessing her reactions. "She's cold … calculating ... and frankly more than a little scary."

"She's certainly very calm and collected," Jenn agreed. "Did she ever seem disgruntled with Major Lorne?"

"Not in a way that I could point to as a motive for her to set him up like this," Coughlin replied.

"So, you think that's what this is?"

"Without question," Coughlin returned grimly.

"Don't worry Lieutenant – if that's true I won't stop until I've proved it," Jennifer promised.

"Can we escort you back to Yanoma?" Nate asked once it was clear Jenn had no further questions.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said reluctantly. "The Minister was gracious about letting me come back here but I could tell his suspicions would be easily raised. I don't want to do anything that would jeopardise his continuing cooperation."

Nate didn't look happy but he nodded. "Then please tell Major Lorne that we won't give up on him – we'll come and break him out of there if we have to."

"I'll pass on your message," Jenn promised, smiling.

After Nate left her office Jenn checked back with Doctor Cole, not surprised to find the other woman would need a few hours more before they had a better understanding of Terrene wine's effect on the human body. Keen to get back to Yanoma to begin processing the other evidence she'd collected from Evan, Jennifer quickly updated Colonel Carter via radio on her actions and the need for Amanda's results to be forwarded to her on Yanoma. An hour after arriving on Atlantis Jenn was on her way back to the planet and her mission to prove Evan innocent.


	14. Vengefulness

**Author's Note:**

Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter ... nice to see so much caring for Lorne and respect for Keller, as well as a healthy dose of distaste for Atrala *grins*. After this chapter there are another four to go so I'll try to keep posting one a night until it's done. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter 14: Vengefulness**

"_Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice. Injuries are revenged; crimes are avenged."  
>Samuel Johnson<em>

Jennifer spent the next couple of hours working alone, on the SAFE kit evidence pouches from Evan as well as the various items the Colonel had dropped off to the lab just after she'd returned from the Major's cell.

Along with the bed sheets he'd also collected a couple of used glasses, the contents of a small pot Atrala must have used as a waste basket, and Evan's missing clothes. His boots hadn't turned up – for a moment Jennifer imagined Atrala was keeping them as some kind of sick trophy but more likely she'd just hidden them to keep Evan feeling vulnerable. Colonel Sheppard and his team had then left her to her testing – John and Teyla to get a list of everyone who would have had access to the building the night before by talking to Minister Quaero and his staff, Rodney and Ronon to learn more about their technological capability in the guise of providing some 'goodwill' assessment and advice while they were there. Ronon would also be assessing their military capability too, John as well. Jennifer didn't feel alone in the lab though – the Colonel and Ronon both radioed her regularly and the later had gone as far as insisting she lock the door and not let anyone in without checking with him first.

"What's our status Doc?" John asked as soon as they'd all regrouped back at the makeshift lab.

"I hope you have that list of suspects ready to go Colonel," Jenn said dismally.

"So, not good?" Sheppard frowned.

"Not especially," Jennifer agreed. She looked to where Teyla stood beside John and from there to Ronon and Rodney, unsure how much she should say with them all in earshot. Evan didn't need more than the most necessary people knowing his private business.

"Teyla, take Ronon and Rodney to set up a room for Jennifer to interview our suspects," the Colonel ordered, understanding her restraint immediately. "Okay, hit me," he said as soon as they were alone.

"I haven't spoken to Major Lorne yet but … well it looks like he and Atrala _were_ in that bed together … intimately together, although thank God not as intimately as we feared initially," Jenn revealed.

"You're sure?" John looked grim – it wasn't the news he'd been hoping for.

"Before I ran the Major's tests I'd hoped that somehow she'd planted the evidence on herself, that I wouldn't find consistent evidence on him," Jennifer explained. "Unfortunately, the location of hair and fibre samples I took from Atrala that match Major Lorne's DNA were consistent with the ones I got from him, and match Atrala. The sheeting confirms that – without the presence of any unidentified samples."

"So she drugged him, stripped him and then got into bed with him, all to support her story?" John looked sickened by the prospect.

"It looks like it, although I can't prove the drugging part either," Jennifer admitted.

"What about the blood you took this morning?"

"I tested Major Lorne's first blood sample before I completed the other tests," Jennifer explained. "He had a high concentration of components from something called Terrene wine still present in his blood stream – it's a high potency celebratory drink they served last night at the banquet. Atrala suggested Major Lorne consumed a large amount and that contributed to his behaviour towards her. When I went back to Atlantis I spoke to Lieutenant Coughlin and he was very sure the Major didn't drink anything – not when he was sitting at the table. There's no one to speak of what happened once the banquet finished."

"So as far at Minister Quaero is concerned based on what evidence we do have, Lorne was drunk and naked in bed with his sister," Sheppard concluded, his jaw clenched. "Her story is looking a lot more likely than ours."

"At the moment, I'm afraid so," Jennifer sighed. "Everything I try Atrala seems to have planned for. I mean, she didn't get incriminating sperm from Major Lorne but since _we_ know that's possible with her story still being accurate, it doesn't help us."

"Then find something that does!" John said forcefully.

Jenn nodded … she had to trust the science, the medicine to reveal the truth, even amidst her doubts. It was what she believed in. "At this point we're back to trying to identify who Atrala was with last night, aside from Major Lorne. I'll take DNA samples from everyone who had access to the house last night – hopefully Atrala didn't plan for us to have the means to single out one man."

"This woman is really starting to piss me off," the Colonel muttered.

"Me too," Jenn agreed glumly.

"So, do you want to tell Lorne the bad news or should I?" Sheppard asked.

Jennifer hesitated, biting her lip as she thought about it. Evan needed to know, but he also needed something to go his way, and soon. So while she would have preferred to talk to him herself, time was of the essence. "I'll start testing our suspects," she decided. "You talk to Major Lorne … and please, be kind."

"Hey, I wasn't exactly going to go in there and rib the guy," John complained, adding when she raised a brow at him, "not after the first few minutes anyway, and you know, for the _right_ reasons."

"Think about how you'd feel if you were in his place Colonel."

"I'd rather not Doc," John retorted.

"Teasing isn't going to put him as ease," Jennifer said quietly.

"I know that," John insisted. "Listen, I'll take care of it okay. You go, find something useful."

"Okay," nodding Jennifer grabbed a handful of swab kits and threw them in her medical bag before hurrying from the room.

John stood for a moment considering whether he could get away with not telling Lorne anything and letting Jennifer think he had. With a longsuffering sigh he realised she'd know. The only thing to do was talk to Lorne.

* * *

><p>When the cell doors opened a few hours after Jennifer left, Evan expected it to be her returning to tell him what the tests had revealed. The Minister's guards had already brought him water and basic prison food and he didn't think Lumenis would be visiting him any time soon.<p>

Instead his CO entered the cell, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked around. His posture was stiff and the expression on his face was one Lorne recognised – Sheppard had things he had to say that he really didn't _want_ to say.

"Just give it to me straight Sir," he said when John continued to look at him without speaking.

"Okay," John took one of those preparatory type breaths and then said bluntly "The tests Doctor Keller did on the stuff she collected from you and what we got from Atrala's room prove you were in bed with her, together."

"Oh," Evan felt suddenly disconnected from his body – like he was there but somewhere else at the same time. God, he wished he could remember what happened! Had he participated willingly, because of whatever she'd given him, or had she well and truly forced him?

"Not intimately," John hastened to add, "well, obviously there was _some_ intimacy, but not what you're thinking." He paused before continuing, clearly reluctant. "There's more. Keller couldn't find anything in your blood aside from that celebration drink they served at the banquet."

"So I didn't rape her but I _did_ get into bed with her?" Lorne said bitterly. "That's hardly reassuring Sir!"

"I know it's not Evan," John rarely called him by his first name so whenever he did it always got Lorne's attention, "and this isn't the end of it. Minister Quaero is being extremely cooperative – I don't know if that means he has doubts about his sister but it's working in our favour. Keller is taking DNA samples right now, from any male who had access to Atrala's rooms last night. The Doc has a DNA sample that _isn't_ yours – once we work out whose it is I'll lean on them so hard they'll be glad to confess. Okay?"

"Yes Sir," Lorne took a moment to find some inner calm, a tougher ask than it usually was. "Just so you know Colonel – this really bites."

"I know – and I'd be just as pissed if I was sitting where you are," Sheppard replied. "Listen, the Doc said the amount of that drink you had in your blood stream was pretty high. Do you remember how much you drank?"

"That's the thing Sir," Lorne said earnestly. "I don't remember drinking _any_ of it. Terrene wine is very potent – we all worked that out the first time we stayed for the evening meal. You wake up the next morning feeling like you've been flattened by a Goa'uld mothersh-," he stopped realising abruptly that that's exactly how he'd felt. "Damn it – I should have realised this morning what it was! How the hell did I let myself fall for whatever trick she used to get me to drink that stuff?"

"Let's not jump to conclusions," Sheppard cautioned. "Maybe you didn't drink it okay … I'll get the Doc to question the Minister's medical staff – see if it's possible to get the kind of dose you got some other way."

"We're putting an awful lot on Doctor Keller's shoulders Sir," Evan couldn't help but point out.

"We are, but she's up to it," John said confidently. "She'll come through … you just have to be patient."

Lorne glanced around his cell and then said blandly "With such stunning accommodations to enjoy? Piece of cake Sir."

"Good man," Sheppard approved. "Sit tight – if worse comes to worse I'll let Ronon break you out of here."

"It'll be hard to find another source for what we get from Yanoma," Lorne said regretfully. "I'm not sure one man is worth what it'll cost Atlantis, even if that one man is me Sir."

"Whether we get you out of here fair and square or not, our agreement with Minister Quaero probably won't stand Major," the Colonel shrugged. "And right now I don't really care and neither should you. You really want that woman to get away with this?"

"Hell no, Sir," Evan shot back. "Just, don't get anyone killed on my account, okay? I won't be there to watch your back, or rescue you if you get yourself into trouble."

"I think I've got it covered Major," John said, amused that Evan was continuing their running joke on who rescued who, even in the present circumstances.

"You'll let me know what happens?" Evan felt the need to check – being locked up was affecting his sense that he existed outside of his cell. Is this what convicted criminals felt like? Forgotten to the outside world as soon as the cell door slammed closed?

"We'll keep you in the loop," John promised. "Now, get some rest Evan – you look like hell."

Lorne chuckled. "I feel it too Sir," he quipped.

John nodded but his expression was serious as he moved towards the door, stopping when he got there. "Don't blame yourself for this Major – it wasn't your fault."

"Hard to believe that Sir," Lorne shook his head. "She targeted me personally. You have _no_ idea how much I want to …," he stopped, swallowed back the rush of emotion he didn't want to examine any closer.

"Understandable, and I promise you, you'll get your chance to confront her," John said quietly. He waited for Lorne to say something but Evan didn't have a ready quip to lighten the mood – not this time. He couldn't risk opening his mouth because for the first time he wasn't sure he could control what came out.

"Get some rest," Sheppard reiterated.

"Yes Sir," Lorne ground out, his voice rough, keeping his eyes on the ground until he heard the cell door close quietly behind his CO.

Alone, it was impossible to keep the images from running through his head – his artistic side giving them a realism he could have done without. They weren't memories – they were what he now imagined had actually happened the night before.

Him staggering drunk, Atrala at his side. Her removing his clothes while he was unable to fight her off. The look of bitter triumph on her face once he was naked and in her bed. The two of them embracing, skin to skin …

"_Damn it!_" he growled, turning and planting his fist in the wall before he could stop himself. Pain radiated through his wrist and up his arm and he was glad of it, because it kept his mind in the here and now, in reality. Glancing dispassionately at his hand he assessed the damage - he'd spilt the skin between his knuckles and the blood welling out looked unnaturally red against the black bruises already forming. Flexing his fingers the only bright spot on his horizon was that while it hurt, it wasn't bad enough to suggest he'd broken something.

A drop of blood splashed to the floor, followed too quickly by another, and another. Grabbing the bottom of his shirt he ripped a section off and crudely wrapped it around his knuckles.

Jennifer was not going to be impressed with him.


	15. Fear

**Author's Note:**

Thank you lovely reviewers for your comments last chapter - I can see we're all ready for Evan to get out of the mess he's in. We're almost there ... hope you enjoy this latest chapter! Thanks for reading.

**Chapter 15: ****Fear**

"_We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." Eleanor Roosevelt_

In the end Jennifer tested fifteen men, most of them guards working for the Minister's household. Minister Quaero looked on impassively as she took the blood and saliva samples after the briefest of explanations on why. It was heading into early evening now - Jennifer was tired since back on Atlantis it would already be night time. Years of practice concentrating on minimal sleep had her still fully functional - John and his team also seemed unaffected by the unusually long day. For a moment she wondered how Evan was doing, how he'd taken the news that so far the evidence she'd collected wasn't helping him. Pushing those thoughts aside she concentrated on setting up her tests, hoping that this time there'd be something positive resulting.

She felt like Colonel Sheppard was breathing down her neck as she ran the matching program, comparing each sample against the unknown one from that morning. Had it only been a day since she'd started the investigation? It felt like weeks … and when the program had cycled through all fifteen samples without finding a match, she felt so discouraged it was an effort not to react.

"What does that mean?" John's eyes were locked on the 'No Match' message stamped across her laptop screen.

"Just what you think it means Colonel," Jennifer shot back irritably. Pushing away from the table she stood up, folding her arms over her chest. "None of these men had intercourse with Atrala last night, which means I have nothing that can help Major Lorne!" Her voice rose on the last part and she had to swallow back tears.

"Then we go back to Minister Quaero and we get more suspects," John returned heatedly. "We keep testing until we find the right guy!"

"I do not believe Minister Quaero will allow us unlimited time with which to conduct further tests," Teyla spoke gently but firmly. "Perhaps it is time to consider other solutions."

"I'm all for that," Ronon straightened. "I say we break Lorne out of that cell right now."

"Have you counted how many guards there are just in this building alone?" Rodney demanded impatiently.

"Ten at any one time, running in three shifts," Ronon was all business – clearly this wasn't the first time he'd considered solving the situation by force.

"Right, well, that's still two to one," Rodney retorted after a moment's pause. "In case you haven't noticed they all have guns – crude but capable of putting a life draining hole in even you Conan."

"Can Colonel Carter not come and negotiate for Major Lorne's release into our custody?" Teyla broke in to speak of another alternative.

"Evan won't go for any of these options," Jennifer said – her voice was quiet but it cut through the room like a knife. She was grateful that none of them had commented yet on how personally she'd been taking everything since she'd arrived on the planet – or on her occasional use of Lorne's first name. "He's done nothing wrong - he won't agree to anything that doesn't clear him completely."

"You're right," John said abruptly.

"Then what do you propose we do, because I'm not looking forward to coming back here every visiting day!" Rodney exclaimed sarcastically.

"Lieutenant Coughlin confirmed that Major Lorne did not consume Terrene wine at any stage during the banquet," Teyla commented. "The evidence against him, while incriminating, is circumstantial. Perhaps it is time I spoke with Atrala myself."

"She's a cool customer," Jennifer shook her head, discouraged. "I honestly don't think anything will break her. Coughlin also said this last trip wasn't the first time she showed an interest in Major Lorne. It's not about desire – he refused her and no one does that. With the lengths she's gone to to get her way I don't think anything we say will have her changing the course she's chosen."

"What is it they say about a woman scorned?" Rodney muttered, scowling.

"That they aren't above justice being meted out, just like everybody else," Sheppard said firmly. "Talk to Atrala anyway Teyla," he ordered. "Rodney can rig up something to record your conversation."

"I can?" Rodney queried. John's brow rose. "Right, of course I can," Rodney corrected himself quickly.

"Who knows," John continued. "Maybe she's just dying for the chance to brag about herself. If you approach her in the right way she might open up, especially if she thinks it'll be your word against hers if you repeat any of it."

"It's worth a try," Ronon agreed. "What do you want me to do?"

"Keep track of the guards, shift changes, duty locations," John replied. "I'm not letting that woman turn Lorne into her personal slave, no matter how much he protests."

Ronon gave a feral kind of grin – that was a duty he'd welcome enacting.

"I'm going to head back to the gate and fill Colonel Carter in on where we stand," John finished. "See if she wants to come and talk to Minister Quaero personally."

"And me?" Jennifer asked quietly.

"Assuming there's nothing else you can do here?"

Jennifer shook her head. "I've exhausted every test I can think of to run. Unless I get something encouraging from Doctor Cole's simulations, I'm all out of options."

"He won't be sleeping," Sheppard said. "Go and talk to him – keep him company for as long as the guards let you."

The order, while welcome, increased the feeling of despair that was growing inside. She'd failed Evan again … and she was scared this time he wouldn't get the miracle ending.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry," Jennifer said as soon as the cell door closed behind her.<p>

"Sorry for what?" Evan asked quietly, reading the disappointment in her expression. He wasn't resigned to his fate ... and there was no way he'd go quietly into Atrala's clutches. Whatever Jenn felt the need to apologise for, he had to hope there were still things to be done to prove his innocence.

"I couldn't find him," she admitted. "The man Atrala used to incriminate you – I couldn't find a match."

"It was a long shot she'd use someone who was allowed to be here," Evan shrugged. "Finding him was only the first step too – without a confession he might as well be me, for all the good it will do."

"It's nice that you want to make me feel better," Jennifer said with a bit more heat in her voice, "but I think I'd do better if you got angry or something."

"Already did that earlier," he held up his self-bandaged hand ruefully.

"Evan!" she scowled, crossing the room and sitting down beside him. "Why didn't you say something?" she questioned irritably, unwinding the fabric while he tried not to flinch. The bleeding had stopped a while ago, the drying blood sticking to the fabric badly enough that it hurt when Jennifer removed it. "When I said you were the most frustrating man it wasn't a challenge for you to find new ways to add to it," she sounded angry but she cradled his injured hand gently as she examined it. "This needs proper attention."

Before he could protest she was at the door, requesting her medical bag be brought to the cell. "I'm sure you don't want your prisoner dying from gangrene," she added, making it sound bad enough the guard was completely convinced. Jennifer waited at the door until the guard returned, bringing her bag back to Evan's side and taking out some supplies.

"This is going to hurt," she warned him, pouring something over the wound that made it burn. "I don't think you need stitches," she said a few moments later, once she'd looked closely at the cleaned wounds. "We'll use some tape instead – you won't be hitting any more inanimate objects any time soon though."

As she worked she filled him in on the rest of her investigation, letting him know that Teyla was talking to Atrala while Colonel Sheppard consulted Colonel Carter. She couldn't give him real hope but she did mention the work Doctor Cole was doing, and how that could at least prove he couldn't have consumed enough Terrene wine for the levels he'd shown.

"There," she said once she'd finished fixing up his hand. "You're lucky you didn't do more damage - hitting walls isn't usually a good idea you know."

"I was angry," Evan admitted. Flexing the fingers to test the bandages he was relieved to find the pain back to manageable.

"At Atrala?" Jennifer put a hand over his bandaged one, shifting on the bed to face him.

"Yeah, and at the situation," Evan admitted. "At myself for not being able to remember anything – for filling in the gaps with what I imagine happened." It was more than he meant to admit and the way she stiffened made it clear he wasn't helping her with her own guilt. Surely she didn't think he blamed her for any of that?

"I'm not angry with you Jennifer," he covered her hand with his uninjured one. "I got myself into this mess, long before you got here. I should have found another way to say no without offending Atrala."

"She doesn't like me," Jennifer offered, her eyes on their joined hands. "She kept calling you my Major too. I mean, she cooperated but she was rude about it."

"Ah, I wondered," Evan wasn't surprised. "Coughlin was ribbing me about the first names thing – he suggested maybe I could drop your name with Atrala – make is sound like I was off the market so she'd leave me alone."

"Is that right?" Jennifer's brow rose. "He never mentioned it when I questioned him about what happened."

"He wouldn't," Evan agreed. "Look, Nate was just teasing me. Any other time it would have gotten nothing more than a laugh. This time Lumenis turned up with Atrala on his arm – I wondered at the time if she overheard – I guess now it's pretty clear she did."

"So this _is_ my fault?" Jennifer looked horrified. She jumped up from the bed,

"What, because Nate used your name instead of making something up?" Evan scoffed. "That's crazy Jennifer."

"Maybe, but this feels too much like Elizabeth and Carson all over again."

"It's not your fault Carson was killed either." Evan said gently.

"I know that!" Jenn replied. When she looked up her eyes filled with tears. "It was just an accident right? Just like Elizabeth was an accident … just like _you_ almost were when you fell off that balcony."

"Look, I wasn't in the city when Elizabeth was injured so maybe I can't comment." It was a fact that still troubled Evan. He wasn't Apollo crew, he was Atlantis, and being safe on the Earth ship while his friends and colleagues had been fighting for their lives, annoyed the heck out of him. What he'd done, leading the team of F302's dragging an asteroid across the solar system and then releasing it into the path of the replicator weapon, might have been considered dangerous too – and it had been an essential part of the plan. All he knew was that flying that hunk of rock in meant he'd had to bail out on Atlantis, and he'd had no choice in the matter. Putting aside his own issues he focused on Jennifer's. "I've read the reports though, spoken to my team, so I _know_. Without Colonel Sheppard and McKay and Radek, without every gene holder who flew a jumper to clear the asteroid belt, without you, and without Elizabeth being able to do what she did on Asuras, Atlantis wouldn't be where it is now."

"It all just seems so random," Jenn sniffed, wiping her eyes self consciously. "You fall off the highest balcony in the city and somehow survive. Carson walked away from an explosive tumour he'd already handed over to the bomb squad and he died."

"So what you're saying is you would have preferred it if I'd died too – just so it makes more sense?" he queried blandly.

"No! God no," Jennifer gave him a horrified look.

"Relax Jenn, I was just kidding," Evan put an arm around her and squeezed reassuringly. It was the first time he'd shortened her name – the first time he hugged her too – and her eyes filled with more tears.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to clear you," she whispered. "What if –"

"Shh, let's not talk about that now, okay," Evan rubbed a hand up and down her arm.

Jennifer nodded, her hair brushing his chin as she rested her head against his chest.

"Something will turn up," he said in a low tone. "It always does. Like with the baby city alien thing. I still couldn't tell you exactly how I figured that one out."

"I know you had to tell Doctor Glennie everything for all the reports," Jennifer said softly, "but will you tell me some of it?"

"Sure, I can do that," he smiled, resting his chin against the top of her head. "You know about the paintings – how I can't remember creating any of them. Well, even though I had no memory of painting them I _knew_ they were the key – each one was like a piece in a much bigger puzzle. It took me a while to understand that they were all snippets - parts of a message from the creature, only we didn't speak the same language so it had to use what it could to talk to me. Mostly it was the paintings but there was also a sound I kept hearing ... and scents that made me think of certain things. When I let myself see them all, when I combined those impressions with the sounds and the scents, only then did I realise what was happening." He smiled. "If I put it into an art context it was like a mosaic – you know, those images made up of little coloured squares in different shades. Each square by itself is meaningless – the message in the mosaic only comes out when you step back and look at all the squares at once. When I did –"

"What did you say?" Jennifer's gaze sharpened as she interrupted him.

"About the paintings?" he queried, frowning. Jenn nodded. "Ah, that they were like a mosaic?" he repeated uncertainly.

"A _mosaic_," she echoed slowly. "That's it!" Jumping up she hurried towards the door. "You're a genius Evan!"

"_Jenn_?" Evan stood up, his hand on his hips, his brow raised.

"Sorry." Rushing back she put her hands on his shoulders, shifting up to tippy toes and kissing his cheek. "I need to go and check something but I think you just gave me the answer." Not waiting for his response, she all but ran to the door, knocking insistently until the guard came to let her out. "I'll be back," she promised.

Evan slumped back to sit on the bed. "_What_ answer?" he muttered irritably.


	16. Remorse

**Author's Note:**

****Thank you for last chapter's reviews guys - loving that you're all thinking about what's going on and looking forward to Lorne's being saved. You'll all get replies from me one the story is done. I used lots of Googling to write this chapter, and in particular a few different medical sources to confirm that what I'm doing here is real and documented. Any errors of interpretation are mine alone.

**Chapter 16: Remorse**

"_There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the whip of their own remorse."  
>Seneca<em>

Jennifer ran down the corridor back to her makeshift lab. "Colonel Sheppard," she radioed John on her way.

"Just on my way back from the gate Doc," John replied. "What do you need?"

"I need to see all the men I tested today," Jennifer skidded around a corner, slowing down now she was close.

"It's kind of late Doc," John pointed out.

"I know, but surely Minister Quaero will want to get to the bottom of this as much as we do," Jenn replied.

"And you don't want Major Lorne in that cell any longer than he has to be," John finished. He sighed. "Okay, stand by. I'm walking through the front door now. I'll go rouse the Minister."

Jennifer strode through into the temporary lab, her urgency apparent to the only other occupant in the room.

"Geeze, announce your presence before you just run in," Rodney complained, putting a hand over his heart dramatically.

"No time," Jenn gathered up her laptop with the details of the fifteen men she'd tested before heading back towards the door.

"Wait, I'll come with you," Rodney shut his own laptop and hurried after her. "So, you have a theory?"

"I do," Jennifer agreed, "and I'll tell you what it is once I work out if I'm right or not."

Rodney looked like he wanted to protest – he never did well when knowledge was kept from him.

"Is Teyla still with Atrala?" Jennifer asked, diverting him.

"How should I know?" Rodney shot back, giving an exaggerated sigh when she glared at him. "_Fine_. According to Teyla's last radio contact, yes she is, although what she could be talking to that woman about for so long eludes me."

Jenn didn't say it, but she wondered too. "And Ronon?"

"Still doing his secret stealth thing," Rodney replied. "Since that includes radio silence we can only assume he's okay."

"Ronon can take care of himself," Jennifer pointed out.

"So can Lorne, and look how that's turned out!" Rodney retorted. "You know, that this happened at all makes me think we need to seriously overhaul our off world protocols. I mean, if Lorne was given a Mickey Finn then what hope does someone like me have? It's only a matter of time before I end up drugged and losing my mind."

Amused, Jenn kindly didn't point out that Lorne had gained a woman's attention _before_ he'd been drugged – that it was how Evan was on a personal level that had earned him that unwanted attention. Not that Rodney wasn't an attractive and intelligent man – he just wasn't in the same calibre as Evan Lorne, not in Jenn's eyes anyway.

When they got to the larger meeting room they'd used that afternoon for testing, Minister Quaero had yet to arrive. A few of the guards were there however, one of them confirming the Minister and the rest of those considered potential suspects were on their way.

Once everyone was in the room John looked to Jennifer expectantly. "Okay, the stage is yours Doc," he told her, waving a hand towards their watchful audience.

"Thank you all for coming back here," Jennifer began. "Minister Quaero, thank you for your continued cooperation also."

"I must admit to being curious Doctor Keller," he replied. "What is it you wish of my men?"

"I want to see them all with their shirts off," Jennifer requested bluntly.

One of the men laughed, another muttering something that was probably crude and insulting that resulted in more chuckling. Jenn fought to control her blush as she waited for the Minister to ratify her request.

"Before I order my men to do such a think I must ask you what you hope to achieve by this action," Lumenis gave her a narrow eyes gaze that all but declared he thought she was clutching at straws.

"As you know, our understanding of medicine, of how the human body works, is several years ahead of your own," Jennifer explained. "One of the things we discovered some time ago is that there are basic building blocks for all life – we call them DNA. Everybody has a unique DNA composition and by testing their blood we can match them to that DNA signature."

"And this is why you took blood and saliva samples from these men earlier today," Lumenis summarised.

"Yes," Jennifer confirmed. "Even with our level of understanding though, there are still many things we have yet to work out. Things we'd observed and can explain that are so rare we consider them unlikely to occur. I need to look at the chests and backs of these men, in particular their skin, because I believe one of those rare conditions is the reason why I didn't find the match I was looking for previously."

The Minister seemed to consider her explanation for a few moments before he nodded. "Please remove your jackets and shirts and stand ready for Doctor Keller to examine you," he ordered his staff.

They were all silent now, doing as ordered and standing, some stiffly, waiting for Jennifer to approach. She went with a simple visual inspection first, asking three of the men to step forward when she was done. Removing a non standard torch from her medical bag she held it up. "This shines a special kind of light called ultra violet light," she explained. "It allows me to see things not usually visible to the naked eye."

Approaching the first of the three, she ran the light slowly over his chest and then his back. Shaking her head she nodded for him to step back, moving on to the second man. Again she shone the torch over his chest and then his back.

What the ultra violet light revealed was obvious to everyone – v shaped lines of a different pigmentation than the surrounding skin, running all over his back.

"I wish to speak to this man privately," she requested, stepping back and turning off her light.

Minister Quaero nodded, dismissing everyone else, leaving just the man, Lumenis, John, Rodney and Jennifer herself.

"You can put your shirt back on," she told the man kindly – he was younger than she'd expected, and looked scared more than anything else. If she was right about Atrala, he'd been coerced into something and didn't deserve Jennifer's contempt. Once he had she sat on the couch, aware that John sat down beside her – protection detail no doubt. "Please, have a seat," she invited, motioning to the opposite couch.

"What's your name, kid?" Colonel Sheppard asked.

"Yaris," the man replied.

"Yaris," Jennifer repeated, randomly thinking about what phrase Evan might make up to remember that name. "When I shone my light on your back it revealed what we call Blaschko's lines. They're minute differences in the colour of your skin that follow a recognisable pattern of lines. It's a sign of something we call mosaicism."

"There is something wrong with me?" Yaris asked, his face paling.

"No," Jennifer reassured him. "It just means that you're a genetic mosaic … you have two completely different sets of DNA. I tested your blood before and it didn't match the evidence I collected from the Minister's sister because your sperm is composed of completely different DNA." Jenn could tell he didn't understand her explanation but at the mention of Atrala Quaero he tensed, his eyes darting down to the floor before he made himself look up at her.

"I can get a sample of this different DNA from you Yaris … it will be embarrassing and potentially painful for you, depending on how cooperative you are," she said gently. "But I won't have to do that if you tell us what really happened last night."

"I do not know what you mean," Yaris said weakly. He looked tormented and Jennifer didn't blame him, especially with Lumenis listening to every word.

"You do," she insisted. "What you need to understand is that you aren't at fault here Yaris. It wasn't a violation because she gave you consent, she _asked_ you to do what you did. More than that, she threatened you with something, didn't she? Something that made you treat her in a manner you otherwise wouldn't."

Yaris's breath shuddered out of him and his shoulders slumped. "My sister …," he whispered, looking to Minister Quaero pleadingly.

"Yamina?" Lumenis frowned.

"Yes Sir," Yaris said in a low tone. "She attends the special school because of my work here. If I reveal my actions I will be dismissed and Yamina will lose her entitlement. This cannot be."

"I give you my word that Yamina will remain at the school, regardless of what you tell me here," Lumenis promised.

Yaris looked to the Minister, his eyes pleading for the reassurance that it was true. When Lumenis nodded solemnly the young man burst into speech.

"Atrala and I had been together many times in the past," he admitted. "I knew it was wrong but she is beautiful and mysterious and my heart was lost to her. I believed she felt the same – that despite our differences in station one day I would be able to reveal my feelings for her publicly and have them returned for all to see. Until last night when she crushed my hopes beyond all measure."

"How did she do that?" Lumenis had taken over the questioning but Jennifer didn't mind. Her part was done – once the story was told she knew Evan would be released and they could all go home.

"She came to me during the traditional dance," Yaris explained. "She was agitated and angry. When I asked her what was wrong she told me Major Lorne had offended her and asked me to help her to seek retribution. I wasn't sure at first what she meant but I agreed to help her. And then she gave me a syringe already filled with something and asked me to give it to the Major. I asked her what it was. She laughed and said just something that would make it easier for her to get him to admit to the insult he had dealt her."

Yaris looked at Lumenis apologetically. "I knew it was wrong, even then, but I could not bring myself to say no. I convinced myself it would be harmless, that Major Lorne deserved to be treated as such because he had offended my love. I waited until he was standing at the edge of the gathering and then, when the applause erupted, used the distraction to inject him. Atrala was there immediately it was done, urging me to lead the Major away. He was affected by the drug almost immediately. Atrala barely managed to get him to radio his men while he could still speak straight – after that he became disoriented and unsteady on his feet. That was when I suspected Terrene wine was involved – a pure form that can be injected instead of consumed, very dangerous to those not used to it. I could not believe she would do such a thing, especially to one of our off world allies. I was angry and Atrala began to cry – she showed such remorse, claimed she hadn't known what she was doing, and begged me to help her fix it. If I would just get Major Lorne up to the main house she could hide him away until he recovered and was able to leave unaided. Because it was Terrene wine he would not remember a thing. Again I agreed."

"Was Major Lorne conscious?" Jennifer asked.

"Just barely – by the time we got him up to Atrala's room he was unresponsive. Atrala slapped him hard enough to wake the dead and yet he did not react. This is when Atrala's true nature became obvious. She yelled at Major Lorne – called him names I cannot repeat – and slapped him again, many times. I stood by, shocked at first, and then stepped up and restrained her before she could hurt the Major. She turned on me, yelling that I was useless and questioned why she had wasted so much time letting me bed her. She was so contemptuous … so cruel. I could see it in her eyes, when the plan occurred to her. She did not beg me for help then – she threatened my position in the Minister's household and assured me she would get Yamina removed from school if I did not do as she said." Yaris looked at Jennifer remorsefully. "I love my sister Doctor, and what she asked, before the act itself, did not seem much more than we had done previously. I did not want to treat her so roughly but I truly felt I had no choice. She stripped Major Lorne of all his clothes and then ordered me to rape her, to hit her and to be so rough that no one would doubt that she had been violated. We engaged in these activities while Major Lorne remained unconscious beside us. Afterwards she draped herself over the Major's body – 'to make sure even his precious Doctor would know his true nature', she said." Yaris took a deep shuddering breath and then threw himself from the chair to kneel at Minister Quaero's feet. "I am not worthy and yet I beg you to forgive me for these dishonourable acts."

Lumenis looked at the young man, his eyes tormented. Then he put a hand on Yaris's shoulder and urged him to get up off the floor and return to his seat. "It is not me you should ask for forgiveness," he ground out, his voice rough. "And it is not for me to express remorse for what was forced upon you either. Only my sister can do that."

"Teyla," Sheppard tapped his radio on and spoke purposefully to his team mate. "Are you still with Atrala?"

"I am," Teyla replied.

"Can you bring her to the room we used earlier today?" John requested.

"Very well, we are on our way," Teyla agreed, signing out.

No one said anything while they waited for the two women to arrive. When they did and Atrala saw Yaris sitting beside her brother she immediately knew the score.

"How could you?" Lumenis demanded. "How could you use one of my own staff to implicate Major Lorne for such a deplorable act? _How_ Atrala?"

"I beg your pardon?" Atrala demanded. "What lies has this scum being telling you brother?" she gave a fine performance of being innocently outraged.

"Don't bother to deny it," Lumenis shouted. "They have proof Atrala! Yaris confessed to everything. I knew you were selfish and self serving but I cannot believe you would stoop so low."

"What _proof_?" Atrala snarled, turning on Jennifer.

"Settle down there Scary Spice," John warned, shifting forward, his eyes flat and hard.

"It's okay Colonel," Jennifer smiled, surprised she was capable of the level of almost mean satisfaction she was feeling, not to mention the fierce desire to rub that proof in Atrala's face. "You set the scene expertly," she told the other woman, "but you're just not that smart. Yaris left evidence behind … inside where you couldn't wash away what you made him do. You carefully contrived for only evidence of Major Lorne to be found on you but there are some things you can't contrive. The only reason I didn't identify Yaris earlier is because he has a very unique genetic make-up. Now that we know that I can prove that he was the one you were with last night. Coupled with the evidence I have from the Major there's no doubt that he's innocent of attacking you. I can prove that you set him up, that you willingly participated, that you let Yaris abuse you while Major Lorne lay beside you unconscious." Her tone was full of disgust as she reiterated just how depraved the other woman was. "All Yaris did by confessing is save me the time it would take to run more tests."

"I will submit to those as well Doctor, if it will help," Yaris spoke up, his voice hardening as he looked at the woman he thought he'd loved.

"SHUT UP!" Atrala screamed, turning to her brother. "Lumenis – please, you must believe me. It was all Yaris' idea, to discredit the Atlantians."

"For what purpose?" the Minister asked wearily. "He had no motive. You, on the other hand, were slighted by Major Lorne every time his team visited here. I should have realised you would not let that go, no matter how politely he refused you."

"You would have him, a mere outsider, insult me like that?" Atrala demanded bitterly. "Of course you did nothing, just like you did nothing in the past. If I did not take matters into my own hands then as I have now, another man would be walking free to force himself on others."

"Atrala," Lumenis intoned sadly. "What happened in the past does not excuse your actions now. And isn't what you have done to Major Lorne as bad as what you suffered all those years ago? You of all people should know better."

Atrala stood frozen, her eyes locked on her brothers, her body trembling. Then she let out a wail of despair, this time genuine, and collapsed at her brother's side. He hesitated before putting a hand to her hair. "I see that I am not innocent in this matter either," he murmured sadly. Looking up at Colonel Sheppard he nodded. "Major Lorne is free to return home Colonel. I will understand completely if you wish to sever all ties with Yanoma."

"Let me talk to our leader," John returned. "Perhaps we can salvage something out of this mess."

"Perhaps," Lumenis agreed, his eyes on where his sister still sobbed uncontrollably.

"Listen, I promised Major Lorne he'd get the chance to confront Atrala once the truth was revealed," Sheppard admitted. "I can see that there's a little more going on here than we need to know, but still, I'd hate to go back on that."

"Bring him," Lumenis decided abruptly. "It is time Atrala took responsibility for her actions."

"Doc, you wanna go and collect the Major?" John offered.

Jennifer grinned, jumping up and hurrying from the room before the Colonel could change his mind.


	17. Relief

**Author's Note**

Apologies for the delay in posting this next chapter - I kind of forgot about it, too caught up in a few other things. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter - one more chapter to go and then replies will be forthcoming. For anyone curious, the genetic mosaic concept is a real condition. I didn't get the idea from CSI (not a show I watch these days) but I did stumble across reference to that episode when I was looking for specific details - pretty cool! Okay, on with the chapter ...

**Chapter 17: Relief**

"_If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow." Rachel Carson_

Late into the evening Evan was tired enough to forget his reservations about the previous occupant of his cell and stretch out on the bed. His head ache had returned and he felt flat, beyond the stress of his circumstances.

He'd really been hoping he wouldn't have to spend the night in jail but that looked unlikely now. Jennifer had rushed out more than an hour ago and not returned, and while he'd like to think she'd come back to fill him in eventually, maybe there was a reason why she couldn't.

One thing he was sure of – there was no way he was _ever_ returning to Yanoma, orders or not. Everyone had to have a few 'no go' zones and this planet had become one of his. With a deep sigh, he turned on his side, back to the wall, and closed his eyes.

The sound of the door opening roused him some time later. When Jennifer rushed in wearing the kind of smile he'd been hoping to see all day, he knew his luck had finally changed.

"Evan!" Jennifer exclaimed, grabbing his arm and all but dragging him up from the bed. "Minister Quaero has dropped the charges – you're free to get out of here."

"It's about time," he retorted, following her from the room. "Did you catch the real bad guy?"

"We did, although …," Jennifer stopped abruptly in the hall way, turning to look up at him. "Maybe I should fill you in before we go back to Colonel Sheppard and the others."

"Fill me in on what?"

"Atrala coerced one of the Minister's young guards to sleep with her and make it look like an attack," Jennifer revealed. "She had him inject you with a large dose of something containing the active ingredients of Terrene wine – that's why you don't remember anything. You were there, but at the same time you weren't – Yaris, the man she coerced, said you were unconscious almost immediately after they got you to Atrala's room."

"What about the physical evidence?" Evan asked, his expression guarded. On the one hand he was happy there was nothing for him to remember as such, but on the other it disturbed him to learn that he'd been completely at the mercy of these people. They could have done anything to him and he wouldn't have known it.

"Planted," Jennifer replied. "She ah, she lay on top of you after she was done with Yaris, to make sure it would look like you were the guilty one. She didn't count on the kind of tests we can carry out."

"That's a disturbing picture," he muttered with a grimace. His skin crawled with that 'I have foreign crap on me I really need to get off yesterday!' feeling. "I could really use a shower right now," he admitted ruefully.

"Not surprising," Jennifer said lightly, her expression full of understanding and concern for him. "Yaris confessed to everything and Atrala broke down when her brother confronted her. I almost felt sorry for her Evan – this time it was a lie but I have no doubt she _was_ raped sometime in the past, and that the perpetrator got away with it, that it warped her views of the world and of men in particular. I'm not saying that excuses her behaviour towards you … but maybe it explains it a little."

Evan nodded, not sure how he should feel. So Atrala had been attacked in the past? So what? The instance he thought like that he regretted it. The lack of charity or mercy in that kind of thinking didn't become him – he didn't believe in an eye for an eye and he'd never set out to get revenge on anyone. He had to stick to his own code of behaviour or he'd regret it later. "So what now?" he asked.

"Colonel Sheppard asked that you be allowed to speak to Atrala," Jennifer revealed. "Lumenis agreed."

"Right, okay," Evan put his hands on his hips, looking back the way they'd come and then towards the front of the building. "Now?" he asked vaguely.

"Yes, but only if you want to," Jennifer put a hand on his forearm. "You don't have to do this – you can just go home and none of us would think less of you."

"Yeah, but then later on, when I start wishing I'd said something, it'll be too late. There is no way in hell I'm ever coming back here," Evan pressed his lips together, hating that he didn't feel as in control of his emotions as he would have liked.

"You're tired and still feeling the effects of the drug," Jennifer said gently, squeezing his arm comfortingly. "Don't be too hard on yourself."

Taking a deep breath, Evan nodded. "Okay, let's get this done," he said firmly.

Jennifer looked like she wanted to say more but she let go of his arm instead, falling into step beside him as he started walking again. When they walked into the meeting room, everyone stopped. He felt under the spot light and didn't like it at all – he was a background kind of guy even under the best of circumstances and the attention he was getting from his own people as well as Lumenis and the rest of those present grated. "This is when I really start wishing you'd found my boots," he murmured close to Jennifer's ear.

She laughed. "I don't know … I kind of like the barefoot look," she murmured back, a slight flush gracing her face.

"Really?" Evan let his brow rise. "Good to know."

"Major," Colonel Sheppard drew his attention.

"Sir," he replied, his posture instinctively straightening, even though he was out of uniform.

"We're about to head out of here," Sheppard nodded towards where Lumenis sat, his sister now quiet beside him. "If there's anything you want to say, now's the time."

The choice was his … and as he approached the two, Evan wasn't really sure what he intended to say.

"Major Lorne," Lumenis looked at him, the regret and guilt washing away his politician's façade. "It may not count for much but I deeply regret the manner in which you have been treated – by my sister and by myself. You have my humblest apologies."

"Ah … okay," Evan said awkwardly. This was crazy – what the hell could he say to these people that would make him feel better?

And then Atrala looked up, her eyes meeting his and immediately sheening with tears. The sceptic in him wondered if they were genuine, and he said nothing, waiting for her to speak.

"Major Lorne," her voice was rough and thick with tears. "I … you didn't deserve how I treated you."

"No, I didn't," he returned intently. "Why?"

"Because you didn't want me," she whispered, so low he had to lean closer to hear her.

"You're a beautiful woman Atrala, a fact I'm sure you're well aware of," Lorne retorted. "But you're cold and bitter … maybe most people don't see that in you but I did."

A trail of tears tracked down her face at his words and he regretted how harsh they sounded, if not their content. "Didn't it occur to you that even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't have taken you up on any of your offers?" he asked in a milder tone, relenting a little, the gentlemanly core of his character coming to the fore.

She sniffed, shaking her head as she looked up at him.

"I'm a _soldier_," he spelled it out bluntly, "bound by rules that include refraining from conduct unbecoming to our military's core values. There has _never_ been a single moment when I've considered breaking them, not for you, not for anyone."

"I'm so _sor-ry_," she cried, turning to her brother again and burying her head against his shoulder.

"We both are," Lumenis told Evan sadly.

"It's okay," Evan said, and he meant it. All of a sudden it _was_ okay.

"Thank you Major," Lumenis said. "For your understanding I am in your debt."

"Ah, okay, sure," Lorne shrugged. 'Of course you know I won't be coming back here, right?"

Lumenis smiled. "I will remain in your debt just the same Major."

"As long as we understand each other," Evan returned. Looking back at Colonel Sheppard he nodded. "I'm done Sir."

John stepped forward. "I'll talk with Colonel Carter," he told Lumenis. "We'll send through a message once she's decided on the status of the trade agreement."

"Thank you Colonel."

"Lead the way Major," John invited, waving a hand towards the door.

"Ah, I'd like to Sir," Evan looked down at his bare feet, "but I could really use some shoes first."

"Allow me Major," Lumenis spoke softly to his sister and then called one of his guards over. A few minutes later Lorne stood a little taller, his boots back where they belonged. It was amazing how vulnerable a man felt without his footwear, and how much more grounded he felt now he had them back again.

"Shall we try again Major," John nodded towards the doors.

"Yes Sir," Lorne strode forward purposefully. It was dark outside – Evan appreciated that they were leaving even though usually they didn't walk to the Stargate in the middle of the night.

"Are you okay?" Jennifer moved up beside him, her voice soft in the quiet darkness.

"You know what, I think I am," he glanced down at her before turning his attention back to the trail. "At the end of the day there's nothing traumatic for me to remember – it could have been a lot worse."

"I know," she murmured.

"So, you came through for me Doctor Keller," he smiled when she paused to look at him before continuing. Colonel Sheppard and his team were only a few paces behind them but the darkness lent a privacy to their conversation. He could hear murmurs of conversation from John's team without being able to make out the words. "And you doubted that you belonged here."

"It was just luck -," Jennifer began.

"Uh," he stopped her with a raised finger and his 'Major Lorne' voice. "Don't spoil a perfectly good thank you with excuses Jennifer."

"Sorry," Jenn smiled, amused. "Please, continue."

"Okay, as I was _saying_, I think this proves pretty conclusively that you are more than up to whatever Pegasus can throw at us," Evan declared. "So, no more talk of anyone replacing you, okay?"

Jennifer walked beside him, silent for longer than he'd expected. But then she nodded. "No more talk of replacements," she agreed.

"Now tell me, how am I a genius?" he smirked.

"It was what you said about mosaics," Jennifer explained. "They're a collection of smaller elements that make up the bigger picture. As soon as you said that I remembered an article I read a few weeks ago, about genetic chimeras."

"That's what Yaris was?" Evan queried, interested.

"Without doing a lot more testing I can't say for sure, but I think he was more a mosaic of genetic material than a true chimera," Jennifer replied. "A chimera is someone who shares the complete genetic structure of two individuals, usually from absorption of a non viable twin in the early stages of pregnancy. A mosaic happens when there's a mistake in cell division soon after fertilisation – creating a large number of cells within the body that are chromosomally different, even though they originated from the same source initially." She glanced at Evan and laughed. "And I'm boring you to sleep on your feet, right?"

"Not at all," Evan said gallantly. "So Yaris has two sets of DNA. How did that help me?"

"It didn't," Jennifer followed him through the trees, the moon lighting their path sufficiently that the torch light from his P-90 was almost unnecessary. "It actually hindered the investigation initially. Without making you squeamish over the details, essentially his blood carries one set of DNA, his sperm another. I had the sample of the latter from Atrala but when I tested all the people who had access I used blood and saliva to source their DNA."

"So, … no match," Evan concluded.

"No," Jennifer agreed. "But once I suspected Atrala's attacker was potentially a genetic mosaic it enabled me to identify them conclusively, just be examining their skin. Even Minister Quaero understood the significance as soon as Yaris was identified."

"So I really _am_ a genius," Evan quipped.

"Don't let it go to your head Major," she returned. "Yaris was so remorseful I think eventually he would have come forward on his own. Only fear for his sister kept him silent for so long. Once the Minister guaranteed that he spilled the entire story."

"Yeah, but this way I got to avoid a night in jail," Evan pointed out.

Rounding the bend the Stargate came into view, the naquadah it was made from glowing in the moonlight. Evan felt something inside unclench at the sight. You couldn't really count yourself as home until you stepped through the gate.

"It looks pretty at night," Jennifer commented softly.

"It does," he agreed. "I never noticed because we usually don't walk through the woods after dark."

"Sounds like a recipe for a great ghost story," Jennifer joked.

"You should come off world with my team sometime Jenn," Evan grinned. "Nate tells a ghost story that will scare your socks off."

"Maybe I will," Jennifer smiled as they stopped beside the DHD.

"Dial it up Major," John ordered.

Quickly punching the Atlantis gate address, Evan moved to stand just out of range of the kawhoosh, the others ranging out around him.

"Atlantis, this is Sheppard," John radioed first, nodding for McKay to send their IDC. "I have Major Lorne with me.

"That's great news Colonel," Samantha Carter's voice came through loud and clear. "The shield's down – come on home."

* * *

><p>Coughlin, Reed and Chiang were all waiting for him on the other side – he greeted them and put up with their back slapping and general teasing about his 'off world appeal'. None of them knew the full story and he had no intention of filling them in. Obviously he'd given his team too many reasons to worry about him recently because he had to argue for them to let him go to the infirmary alone. Eventually they agreed, after he reminded them that Doctor Keller could order them to get some sleep.<p>

Back with the full range of Atlantis medical equipment at her disposal, Jennifer insisted he submit for a full medical. After their last experience with tests it wouldn't have been a surprise if things felt awkward, but thankfully that wasn't the case. Not because Jennifer has gotten over her nervousness around him – he had to grin when she handed him over to Amanda Cole, telling the other woman that she was Major Lorne's doctor from now on. When Doctor Cole questioned why, Jennifer flushed and then muttered 'conflict of interest' before disappearing into her office.

"Conflict of interest?" Cole queried, confused.

"Ah, maybe this is one of those things where you had to be there," Evan suggested evasively.

"Maybe," Amanda glanced back at Jennifer's closed office door with narrowed eyes. "I don't want to know, do I?"

"Probably not," Evan agreed.

"Right, well let's get you checked out then."

It didn't take long – as soon as Amanda gave him the all clear he was up and heading for Jennifer's office. He knocked, waiting until she called 'come in'.

"Evan," she said, surprised, swivelling in her chair in the small space. "You should be off getting some proper sleep."

"I will in a minute," he promised, closing the door behind him. "Look, after that whole 'evidence' debacle this morning I promised myself that if you still seemed interested I'd ask you out."

"Really?" Jennifer asked, her expression shifting to delight.

"Well, what I actually thought was that I'd ask you out in front of my team in the Mess Hall, during the busiest period," Evan admitted.

"Well, I guess you should do that then," Jennifer suggested sagely.

"Really?" It was his turn to question; only he was less than delighted.

"It's important to live up to the things you promise yourself," Jennifer said softly, and Evan knew she was talking about herself as much as she was him.

"Okay … just as long as you do say yes," he agreed mock sternly. "You _are_ going to, right?" Evan couldn't believe how nervous he suddenly felt, how he actually wondered for a moment whether she would say yes, even with how she'd been on Yanoma.

"You'll just have to ask me and find out," Jennifer said evasively. "Now, while I might not be your doctor anymore, I _am_ the chief medical officer. I _can_ order you to bed."

"Fine," Lorne said a little petulantly.

"You look beat Evan," Jennifer said gently, patting his hand fondly. "Plenty of time tomorrow to conquer the future."

"Conquering … I _like_ the sound of that," he smiled, letting her push him out the door with a laugh. She was right, there was always tomorrow.

* * *

><p>The next day Evan sat down with his team in the Mess Hall. It was busy – as busy as it got, and the noise level made it hard to have a real conversation.<p>

He wasn't that interested in talking anyway – all his attention was fixed on the entrance. As soon as he saw Jennifer arrive he kept his eye on her, tracking her progress until something made her look up and straight at him. He pointed to himself and then to her, raising a brow questioningly. She smiled and nodded.

Mission accomplished, Evan settled back in his chair, only then noticing that all three of his companions were watching him with varying degrees of surprise. "What?" he demanded.

"Maybe you should ask Doctor Keller out Sir," Reed suggested helpfully. "She's nice and she seems to like you."

"Don't say that like you're surprised Dan," Evan advised.

"I'm not," Reed tried to back track. "It's just that she's pretty and a lot of the younger guys talk about taking her out on a date."

"So what you're saying is I'm too old?" Evan kept his expression bland, watching Dan's face get progressively redder as he ran his own words back in his head.

"Lieutenant, Airman," Jennifer arrived at the table before Reed could put his foot any further in his mouth. She looked at Evan and smiled. "Hi."

"Hi yourself," he replied, shifting so she could sit next to him.

"So, Reed thinks I should ask you out," Evan said as soon as she was settled. "What do you think?"

Reed's eyes went wide and he inhaled so abruptly that he choked. Nate and Jimmy laughed even as the latter helpfully slapped Dan on the back until he's recovered.

"What do I think?" Jennifer mused, eyeing Evan up and down thoughtfully, dragging out her answer. "Sure, why not." Her eyes twinkled.

"Great," Lorne sat back, content. "I saw you were on the roster for M7G-677," he said, changing the subject.

"Wait," Reed clearly couldn't help himself. 'Excuse me Ma'am," he addressed Jennifer, "but Major Lorne didn't actually ask you out."

"Seriously man, do you have a death wish?" Jimmy muttered.

"You're right Reed," Evan said at the same time, "I didn't." Turning to Jennifer, he winked. "Would you like to go out with me Jennifer? I hear next movie night they're showing Cloverfield."

Jennifer laughed – it wasn't exactly a ghost story but it was close enough. "I'd love to go with you," she told him, all teasing dropping away.

They looked at each other for a few moments more before Evan nodded. "I guess it's a date then."

"I guess it is," she agreed.

"You wanna clear out of here, go for a walk?" he asked.

"Definitely," Jennifer stood when Evan did, the two of them pausing only to say good bye before they picked up their untouched trays and left the table.

* * *

><p>"Did that just happen?" Dan turned to Nate and Jimmy disbelievingly.<p>

"He set us up," Nate declared with a shake of his head.

"What?" Jimmy frowned.

"The Major set us up," Nate reiterated. "No way was that the first time he asked Doctor Keller for a date."

"They were playing us, both of them?" Reed asked incredulously. When Coughlin nodded, Dan grinned. "That is so cool."

"Yeah, it is," Coughlin agreed, chuckling.


	18. Love

**Author's Note:**

Here it is, the last chapter! Thank you so much everyone who read and especially those of you who reviewed - getting those comments and feeling that people were interested in seeing more of the story definitely motivated me to keep editing and posting (that one strange incident of forgetfulness not withstanding!). Mild adult content alert on this chapter - I think it's still T+ though - also fluff alert too :). Hope you enjoy the end of the story.

**Chapter 18: Love**

"_The chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are."  
>Oprah Winfrey<em>

As Jennifer stood in front of her mirror, checking her appearance, she still couldn't believe how quickly things had changed. She'd gone from questioning whether she belonged on Atlantis at all to agreeing to remain CMO permanently. And she'd gone from admiring a man from afar with no expectation it would ever be anything more to readying herself for their first date.

Most of those changes she had to attribute to Evan – he'd been the one to admit to how he was feeling back on Yanoma; he'd had the personal fortitude to live up to what he'd promised himself he'd do during the crisis. Somewhere in the midst of that Jennifer had discovered some inner fortitude of her own. It wasn't just because an attractive man much sort after had decided _she_ was the one he wanted to get to know better, although that didn't hurt. No, it was his unwavering confidence in her when it was his own future at stake that made her wake up and really look at herself, what she wanted, her strengths, her abilities. As a result, she felt more in touch with her confidence than she had in a long time.

Of course, Evan still made her nervous as hell, even though she'd sat with him for lunch every day the past week and gone for walks with him a couple of times too. None of those counted as dates though – his words – so tonight, their attending the regular movie night together, was getting that label.

Her door chimed, breaking her from introspection. Her heart was pounding in time to the butterflies that danced in her stomach but she moved to the door and swiped it open.

Evan stood in the hallway, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. The shirt he wore over a white t-shirt matched the colour of his eyes, and with the scuffed brown leather boots he had on he seemed taller than usual, and even more attractive in casual clothes than she'd imagined.

"Hi," he smiled, dimples appearing, just in case her pulse rate wasn't high enough.

"Stop that" she said irrationally – trying to calm her nerves when he was looking like every girl's fantasy date was an exercise in the impossible.

"Stop what?" he questioned, all innocence.

"Flashing those dimples at me," Jennifer blushed as soon as she realised what she'd said, cursing again her tendency to blurt out whatever was in her head when she was stressed. "Um … I guess I'm just a little nervous," she admitted.

"Good nerves or bad nerves?" he asked, taking enough steps to bring him well inside her personal space, although they weren't touching. The door swished closed behind him but neither noticed.

"Good?"

"You don't sound very sure there Jenn," Evan smiled. "Is there anything in particular that's making you nervous?"

"What, other than you?" she muttered under her breath.

He laughed. "I'll say one thing for you Doctor Jennifer Keller – you do wonders for a man's ego."

"Really?" Jennifer smiled weakly in return.

"Really," he repeated, reaching out and smoothing a stray strand of her hair back behind her ears. "Listen, we don't have to do this tonight, not if you're not ready."

"Yes we do," Jenn said firmly, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the door before she could talk herself out of it.

"Okay," he said slowly, letting her lead him out into the hall. She slowed down once they got close to the movie room, only then realising that she was still holding on to his hand. When she let go he didn't reciprocate, squeezing her hand reassuringly instead, the warmth of his palm on hers warming her through and through. "Relax," he murmured, taking over the lead as they walked through the door.

Jennifer didn't know what she'd expected – maybe that everyone would turn to look at them, openly wondering why Evan Lorne would be out on a date with her. Instead their appearance barely raised an eyebrow, a few people greeting them before attention was turned back to the screen. Colonel Sheppard and Ronon were seated at the front, the Colonel raising a casual hand to acknowledge his 2IC's arrival. Evan nodded back, seemingly perfectly comfortable with whatever speculation his being there with her was going to earn him.

"Here," Evan chose a pair of seats near the back, letting go of her hand to put his at the small of her back, guiding her.

She sat, glad for the chance to get herself under control again. They'd arrived only a few minutes before the movie started – when the lights dimmed Jenn could pretend that she was completely self composed, that a simple smile or small touch from Evan didn't short circuit her brain.

The movie, Cloverfield, wasn't really her cup of tea, more horror than ghost story. Before the half way point she'd completely lost the plot, her attention all on the man sitting next to her. She didn't realize that Evan was equally distracted until he leaned closer and whispered near her ear. "You wanna get out of here?"

Nodding, she let him take her hand, the two of them trying to leave as discretely as possible.

"I'm sorry," Evan said as soon as they were out of ear shot. "If I'd realised the movie would be like that I would have suggested something else."

"No, it's okay," Jennifer smiled. "I guess I'm just not in the right frame of mind to watch a horror movie. My mind is too cluttered."

"Come with me," Evan offered her his arm in a gesture that was both gallant and endearing.

Folding her hand around his elbow Jenn let herself be led without worrying about where they were going. Instead she focussed on how nice it was to walk beside him, to feel the muscles in his arm and know the power contained underneath the casual exterior he projected, to smile when their hips and legs brushed together every few steps.

They walked for ten minutes or so, a journey that included a transporter trip and a flight of stairs leading up a few levels. When they emerged they were in a small room that was almost completely wall to wall windows. Lights from the surrounding towers crisscrossed the room, enough for her to see her way, but not enough to spoil the impact.

"What is this place?" Jennifer asked, letting go of Evan's arm as she walked closer to the far side of the room.

"A look out," he suggested, stopping beside a control console and swiping his hand over the panel. A grinding sound came from above – when Jenn looked up she saw the roof retracting, revealing the night sky above them.

"Wow," she murmured, her eyes fixed on the view of stars sparkling in unfamiliar arrangements, one of the two moons just visible low on the horizon.

"I come here when I want to clear my head," he shared, walking across the room until he stood with her. He looked up too, the pair of them remaining still and silent as the majesty of the night sky claimed them. "It's easier on the neck if you lie on the floor," he added, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck and moving his head from side to side. "Like this," he said, lowering himself to the floor and then stretching out on his back, legs crossed at the ankles and hands folded over his chest. He made a point of keeping his attention on the sky, leaving the decision on whether she'd join him entirely up to Jennifer.

He looked so … peaceful, content even. Not giving herself a chance to think, Jennifer quickly followed his lead, arranging herself close to him in a similar pose.

As soon as she'd gotten comfortable she looked up again, and a feeling of calm washed over her. The stars were so bright and there seemed so many more of them than she'd noticed on their old planet. There were colours there too, faint swirls of blues and reds that probably meant the presence of phenomena with impressive names. All she knew was that it was beautiful and serene and it touched something inside in need of that serenity.

"Better?" he murmured after long minutes of silence.

"Very," Jenn replied softly. "This is … beautiful doesn't seem good enough to describe it."

"I keep meaning to bring an easel up here – but when I'm here usually my mind isn't in the right place for art," he shifted, turning to his side so he could watch her. Jennifer turned her head to see his expression, flushing when she saw the way his eyes tracked over her features.

"When was the last time you came up here?" she asked, both of them keeping their voices low, adding to the intimacy the room itself encouraged them to feel.

"The day after we got back from Yanoma," he shared. "Before that it was after the Apollo dropped me off, when the reality of what happened while I was gone hit me."

"Elizabeth," Jennifer murmured sadly.

"Yeah," he closed his eyes for a moment and then met her gaze. "We were friends … had to be after so many occasions when Colonel Sheppard was missing or captured and I'd have to stand in his place – offer her reassurance before she sent me out to go and get him back. It was tough learning that while I was safe up on the Apollo she'd given her life to save the city."

"I'm sorry," Jenn whispered, turning her head back to the sky above.

His hand was warm against her cheek as he used it to turn her gaze back to him. His eyes held a seriousness and intensity she hadn't expected, as well as a maturity and wisdom that seemed to fit. "Losing people is inevitable and feeling sad about it is no more than their due," he said intently. "There was a part of Elizabeth that wanted to get out there and kick a little ass – personally I think that part of her revelled in the chance to take that ZPM right out from under the Asuran's noses. That part of her appreciated that you gave her the chance to make her death have meaning, instead of being the result of a random accident. We both know, without reactivating her nanites, the Elizabeth we both knew was already gone. How can it have been a mistake to give her those extra hours when this city and everyone in it is here as a result?"

"Thank you," she whispered, her smile watery.

"You're welcome," he replied, using his thumb to brush away the tears before they could fall down her cheeks.

Some unspoken agreement had them both turning back to the sky. They stayed there until the cold and hard floor became a distraction. Evan rose first, offering his hand to Jennifer and then pulling her to her feet.

"I don't want the night to be over," she blurted out, blushing when his brow rose.

"Well, a first date isn't a success unless you're still awake talking when the sun rises," he replied. He looked down then, his smile so modest and sweet that she wanted to grab him and kiss him senseless. Then he returned his gaze to hers. "Would you accept my completely innocent invitation to take this date back to my quarters? The view from the balcony isn't bad and I have chairs, and blankets, so you'll be warm. The sun rise will make it worthwhile, I promise."

"I'd be delighted to," Jennifer smiled, taking the hand he held out for her and once again walking at his side, as of that night her favourite place to be.

* * *

><p>His quarters were much less cluttered than the last time she'd been there. The canvasses were gone, the walls looked to have been repainted, and there was no trace of the mess made by the city shaking itself around. When she glanced up and saw the mural still there over his bed, she smiled. "You kept it."<p>

"Yeah," he came to stand behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I thought about painting over it too but it serves as a reminder of two things."

"Which are?" Jennifer asked, leaning back until she was resting against his chest.

"Those painting were all about feelings," he said, his breath stirring the hair against her neck, "and the big picture I was supposed to understand from them. I've always tried to pay attention to what people need – its part of my job – but I realised after you came here that day and saw the same thing I did in the mural, how dangerous it can be to make assumptions."

"You made assumptions about me?" Jennifer wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"Not deliberately," Evan admitted, "but yeah, I did, in a way, because I didn't stop to consider how you'd be handling having to take over from Carson after losing him just like the rest of us had. I regret that because maybe I could have made things a little easier for you."

"You've made them much easier since that day," Jennifer felt compelled to say. "When it counted you trusted me as a Doctor – even though messing it up could have led to you being imprisoned or Colonel Sheppard causing a major diplomatic incident to get you free. I don't know how to tell you what that means to me."

"You wouldn't have messed it up," he said simply.

Jennifer smiled, turning in his arms so that she could look up at him. "You're a good man, Evan Lorne," she said softly, going up on tippy toe as she had once before and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

She felt him smile as soon as her lips touched his skin. Where before he'd let her go, this time when she shifted away he stopped her, his arms tightening around her as he held her still.

"Not so fast," he murmured. And then he just hugged her, lowering his head so that his cheek was pressed to the curve of her shoulder and neck.

"What was the second thing," Jennifer whispered, "with the mural?"

"It reminds me of the first day I really saw you."

She pulled back, her eyes locking with his. They were so close, closer than they'd ever been, and the enormity of that was overwhelming. She'd been attracted to Evan almost as though it were a concept instead of something real – now it was very real and the desire that pulsed through her had her wanting things she'd never contemplated on a first date before.

"See, now this is the part where you tell me when you first noticed me," he teased, lightening the moment deliberately. "Come on Jenn, fair's fair."

"But it's embarrassing," Jennifer complained, trying to pull away.

"It's _embarrassing_?" Evan's brows rose sharply even as he held on to her. He was gentle about it but strong – there was no way she was getting clear without playing dirty. "How could it be embarrassing?"

"Because it is," she insisted.

"As I recall, you promised to tell me," Evan reminded her. "You can't break a promise made while in a jail cell – it's a rule."

"A rule you just made up," she returned, laughing. "Okay, fine … how long have I been here?"

"Ah," his eyes narrowed as he tried to work it out. Since he had a fair hand in keeping Atlantis staffed as well as making sure they were all trained, it was knowledge he would have. "Eighteen months, give or take," he finally answered.

"That's your answer then," she said.

"Eighteen months?" Evan looked incredulous. "You felt like this," he motioned like he was gesturing to some kind of visible connection that bound them together, "for _eighteen_ months and you never said anything?"

"What was I going to say?" All of a sudden Jennifer didn't mind where the conversation had gone – because in his reaction were clues on how he was feeling now. She found herself grinning when she realised he honestly couldn't imagine holding back on the level of attraction both of them were generating between them.

"Hell, I don't know," Evan retorted. "Eighteen months," he repeated, shaking his head. "I _was_ going to take this slow but now … eighteen months," he murmured. And then he was lowering his lips to hers and Jennifer was sunk. It was everything a first kiss should be and seldom was. They meshed instead of fumbled, knew each other instantly instead of hesitating, and gave each other exactly the right amount of everything – the press of bodies and lips and the heat and moisture of tongues that begged for greater intimacy.

That one kiss carried them forth on a wave of lust neither could hold back from. Where his touch had warmed her before, now it heated her from the outside in. She wanted everything from him … _with_ him … and for the first time she didn't want to wait. Surprising herself with her audacity, she was the one to signal this was going to the next level. Lifting her hands from where they'd been buried in his hair she pulled the back of his shirt from his pants, making a space for her to get inside, to run her hands up his back, pulling him closer to her at the same time.

"Jenn," Evan whispered her name, breaking away enough to look at her. "This is –"

"- going at just the right pace," she interrupted, pressing herself against him. Somewhere in the rush of impressions and thoughts in her mind there was relief that she could feel how much he wanted her too. "Eighteen months," she was the one to repeat it this time.

"You're sure?" the gentleman in him needed her to convince him they were on the right track – rationally, instead of mindlessly carried away by lust.

"There have to be moments you just grab hold of and squeeze for everything they're worth," she said softly, her eyes locked on his so he could see how serious and determined she was. "Moments that, if you let them go, don't happen in the same way again. Can't you feel how this is one of those moments?"

"I've felt that way since you first looked up at that mural Jenn," he replied. "But you have to agree, we're putting the cart before the horse here. We don't really know each other as well as we could."

He was right – they were about to put feeling ahead of knowledge – and she was perfectly fine with that. Because she was in love with Evan Lorne – a year and a half of knowing the public him along with the recent weeks when he'd let her see so much more were enough for her to know it. She wasn't ready to tell him but she felt it, so real and so overwhelming there was no way she would ever feel any differently. So true that she knew, instinctively and with faith, that he would love her too. "There'll be plenty of time for us to get to know each other better," she smiled, confident, watching an answering smile grow on his face.

"True," he agreed, with all the meaning and promise in that one word she could have hoped for; and then he was kissing her again and she was with him all the way.

* * *

><p>"So, you and Doctor Keller?" John queried casually the next morning, like he was commenting on the weather forecast. The two men were standing on the edge of the Gateroom floor, watching their teams plus guest, getting ready for a mission off world.<p>

"Looks like," Evan said, equally casually. "Is that gonna be a problem Sir?"

"Not for me," John smirked. "McKay'll be disappointed though – he was on his way to developing a nice little crush on our new CMO."

"I think I can live with his disappointment Sir," Evan quipped.

"You know, when I told you to make sure she didn't leave, hooking up with her wasn't quite what I meant," John joked.

"But you have to agree Sir, I didn't let you down," Evan motioned to where Jennifer was directing the organisation of medical supplies onto the waiting MALP for their mission to M7G-677. She looked comfortable and confident … and at ease in a way neither of them had seen before.

"No, you certainly didn't," Sheppard said seriously.

Evan looked at him, saw the expression of approval on his CO's face, and knew John was talking about more than Lorne's success in helping Jennifer feel more confident in her new role on Atlantis. He'd had a tough few weeks that would have knocked a lesser man off his feet, but not Evan. He'd stuck to the core that made him who he was and in the process saved an alien entity _and_ survived an attack on his honour as a man, all without cracking.

"Thank you Sir," he said simply.

"You're welcome Major," John smirked. "Just remember who's in charge of the big needles and you should be fine."

Jennifer looked up then, catching Evan watching her. Her expression was quizzical until he shrugged, gesturing for her to ignore him. She smiled, shaking her head before turning back to her work.

When Evan gave himself a chance to think about it, the depth of feeling he already had for her surprised him, and yet he was comfortable with it. He'd never really thought about how having someone to come back to would change him … they might still be at the beginning of the road but he could already see that road stretching off into the distant future, and he was comfortable with that too.

Yes, no doubt about it. With Jennifer Keller around to look out for him, Lorne would be more than fine.

**The End!**


End file.
